Ive calmed down a little bit.
Not at all a fan of sharing my DD over xmas
I realise hes a dik and theres nothing that will change that, I just need to prepare my girl as much as possible. My neighbour has offered for DD to cuddle her 3 cats as often as DD likes when she gets back And i'll just explain to DD why we cant have the cat but that she'll see it when she visits Dad. We have a gorgeous little dog here that DD adores. DD will be fine, and come the 6th I'll be fine too!!
Its hard sometimes, knowing he is doing things that will hurt DD, but theres nothing I can do to stop that.
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24-12-2012 21:32 #11
24-12-2012 21:32 #12
What an impressive douchey thing. And it's not just the meanest thing to do to YOU, or mean on his daughter... that poor kitten! What's going to happen to it now?
Bet he didn't think that one through.
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24-12-2012 21:54 #13
My ex did similar to me one year, I was furious. It's inconsiderate and presumptuous. What an ar$e!
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24-12-2012 21:59 #14
Id be soooo upset!!
Try avoid saying 'no' ...instead share her happiness over the kitten etc. etc. and then say how much you would LOVE it if the kitten could come home but cats make you very very sick and it would be left outside...its better left at daddys house where it can be inside and looked after until she gets to visit it. Hopefully she can understand and it will come off like you would love a cat otherwise...rather than mummy being mean and saying no.
24-12-2012 22:10 #15
Very disrespectful. Even if he wasn't aware of your allergies, you should never buy someone a pet without first consulting them (or you're sure they would be happy).
Your DD is not going to be the one looking after it (not to mention PAYING eg food & vet bills).
You and your DD will get over this. But it's the poor animals that get forgotten in these situations, very unfair. I hope he keeps it.
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24-12-2012 22:15 #16Senior Member
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Maybe she can bring home plenty of photos of kitten to see her thru to next visit ( if it doesn't make it worse for her )
Fingers crossed she will follow your lead & not be too upset about it.
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24-12-2012 22:29 #17
Ourbradybunch thats what im going to suggest. Her father is sending back a photo album i send each visit for him to add photos of DD and her surrounds up at his place, so she can look at them whenever she pleases throughout the yr. I'll suggest he gets some of the cat (and i have the one on my phone he sent me).
I really do hope the cat is looked after, whatever happens to it :s
DD is a tough kid.
London thank you, thats a great way to approach it! I will speak to her about it if she bring it up on the phone, or when she comes home.
I text her father again, appologising, that im a little stressed right now with DD being away but that we cannot have the cat. He didnt reply, but atleast i feel better.
I dont need rough waters with him right now, so close to xmas. Last time we didnt get along during DDs visit with him, he tried to keep her permenantly (thankfully we now have orders!!!!!!). So yep, stress!!!!
24-12-2012 22:31 #18
What a $hitty thing fir her dad to do without discussing it with you first.
DD1's dad would do something dumb like that. He also doesnt allow her to bring home her presents which i find super annoying. Not like she doesnt have loads here but it upsets her when she gets given something new at his place and then told she can only use it there when she only goes like once a month.
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24-12-2012 22:36 #19
RmumR exactly!!! DD is up there 4 times a yr, so once every 3 months. The same here, she has stacks of stuff at our place (hers and mine) but nothing that daddy has given her. I think it'd be a nice reminder of him for her to have something from him at her home.
To me its not about STUFF. It could be a $2 teddy, or a book, i dont care, just something for DD to relate to daddys house.
But he doesnt see it that way. He wont even let her wear 'his' clothes home, she has to change into the clothes i'd sent her in :s
very bitter man i think (even though we've been seperated 4 yr and divorced for 3!!)
24-12-2012 22:42 #20
Yep same with the clothes situation here. DD1 is changed out of what ive sent her in as soon as she gets there then back into that outfit to come home.....he is pathetic.
Whats the point in spending the money to buy clothes that get worn a half dozen times and toys that don't get a chance to be played with
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