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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by peanutmonkey View Post
    But the line is different to everyone - someone may feel that their partner/husband watching p o r n IS cheating? And that's ok, that's their own view on it... I think that's the point that FOBS and others are trying to make... that whilst some women are ok worth their husband/partner watching p o r n, others aren't, and that all women shouldn't have to put up with it because people say That all men do it... because the truth is, all men dont watch it. A lot do. But all don't.

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    Hhmmmm .. I never thought of watching p o r n as cheating. Question then, how do you justify it as cheating if you're not physically with the person and you can't talk to them or touch them? Again, genuine question as I just don't see how someone can consider watching p o r n cheating.

    Of course it's ok if someone feels that porn IS cheating. I never said it wasn't. I just can't see how one could possibly compare physically being with a prostitute and having penetration/kissing or whatever else goes on with prostitutes to watching a screen with a guy and a girl or a girl and a girl or whoever getting it on.

    OP, I agree too that if you really feel that strongly about it then yes, you shouldn't have to put up with it. I guess that's why we have choices to walk away from relationships. I just know that if I had walked away from my DH just because he sometimes likes to watch p o r n, I would have allowed the best thing that ever happened to me walk out of my life. Knowing how amazing he is to me and with me, I would have spent the rest of my life gladly kicking my own a$$.
    Last edited by Mod-RaryGirl; 14-12-2012 at 13:03. Reason: trying to prevent the p o r n spammers

  2. #32
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    Default relationship issues - 30 weeks preg

    I'm sorry but I have never met a man that has not or does not watch p o r n...

    My DH included. I'll be honest, I hate it too, but its a fact that men are visual and p o r n is visual.

    Men also lie (as do women) and they often will tell you what they think you want to hear. I.e 'I don't like p o r n'

    OP, I would talk to him about it and discuss how it makes you feel. That's not to say he will stop (my DH hasn't) but as a PP said, I'd rather have him watch p o r n than go and sleep with other women.

    Often for men it's purely for a release. It often has nothin to do with their wives or partners etc.

    I've just learned to 'accept' it. I certainly wouldn't divorce my DH purely for something like this... IMO that's a bit ridiculous. Unless it were something really bad he was watching.
    Last edited by Mod-RaryGirl; 14-12-2012 at 13:02. Reason: trying to prevent the p o r n spammers

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  4. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    Would you think your partner was cheating if he was accepting and enjoying p*rnographic photos from someone he knew IRL?

    What about someone he knew online?

    What about someone who was selling those photos to many men?

    Very blurry lines here.
    My DH goes on a website and watches random p o r n videos sometimes. If he was receiving images from someone he knows IRL then regardless of whether they're p*rnographic or not then of course it's cheating to me. If he knows them, then that changes everything but again this is like comparing apples and rockmelons. He doesn't know any of the women he's watching so no blurry lines there at all.
    Last edited by Mod-RaryGirl; 14-12-2012 at 13:01. Reason: trying to prevent the p o r n spammers

  5. #34
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    Default Re: relationship issues - 30 weeks preg

    Quote Originally Posted by FirstTimeMummy2012 View Post
    Hhmmmm .. I never thought of watching p o r n as cheating. Question then, how do you justify it as cheating if you're not physically with the person and you can't talk to them or touch them? Again, genuine question as I just don't see how someone can consider watching p o r n cheating.

    Of course it's ok if someone feels that p o r n IS cheating. I never said it wasn't. I just can't see how one could possibly compare physically being with a prostitute and having penetration/kissing or whatever else goes on with prostitutes to watching a screen with a guy and a girl or a girl and a girl or whoever getting it on.

    I agree too that if you really feel that strongly about it then yes, you shouldn't have to put up with it. I guess that's why we have choices to walk away from relationships. I just know that if I had walked away from my DH just because he sometimes likes to watch p o r n, I would have allowed the best thing that ever happened to me walk out of my life. Knowing how amazing he is to me and with me, I would have spent the rest of my like gladly kicking my own a$$.
    Simply because it's part of our relationship. Regardless of whether he knows the person or not, it is not ok to be looking at other naked women. Same as its not ok for me. It does compare to us.

