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07-01-2013 13:22 #11
07-01-2013 13:37 #12
HELP! 9 year old and emotional tantrums/playing the victim/martyr
I would take her to the gp for a referral to see a child psychologist under Medicare. They can teach her strategies to help her to develop a more 'half glass full' thinking style and improve her emotional resilience.
07-01-2013 15:26 #13
Dannielle, Id like to discuss this a little more with you. She actually suffered with Reflux as a baby and was medicated for it. I dont believe she has constipation issues, but I do believe she could still be being effected by food.
My daughter has seen a school counsellor when we were going through separation and divorce, but she wasnt overly great. No results as she wasnt keen on talking to her, and we just muddled our way through it all. I have spoken to her teacher before the holidays and she noticed a change in her work and spoke to her about it and aparently she was nervous about her OS holiday. So these things have been worked on and she has improved. She has friends in school and is a very well liked girl, her school results were brilliant.
07-01-2013 15:42 #14
The '123 Magic' parenting plan has a system for dealing with this exact problem. Perhaps you could buy the book.
07-01-2013 18:20 #15
She has always had some anxiety issues mainly due to noise sensitivities and she gets a bit nervous about change. When her teacher is away she gets a bit anxious but if she knows the replacement teacher she is perfectly fine. If they were going to say go to the computer labs but then they couldn't for some reason she gets a bit anxious about it. Going on holidays stresses her a bit but once she is there she is fine. It's like she doesn't know what to expect so she gets anxious about it but once we are there she see's the place she is ok etc. Her twin sister also has anxiety issues (hers are mainly bug, fly, animal, anything that moves related) so maybe she was always going to have some anxiety problems.
We still get the odd normal moody moment but not to the extent we were getting where we were basically all walking on egg shells around her.
We have to give her Osmolax daily for the constipation and she is on Losec for the reflux for the time being. Reflux pain is better but not completely gone as yet. She says there is no pain unless I press on the area the Paed told me to check sort of just below the chest.
I was so surprised when the Paed told us that both her constipation and reflux can cause Anxiety problems and Behaviour issues.
Working on her self esteme has helped a bit too I think. Just overall praising good things and also in after school activities. Her gymnastics coach (she just does Recreational but her sisters both do Levels and Team Gym) knew she was extra sensitive and always praises the kids when they do good so that helped. And she really likes swimming so we have been doing some extra swimming with her. She went up to squad level and was so proud of herself but more importantly she enjoys it.
07-01-2013 18:36 #16
OMG you have completely described my daughter. She is sensitive to sound, she reakons she hates music (although I think that may have become her "Thing" IYKWIM), and yes, change can unsettle her.
After her big meltdowns, its like it never happened, shes perfectly fine and happy again. Its like she needs to blow off steam and then is fine once its all out. We had a chat while we did the dishes together to try to put the ALWAYS into perspective, I asked her about being in trouble all day today and got her to tell me how it was ALWAYS, and she mentioned three times, two of which we discussed and agreed it wasnt getting into trouble, but being told something, and yes once she did get into trouble. We also talked through all her good points, what she's good at, how her sisters do show her they love her and so on. I think this is just something we will have to do often.
I asked her if she would like to talk to a counseller as it might be easier than talking to Mummy, but she said no way. I said to her then that she will have to be a big girl and instead of throwing a meltdown, she needs to come to me and have a chat about whats bothering her and we'll work through it together. She agreed.
07-01-2013 18:42 #17
HELP! 9 year old and emotional tantrums/playing the victim/martyr
Maybe a child counsellor could help? I took my (younger) DD to a child's counsellor who did play therapy to help her overcome some phobias. I found it really helpful, as did she.
07-01-2013 18:44 #18
07-01-2013 19:04 #19
Wow, they sound so much alike! DD#3 thinks she hates music too but really enjoyed the end of year dance they did at school last year and did really well. But at the same time didn't like how noisey the concert was.
She also needs to put the ALWAYS and ALL DAY into perspective. So and so being too noisey ALL DAY is usually only one short incident.
We also had/have talks too and discussed going to a counseller as well. But DD#3 was exactly the same and said no way too! She actually got extra anxious about seeing the counseller until I agreed that we would leave it for the time being. That's when we decided to see the Pead that her twin sister saw because we were able to reassure her that he was nice (her twin sister has ADHD and Anxiety). I thought he was going to say she needed to see someone but he seemed to think she would feel better after getting the conspitation and reflux under control. He even said he felt that even going to the toilet every 2nd day (she was worse though) isn't often enough.
07-01-2013 19:22 #20
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