She's gotten teased about the leg hair - I got that too, so I know I'm probably going to let her remove that if it becomes a bigger issue than it currently is.
She's freckly too, but ADORES her freckles, which is good. There's just a cute little smattering of them over her cheeks and nose, but she likes them and often picks out dolls with freckles because she likes them. I'm so glad that these are not an issue.
The little girl down the road took a few days off school recently because the bullying was getting so bad for her... other little girls convincing her that she is really ugly. Other kids can be so so mean.
I kind of don't want to encourage her to believe what they say by saying, "Okay then, we'll just fix that..." cos that's just suggesting they're right with their teasing and taunts... but at the same time, don't want to brush it off like it's nothing, because it can be a really big deal when you're little. I hated that it took a long time for my parents to not say, "just ignore them," when I'd cry about people teasing my hairy legs, so am trying to find some sort of middle ground... which is pretty much impossible. lol.
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26-11-2012 12:57 #21
26-11-2012 13:00 #22Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
God, kids really can suck can't they? Are boys like this with other boys too or is it mostly girls teasing other girls?
26-11-2012 13:11 #23
I personally wouldn't have done it and would have explained that make up is for adults but I think it's great how you are with your daughter. No judgement here. Obviously your intention was to help give your daughter more confidence or what not, so who can fault you for that?
26-11-2012 13:19 #24
Personally I wouldn't do it, but I don't even own concealer so it probably wouldn't be an option anyway! I do think it's important that you didn't dismiss her concerns. I was teased for being fat and having hairy legs, and all sorts of other things, as a kid. My mother kind of turned a blind eye, I wish she had done something (although what she could have done I have absolutely no idea).
26-11-2012 13:47 #25
Gosh at 7 they are being so cruel? Im surprised as neither of my girls have ever been picked on for their looks. Other things, sure, but not their looks. It worries me alot that girls at such a young age are being made to feel so self concious. Personally, Id be talking to the school and the teacher and asking them to discuss bullying and self acceptance and how beautiful comes in many different ways.
I also would be VERY worried that as you have done it once, it will now become an always. You did it once, so why wont you do it again for me? Type scenario. If it was for a special occasion, then sure, no worries, but if it wasnt, then she may become confused.
That said, I dont judge you, as I have done similar before too, we do what we think is best at the time, you did nothing wrong.
Please do speak to the school though as it sounds like there is a nasty bullying culture there and these little girls are copping it.
26-11-2012 13:53 #26Wanting to add a new squeegee to the family
- Join Date
- Mar 2007
Sassy...I think you're a great mum.
At 7 girls (esp ones with big sisters) can be uber conscious of looks and have no fear of making comments or the effect those comments have.
I like the idea that you're searching for a middle ground.
I too wonder about food intolerance. My nephew's dark circle were worse when he had eaten gluten or wheat and there was a cumulative effect (didn't happen instantly but did happen the more he ate of those foods).
Having said that...keep going with what you're doing...you're the mummy...you know best
26-11-2012 13:58 #27
Putting concealer on a small child... wrong or acceptable?
I think a situation like yours with your DD it's fine
26-11-2012 14:03 #28
26-11-2012 14:06 #29
I don't think it was wrong, as like anything you need to know the context in which it was done.
I have always had dark circles under my eyes (it's hereditary) and as I got to about grade 6 onwards, class mates were starting to notice and would ask me was I 'sick' or 'tired' or what had happened to me. It didn't bother me too much, but as I got to high school 'I' started to notice the dark circles and how they made me look tired/un well etc, so I started to use concealer and still do to this day.
My eldest daughter is 6 and has seen me put concealer on and asked me why I do, to which I have honestly answered her and she has in turn asked me does she need it too. If it comes up again in the future when she's older, I will use it as an opportunity to talk about beauty image/self esteem issues and how although make up can 'help' it's not always the answer or the right thing to do.
I do hope that I will be more empathetic to those sorts of feelings and validate her concerns if and when they will arise in the future, as I feel my Mum never really took those sorts of things as a serious cause of concern whilst I was at School.
26-11-2012 14:16 #30
Not something I would do but I don't wear make-up myself. I agree with a lot of what Deserama has said. Thankfully I have a few years up my sleeve before I have to worry about this!
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