    I urge anyone who thinks that porn is harmless to look into the industry. Do some research. It's a real eye opener, there was a thread on here awhile ago that had a link to a YouTube video but I can't find it as I'm on my phone. It changed my whole views on it.

    From day one it's not been ok for DH and myself. But learning about it reaffirmed our thoughts.

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    Last edited by Mod-RaryGirl; 14-12-2012 at 13:00. Reason: trying to prevent the p o r n spammers

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  7. #35
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    Default relationship issues - 30 weeks preg

    Quote Originally Posted by peanutmonkey View Post
    Simply because it's part of our relationship. Regardless of whether he knows the person or not, it is not ok to be looking at other naked women. Same as its not ok for me. It does compare to us.

    I urge anyone who thinks that porn is harmless to look into the industry. Do some research. It's a real eye opener, there was a thread on here awhile ago that had a link to a YouTube video but I can't find it as I'm on my phone. It changed my whole views on it.

    From day one it's not been ok for DH and myself. But learning about it reaffirmed our thoughts.

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using BubHub
    I agree. Not harmless at all.

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    Default Re: relationship issues - 30 weeks preg

    Quote Originally Posted by FirstTimeMummy2012 View Post
    What's there to be surprised about?

    Watching p o r n on your own is one thing and having sex with prostitutes (which then becomes cheating) is a completely different thing all together. It's like comparing apples and rockmelons
    Lol good one :-)

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    Last edited by Mod-RaryGirl; 14-12-2012 at 12:59. Reason: trying to prevent the p o r n spammers

  9. #37
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    Default relationship issues - 30 weeks preg

    I agree with firsttimemum and Alicia

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  11. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by peanutmonkey View Post
    Simply because it's part of our relationship. Regardless of whether he knows the person or not, it is not ok to be looking at other naked women. Same as its not ok for me. It does compare to us.

    I urge anyone who thinks that p o r n is harmless to look into the industry. Do some research. It's a real eye opener, there was a thread on here awhile ago that had a link to a YouTube video but I can't find it as I'm on my phone. It changed my whole views on it.

    From day one it's not been ok for DH and myself. But learning about it reaffirmed our thoughts.

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using BubHub
    Oh I agree that porn can be very harming. My mother is a psychologist and I've heard the stories of her patients where porn ruined them because of obsessions and what not but honestly, I'd rather not watch a video on the porn industry. It would be like watching a video on how they kill chickens or pigs or cows. You'd probably never want to eat it again and to be completely honest, I don't mind me a bit of porn now and then either
    Last edited by Mod-RaryGirl; 14-12-2012 at 12:59. Reason: trying to prevent the p o r n spammers

  12. #39
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    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
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    Default relationship issues - 30 weeks preg

    Quote Originally Posted by FirstTimeMummy2012 View Post
    My DH goes on a website and watches random p o r n videos sometimes. If he was receiving images from someone he knows IRL then regardless of whether they're p*rnographic or not then of course it's cheating to me. If he knows them, then that changes everything but again this is like comparing apples and rockmelons. He doesn't know any of the women he's watching so no blurry lines there at all.
    What if it was an online friend that he hadn't met, just chatted to? How is that really different to receiving photos he pays for?
    Last edited by Mod-RaryGirl; 14-12-2012 at 13:03. Reason: trying to prevent the p o r n spammers

  13. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    What if it was an online friend that he hadn't met, just chatted to? How is that really different to receiving photos he pays for?
    An online friend he hadn't met? Uhm that's still someone he's talking to so not ok. He doesn't talk to the women in the p o r n videos. Oh and my DH doesn't pay for p o r n. Puh-lease! he's an accountant so he'd give up watching p o r n in a heartbeat if he had to pay for it!
    Last edited by Mod-RaryGirl; 14-12-2012 at 13:04. Reason: trying to prevent the p o r n spammers


 
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