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  1. #11
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    Default What should step-children call extended family?

    DSD calls my parents grandma and grandpa (as that's what my dd has called them), but calls me by name.

    DD calls DF (stepdad) her dad as bio isn't in the picture (her choice as she wanted to be like her step sister and younger brother). She calls his mum and stepdad "nan" and "grand-da" (like the other kids - DF calls his stepdad "da"). She calls his dad and stepmom "grandad" and "gran".

    Then to get even more confusing dsd calls dd's paternal grandparents "nanny" and "poppy" like dd.

    Basically just use all grandparenty names regardless if bio related as just too difficult. Dd originally had her own names for DF's mum and stepdad (we see them often and she nicknamed them hoho and lulu) but chose to just follow the other kids.

  2. #12
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    Default What should step-children call extended family?

    I have a fairly strained and limited relationship with my family so DSS calls them by their first names and I wouldn't expect him to do otherwise. They tend to treat him differently to the others which is one of many reasons I have as little to do with them as possible. In saying that, all of our kids, including DSS have only met them 5 or 6 times and I don't believe any of the kids would know who they were if they seen them down the street.

  3. #13
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    Default Re: What should step-children call extended family?

    My cousins call my grandma "mama" (the little ones do.... though the little ones are now 8-18 year olds lol) and I noticed my uncles step kids have started calling my grandma mama too. But they are engaged and have a baby together (it's a yours, mine & ours family)

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  5. #14
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    I don't think you can have enough grandparents, and if I felt DP's family were worthy of such titles, and everyone (by everyone, I mean DD and them) was comfortable with it, she could call them that quite freely.

    I was introduced to my ex's small niece and nephew as "Aunty." I am the mother of their cousin, but I've actually met them... my ex moved overseas so never has met them. I felt very honoured to be given that title.

    I think it's nice to embrace the idea of family, regardless of biology. You're family if you act like it... sometimes that means your family are not biologically linked to you, and sometimes it means those who ARE biologically linked to you really don't deserve the titles they're given.

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  7. #15
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    Default What should step-children call extended family?

    When i met DH. DD1 was 13mths old. She was quite a talker and started calling his parents by their first names.
    Fast forward 18mths and we got engaged and i fell preg so we suggested she call the grandma & pop. Took her a few months to get used to it but she did.

    I guess what im saying is if you feel weird about it theres no rush, you can always change what she calls them later when you do get engaged/married.

  8. #16
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    Hahahaha. DP's mother is actually 20 years younger then her husband, so DP's eldest half brother is about six years younger then his step mother... DP is the youngest of seven, and I'm a bit younger then him... I've taken it for granted that the older nephew's won't be calling me Aunty since they're my age!

    I think perhaps I'm weirded out because my grandparents were all long dead before I was born, and I wonder how it would make my parents feel. But, screw them. It's my problem, not mine, if my mother doesn't talk to DP for 10 days out of a 14 day stay with us

    Reading over your expirences had made me think. MIL and I are very "our" people. I don't want DD to be different to her future siblings. She's only 2.5, so I can't really discuss it with her. I guess I'm scared of jinxing myself, by moving on in with a family before it's official, you know?

  9. #17
    brydz is offline blessed with everyone amazing in my life
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    There is no right or wrong.

    Mr v who is 2 has known my partners parents for the last 10 months and only about 2 months ago started calling them by any name. And he chose nan and pop all by himself. That's what the older kids call them and he obviously felt like he should be no different.

    The big kids mr L and miss S were introduced to my mum by her first name and were given the choice to call her by her first name or Nanny (last name).
    They tend to alternate between the two.

    And their mother has a new partner also and they refer to his mother as either Nanny (first name) or Aunty ( first name).

  10. #18
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    Default Re: What should step-children call extended family?

    I call my step Dad's brother uncles, and my step sister's boys will call me aunty. My DSD calls my stepsisters, brother and sister aunty and uncle, my parents are Nanny poppy and granddad. She is about a yr and a half older than my oldest nephew so they will all grow up together. It wasn't even my idea to call my family that, it was DP's. And my DSD calls me mummy *first name* only because she couldn't get her head around the fact that I wasn't mummy and I felt more comfortable with that than mummy. At first we would correct her, but we try and make sure she puts my name in it too. And she calls her mums partner daddy *first name* because she has a younger brother and sister there.

    In all honesty, it doesn't matter what they call someone, just so long as everyone is comfortable with it.

    And on a side not, I called my God parents parents nan, pop etc. its what we were all happy with

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