It created a sense of "burden" surrounding each visit. Then once he became a teenager, well, that's just awkward.
I can't ever just be myself and lounge around with no bra. I have to adjust my behaviour when he is here which I guess I resent. I resent his "presence" more so than resent him.
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11-12-2012 21:20 #141
Learn your place?
11-12-2012 21:21 #142
11-12-2012 21:44 #143
11-12-2012 21:48 #144Senior Member
Yes, time would make all the difference. ATM SK is a visitor not one of us.
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
11-12-2012 21:54 #145
Learn your place?
Faroutbrusselsprout, I admire your honesty and can totally relate. I find it hard to connect with SK's and we have them 50/50. They were raised completely differently to my own children and had no concept of responsibility or being a member of a family unit. Their personalities grated on me as they were timid and sneaky whereas my children are quick witted and loud, tell you exactly whats going on in their head (sometimes to their own detriment!) Slowly getting there though, but I feel the 'connection' or unconditional love that everyone expects from you will never be there. I used to carry it like a burden but now I just get on with it.
12-12-2012 08:10 #146
12-12-2012 08:30 #147Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
12-12-2012 08:57 #148
At the beginning yes I'd be very angry as she gained my 'family' through cheating with their father so in my opinion she doesn't deserve a family at all considering how little she respected mine. But now, almost 7 years later...I feel pretty indifferent about the whole thing (although I'll always believe she lacks morals and self-respect).
Recently my daughter needed surgery for something and during the doctor's visits I couldn't be there so her step mum was. When I found out she needed surgery I was up at the hospital pretty quick and sat by her bed during the whole ordeal. Anyway one of the doctor's came in and started talking to the stepmum like she was the mum asking if my daughter's immunisations were up to date etc right in front of me. Even called her 'mum'..."So mum, are all J's immunisations up to date?". And to stepmum's credit she redirected the doctor to J's rightful parent and said "I don't know, best to ask her mother, she's right behind you".
Once upon a time this would have made me livid but now....I was like 'meh' easy mistake! Stepmum stepped up to the plate when she was needed and graciously backed off when she wasn't so there's really nothing bad I can say about her. I really believe she loves my children and I firmly believe that the more people who love my kids the better so I don't have any qualms with it. Yes once, I would have been very angry and snippy....not not now. A lot of time has passed, a lot of water under the bridge.
She's still the ***** that helped break up my family but I'm big enough and ugly enough to be a grown up about it and just deal. Can't change things....so may as well accept it. Life is too short to be constantly angry at people, takes up too much precious energy!
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12-12-2012 09:04 #149
12-12-2012 09:14 #150
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