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  1. #41
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    I dont agree with what they did but i also dont like how this thread has panned out, we wonder why people dont ask for help people dont admit there mistakes BH is a perfect example as to why not because people are straight away out with the knifes, This couple know they could of handled things better, they know they did the wrong thing they feel bad they are embarrsed butthey have been honest, does it make it ok? no i dont think so but does it mean a bunch of keyboard warriors have the right to rip them to shreds??

    Are you perfect ? have you ever made a bad parenting decision ? have you ever yelled at breaking point ?

    If yes then arent you glad no one tore you apart over it. if you havent well then you are perfect.

    Many year ago when my daughter was a baby about 2 years old at the time, she was very unwell we was in and out of hospital ( like every other year) she was in pain all the time because of her stomach, anyone this one night i had not slept a wink for 3 nights not even put my head on the pillow DD was getting worse but we was trying to perservere with the set up we had with her tubes, anyway she screamed and screamed and screamed this night screamed the point i couldnt take it any more, I put her in her cot while she SCREAMED like you would not beleive, I had to get out of there for a minute i literally was a breaking point ( and YES i mean literally ) i walked out of her room and i shut the door i was broken i was in tears i walked outto the kitchen next to her room on the way a spewed in the toilet i was that wound up, i walked into the kitchen i splashed my face with water to cook me down, i turned around and i punch the tiled wall in my bathroom, i punched it hard and broke my knuckle, It swelled instantly i took some pain killers had a glass of cold water and went back into DD i picked her up out of her cot she was still sobbing and i sat on the floor with her and we both cried out eyes out. To this day i felt guilty for walking out of that room and breaking her heart for leaving her for about 5 minutes but i needed to do that I literally could not take any more at that point.

    We had done the co sleeping thing but she had too many wires and we was getting to tangled and DH was getting no sleep either, we have also done the side cart thing the me sleeping in her room withher, now at 6 years nine months she is in her own room with a king size single hospital cot and i have a lounge chair in there which i sleep on often but now i do get to come to my bed more often than i used to

    Parenting can be hard, we cant all be perfect its that we learn from our mistakes that is important, For me what i learnt about my breaking point was to NOT ever got 3 days with otu any sleep no matter what if things are that bad she has to be in hospital, i can NOT do it, As long as i get my one hour of consectuative sleep in a night im happy if not i am cranky but not at breaking point i just makes surei i get my 20 minutes here 10 minutes there, i sleepin her cot many nights lol but i did learn that no one can cope on no sleep for 3 days and still look after a baby

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  3. #42
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    words escape me. that poor little boy!

  4. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    For some people, co-sleeping is not an option that they want to explore.
    I don't like the idea of locking a child in their room but agree with London here. Some people, like me, absolutely cannot do the co-sleeping thing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ana Gram View Post
    I don't like the idea of locking a child in their room but agree with London here. Some people, like me, absolutely cannot do the co-sleeping thing.
    and co-sleeping doesn't necessarily guarantee a good nights sleep anyway

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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    You know what, I don't know what I would have done in that situation. I haven't got a baby yet and at this point I think I would NEVER do what that father did. But without being in that situation I can't judge.

  9. #46
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    Default I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    I feel terrible for those poor people. What a difficult situation, I'm glad they got through it.

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  11. #47
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    I am not keen on the method that they used but sleep deprivation is used as a torture for a reason.

    I am very pleased that I have not been in that situation, but I can't judge that family too harshly.

    And to people saying that he is terrible for threatening to go to a hotel, it is sometimes a fact that the person who brings in the income needs to sleep to continue to bring in that income.

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    The thing I didn't like was how he manipulated his wife into doing it by threatening to leave.

    apart from that, I think this poor couple were desperate and I have no doubt the little boy was miserable due to his lack of sleep. I think it's an awful thing to do, and probably very frightening for the poor child...sometimes it's hard to see the light at the end in a haze of extreme sleep deprivation.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jade24 View Post
    Yes, I'm quite shocked at most of the reactions here too!

    I have 5 children. I've been at breaking point many times during my 11 years of parenting, but if I ever got to the point of feeling the only option was outright traumatising my child, I would seek help.
    Sounds like they did seek help and nothing worked.

    Quote Originally Posted by jagamoe View Post
    I've been where this father is My 6 yr old DS wouldn't sleep at all unless it was with me and it drove me insane. At2 He would not sleep unil maybe 2-3 am everywhere with consistent routine he would get out of bed countless tomes a night screaming and throwing tantys escape his room climb over baby gate go down a flight of stairs and get into everything in the middle of the night I was single mum getting no sleep n no support I resorted to taking the handle off the inside of his bedroom door n letting him cry it out. Took 3 nights but finally he stayed in his room and slept mostly 3-4 hrs a time which was a god send. What prompted me to do this was one mornjng 4 am he escaped his bedroom down the flight of stairs let himself out the dead bolted back door with a chair and was in the unit complex car park. Thankfully my neighbor who was going to work grabbed him and came and woke me. It was for his own safety I removed the inside handle. I didn't lock him in though other occasions he had gotten out of his room middle of the night killed my fish. And pet rats and escaped into the back yard I fully get where this guy is coming from I just don't agree with the bolt lock.
    My DS was diagnosed with ADHD &ODD @ 4 and put on melatonin to help him sleep thankfully I now get sleep from him my DD 2 yrs old has a baby gate tightened so it can't be opened at her bedroom door with door open so as if she gets out of bed she can't get out of her room and hurt herself etc but lately she's screaming the house down unless I'm in her room with her 5-6 times a night resettling her back to sleep so now I feel like a zombie again hopefully she grows out of it she was a great sleeper and now she's killings with sleep depravation
    My son was the same. I had to set up a chair in front of his bedroom He was 3 and he would get up and rearrange furniture, empty the fridge and line it all up across the kitchen floor. Then go back to bed. the 3rd day I sat in front of his door all night I fell asleep he snuck past and not sure how long I was asleep but I woke up found him in the living room then took him back to his room to bed. I felt pain on my foor and realized that he had gotten the iron and plugged it in then placed if face down on the carpet. We could have died if it caught fire. Thats when I went to the doctor and he was put on sleeping meds.

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    Default Re: I locked our toddler in his room every night to save my marriage

    I do not think that I would continue using this method for months,nor the locked door until 7am,but I do not see the harm in what they did to break the cycle. It only took one night to show a difference and the parents were there at all times.They did not abandon him and they did not let themselves get to the point of hitting him out of pure exhaustion.

    As for the ultimatum,something had to give and I believe he said it out of love not selfishness.


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