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    Default Re: Little girl permanently removed from her good single mother :(

    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Most people with mild intellectual disabilities are difficult to spot. They're mostly high functioning members of society. It is judgmental to think she can't look after her child.

    How many of you actually know somebody irl with a mild intellectual disability?
    I will have care of someone with a ‘‘mild‘‘ intellectual disability once my mum passes away. She will be a fully grown adult as she is now. And she will NEVER grow up. Her age hasnt changed since she was ten years old. Ive been the one to take care of her her entire life, push for testing and diagnosis and spent most of ny life explaining to my family that she wont be as they want her to be. Shes only now been diagnosed and they are FINALLY accepting it. She will always be a child, despite outward appearances. She is not capable of caring for a child. She will never be capable of it, and it makes me extremely sad, but it is what it is. I will be a mother to a grown adult, i cant be a sister and do the sister things. I wish i could. Instead i recieve judgement and told i treat her as sub human and dont treat her as an equal. I treat her as what she mentally is, which is a child.

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  3. #72
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    Default Little girl permanently removed from her good single mother :(

    Quote Originally Posted by Willow View Post
    So, how do we take action to change this and also hopefully in the process support this girl?

    - I accept that there are details we don't know and if more transparency were given, it might come to light that the child is better off with the relatives...

    I am happy to write a petition and email it out to anyone who is interested in signing. This law seems to be wrong on so many levels.
    You could very well be advocating that a poor child be put back in the hands of a loving but incapable mother. Let's hope the decision making stays with an independent authority who actually knows the facts of the case (a judge). If not, and harm comes to the child then shame on everyone who signs the petition.

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  5. #73
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    Default Little girl permanently removed from her good single mother :(

    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Most people with mild intellectual disabilities are difficult to spot. They're mostly high functioning members of society. It is judgmental to think she can't look after her child.

    How many of you actually know somebody irl with a mild intellectual disability?
    'High functioning' I completely disagree. People with an intellectual disability often struggle to maintain employment and require ongoing support. Yes they do not look disabled but they have serious cognitive difficulties

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    Default Little girl permanently removed from her good single mother :(

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    I will have care of someone with a ‘‘mild‘‘ intellectual disability once my mum passes away. She will be a fully grown adult as she is now. And she will NEVER grow up. Her age hasnt changed since she was ten years old. Ive been the one to take care of her her entire life, push for testing and diagnosis and spent most of ny life explaining to my family that she wont be as they want her to be. Shes only now been diagnosed and they are FINALLY accepting it. She will always be a child, despite outward appearances. She is not capable of caring for a child. She will never be capable of it, and it makes me extremely sad, but it is what it is. I will be a mother to a grown adult, i cant be a sister and do the sister things. I wish i could. Instead i recieve judgement and told i treat her as sub human and dont treat her as an equal. I treat her as what she mentally is, which is a child.

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    Seriously think this person must have a moderate intellectual disability, not mild.

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    Boobycino  (17-12-2012)

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    Default Re: Little girl permanently removed from her good single mother :(

    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Seriously think this person must have a moderate intellectual disability, not mild.
    Of course you would know my sister better than I, and know better than the specialists she‘s been to see. Whyever didn‘t I think of coming to you for diagnoses of her?

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  11. #76
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    Default Little girl permanently removed from her good single mother :(

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    Of course you would know my sister better than I, and know better than the specialists she‘s been to see. Whyever didn‘t I think of coming to you for diagnoses of her?

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    Because you have one sister makes you an expert?

    I work with children with mild and moderate intellectual disabilities, and find the difference between them vast!

    The children with mild intellectual disabilities are nothing like you described. If your sister's disability is so profound, why did you have to fight tooth and nail to get diagnosis?

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    Default Little girl permanently removed from her good single mother :(

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    You could very well be advocating that a poor child be put back in the hands of a loving but incapable mother. Let's hope the decision making stays with an independent authority who actually knows the facts of the case (a judge). If not, and harm comes to the child then shame on everyone who signs the petition.
    I agree!

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Because you have one sister makes you an expert?

    I work with children with mild and moderate intellectual disabilities, and find the difference between them vast!

    The children with mild intellectual disabilities are nothing like you described. If your sister's disability is so profound, why did you have to fight tooth and nail to get diagnosis?
    It doesn't make me an expert, nor did I claim it ever did. And, would you believe that some families and people just refuse to accept that their children are NOT normal? Or as normal as society dictates them to be?

    And would you be having this disagreement if I were her bio mother, rather than her sister?

    ETA: I'm only a year older than my sister. I don't think you realise the affects that caring for someone because no one else will has on a person. It is exhausting. I've had to screen my partners because I can't be with someone who can't/won't accept her, and the responsibility that comes with this, my entire life. I love her, more than life itself, but it doesn't make it any easier and it doesn't change anything. I've practically raised her since she was a child and having people question these things is HARD.
    How would you feel if someone started questioning your parenting, making you feel inferior, pathetic and like you didn't do enough?

    I CHOOSE to take on my sister, because I REFUSE to put her into care. I can no longer trust my own family for help with this. If what you say is true, I can't trust the specialists to help me care for her as she needs and deserves. And what do I do then? Eleven years it took to convince my mother to take her to get tested. The ONLY thing that made her was the threat of losing money. My hands are tied until she's in my car.
    Last edited by Jennaisme; 17-12-2012 at 20:13.

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    Default Little girl permanently removed from her good single mother :(

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    It doesn't make me an expert, nor did I claim it ever did. And, would you believe that some families and people just refuse to accept that their children are NOT normal? Or as normal as society dictates them to be?

    And would you be having this disagreement if I were her bio mother, rather than her sister?
    Being a teacher, I'm well aware of parents who deny their children testing etc.

    I was simply pointing out that the way you have described it seems like her disability is more severe than mild. Most of the children in the mild intellectually disabled class at my school will go on to lead relatively "normal" lives, most of them doing it independently. The other class at my school that has children with moderate intellectual disabilities, well I can see that those children will de dependent on someone for the rest of their lives.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    A child should not have to raise their own parent. Soon this girls age will be above that of her mothers. Then what happens?

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    Oh sh!te, we best re-home all children with higher IQs than their parents!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    I will have care of someone with a ‘‘mild‘‘ intellectual disability once my mum passes away. She will be a fully grown adult as she is now. And she will NEVER grow up. Her age hasnt changed since she was ten years old. Ive been the one to take care of her her entire life, push for testing and diagnosis and spent most of ny life explaining to my family that she wont be as they want her to be. Shes only now been diagnosed and they are FINALLY accepting it. She will always be a child, despite outward appearances. She is not capable of caring for a child. She will never be capable of it, and it makes me extremely sad, but it is what it is. I will be a mother to a grown adult, i cant be a sister and do the sister things. I wish i could. Instead i recieve judgement and told i treat her as sub human and dont treat her as an equal. I treat her as what she mentally is, which is a child.

    Sent from my HUAWEI-U8850 using BubHub
    There's a difference between protecting fertility and taking an already existing child away from a mother who was coping.

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    You could very well be advocating that a poor child be put back in the hands of a loving but incapable mother. Let's hope the decision making stays with an independent authority who actually knows the facts of the case (a judge). If not, and harm comes to the child then shame on everyone who signs the petition.
    According to the article she was capable - assessed by various professionals.

    So much stigma from so many people. We're in the 20th century people.

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