My friends daughters father committed suicide... how on earth can you help a child get through this? I am in shock...
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27-11-2012 10:50 #1Junior Member
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- Nov 2012
Last edited by soshort; 27-11-2012 at 11:14. Reason: cant think straight...
27-11-2012 10:54 #2
oh hun. no advice - just its so hard
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27-11-2012 10:55 #3
DD's cousin's father committed suicide, so those girls have been without a dad for quite some time.
I think counselling is pretty much the only thing that may help... and time. Counselling for the children and for your friend... even if she doesn't care too much about it, she'll need to be able to get help with how to deal with her child in regards to it.
Time is probably something that somewhat helps as well...
(Of course it depends how old the kid is... a 2-year-old perhaps wont benefit from counselling... but probably will in the future. Your friend should seek it out for herself regardless).
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27-11-2012 10:58 #4
My exbf from high schools father committed suicide when she was 10, apparently the police pulled her out of school class and told her, then took her home she received no counselling but was a well adjusted teenager fortunately, I can't imagine the devastation
27-11-2012 10:58 #5Junior Member
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- Nov 2012
She is 10 - and her dad was the world to her, her mother and father were very close it just didnt work out for them... I have booked them in to see a councellor this afternoon... It is just a complete shock and complete and utter tragedy,...
27-11-2012 11:30 #6
My adopted brothers cousin's dad committed suicide in there family home The cousin had autism and his father was his only rock. He walked in and found him. He has never been the same I think its so sad, poor boy.
I'm not sure what the family has done as we don't have contact with them. But as others have suggested counseling is best, reassurance, maybe get her a diary so she can write down her feelings when she is ready. I'm so sorry to hear about your situation but I believe some people do these things because they feel they don't see any other way out GBH
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27-11-2012 11:33 #7
I hope the councelling helps. This will be something that the child has to deal with for the rest of her life. My father died of cancer when I was 11, I didnt grieve for him until 29 years later. I was sad and I cried , and guess I missed him a few times, but I didnt actually grieve for him until much later. hugs to everyone. so sad, and such a huge thing for a child to go through. Marie.
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27-11-2012 11:41 #8
My dps dad killed himself (overdose) when my dp was 5. He doesn't talk about it much but I'm sure he missed not having a dad. He had a rough childhood but he is the most loving, amazing man and is looking forward to our bubs arrival.
I hope your friend and her daughter will be ok xx
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27-11-2012 12:05 #9
My aunty committed suicide quite a few years ago now.
Her son came home from school and found her, he also had his 3yo half sister with him, he was 12 at the time.
He mustn't have known what to do, was in shock.. Horror.. Denial I'm not to sure but he left her where she took her life for a few days, he looked after the 3yo himself and it wasn't until another family member came over after they had received a call from the school that it all can out that she had hung herself.
I'm can't even begin to imagine how traumatic that must of been for the children.
They were both put into counseling immediately, my other aunty has raised them and she has put a lot of effort into counseling and helping the children.
The Aunty who took her life was addicted to meth and would quite often be known to have many men in her home, mostly for money or for meth.
She owed a lot of people money over the addiction and we think that had something to do with her decision.
She had a shocking childhood and grew up separately from her sisters and brothers in a different home, she went through many years of sexual assault
Her children are now coping much better and the counseling has most defiantly helped them.
.Edited some spelling mistakes.
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27-11-2012 12:22 #10
That's good that your taking your friend to counselling, it really is one of the best ways to deal with such a tragedy for kids and adults..
My ex fiance commited suicide by gassing himself in his car, we had just split up and he wasnt dealing well with it...He left behind our 10 month old little boy who is now about to turn 10, Knows his dad is in heaven but doesnt know how it happened, and he wont know until I know he's ready and can understand...He gets quite upset on fathers day or special events/when kids at school talk about their dad's etc but copes ok so far..
I fought against my emotions and avoided counselling for years and it is the biggest mistake I made as I needed to let it all out and speak to a stranger about it that could help me deal with it... Also letting the child express themselves as they deal with it helps too, you cant let the child bottle it up, it makes for a very messed up teen (I've seen it happen sadly )
My son visits his dad's grave and "tells" him all about whats happening, we light a candle on his anniversary and we let helium balloons off on fathers day with messages written on them...It really makes a difference...I hope my story can help you help your friend a little...good luck
ps. there are also lots of forums for grieving after suicide that she can join, lots of helpfull people there for support and advice
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