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  1. #41
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    Default Men shouldn't be present at birth.

    I haven't given birth yet, and I understand each and every couple are different. His views make lots of sense to me.

    Would I want my DH in the room if I was part of a big supportive family with knowledgable MW around? maybe not... Maybe I'd be happy for him to come over once bub is out...

    Would I imagine going to the delivery suite without DH now that I live overseas and have a very short support network? No way. I would feel so abandoned in a hospital where the only person I know is my OB...

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by headoverfeet View Post
    I can't see anyone here on bh agreeing in our culture of fear based birth though.
    Fear? Our births were nothing but joyous, for both my husband and myself.

    To have excluded him from our births would have brought nothing but distress to me, and would have robbed him of the four most beautiful days of his life.

    As for the original article... over-generalisation is rarely a good idea. We know that birth is an incredibly individual experience for every woman, it would be foolish not to acknowledge that it's equally as individual an experience for men and for couples.

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  4. #43
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    Well, I think this OB should just do his job and not speculate on what he thinks is best for women, unless its medical and within his field of expertise. He might be a medical professional but he is not a woman - how can he possibly know what's best for every woman during the birth process??

    Myself, I really wish there had have been less people at my birth... Coming and going... And looking back it irritated me and I wanted to be alone, just with the midwives. My ex was there but I would have been fine if he wasn't. But its for me to say, no-one else!

    Oh and on a side note... This whole idea that women scream and shout at their husbands, abuse people etc etc during birth is not necessarily the case. I was in pain but otherwise fine and didn't abuse or yell at anyone!!

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  6. #44
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    Default Men shouldn't be present at birth.

    I birthed my firstborn in a quiet, dark room, sitting in a birth pool filled with warm water, cradled by my DH. I had a midwife sitting quietly in the background.

    It was an absolutely beautiful birth. DH was amazing and so supportive, both physically and emotionally.

    My second birth was very, very different to the first. I freebirthed and I didn't have DH with me. It was equally amazing though.

    Quote Originally Posted by headoverfeet View Post
    One ob I actually totally agree with. I do believe the best place for a woman to give birth is alone in a dark quiet place or with just a very quiet unobtrusive midwife present. I can't see anyone here on bh agreeing in our culture of fear based birth though.
    I personally would never tell a woman who should be at *her* birth. I think that's a bit strange to be honest.

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  8. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    I personally would never tell a woman who should be at *her* birth. I think that's a bit strange to be honest.
    The birth described by headoverfeet would be very traumatic for me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    The birth described by headoverfeet would be very traumatic for me.
    Agreed. And not because I have bought in to a 'culture of fear' either. Just because I see things differently, and that does not appeal to me.

    I can't comprehend thinking that what's best for one person is what's best for us all.

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    Default Men shouldn't be present at birth.

    What a crock. I suppose men shouldn't hold the babies ever either?

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    Default Men shouldn't be present at birth.

    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    I can't comprehend thinking that what's best for one person is what's best for us all.
    Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot... All women should have caesareans under bright lights surrounded by at least twenty medical staff and their mother-in-law.

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    I'm not afraid of birth - quite obviously, since I believe it's natural and normal and will be doing it at home under the care of a midwife.

    I still want my partner present though. I'd also like my daughter there, if she'd like to be. It's an experience I want him to be able to have too, and I actually think it's quite an important one if we want fathers to be quite involved in the raising of their children.

    I don't care how much experience this guy has - 50 years ago, around the time he would have first started his job, women were semi-unconscious for a lot of it, and just woke up to have given birth to a baby. My grandmother, who had 5 sons this way, said it was a horrible, scary experience. So yeah... eff "the good ole days," when men weren't around... I'd much prefer the kind of experience I'm planning!

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    Default Men shouldn't be present at birth.

    He is not saying men shouldn't be at birth though, he is trying to initiate a debate. Which I believe is usually a good thing
    To quote this OB
    "My only objective is to justify a series of questions by suggesting that the issues are much more complex than we commonly believe. It would be premature to offer clear-cut answers. Questions should precede doctrines."

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