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  1. #31
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    I have cut ties with him - I have no interest in playing happy families, I do however include him in events and he is happy to attend (but his partner not so much and it seems she's putting the pressure on).

    As it turns out I am a prat and got it wrong! Just picked up DS and the girls told me they got it wrong and the Christmas party is the following day! So he wasn't lying afterall! Phew!

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  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackEyedPea View Post
    I have cut ties with him - I have no interest in playing happy families, I do however include him in events and he is happy to attend (but his partner not so much and it seems she's putting the pressure on).

    As it turns out I am a prat and got it wrong! Just picked up DS and the girls told me they got it wrong and the Christmas party is the following day! So he wasn't lying afterall! Phew!
    Glad it worked out. I wasnt implying you were wanting to play family sorry if it came across that way.

  4. #33
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    No probs, I got what you were saying.

    I am quite sensitive about these things. I just really don't want DS to ever feel divided between parents/families as I hated it as a kid. I never planned for life to turn out this way but it has and so I want DS to have as normal a childhood as possible, with parents who always put his happiness first and who treat each other with respect. It's hard though for me at times. One little thing brings up the past and I get angry at exDP. He gets it. He understands he was a complete tool, which helps.

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  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    He wouldn't be able to organise a sha.g in a brot.hel though so if he organised a party for her I'd be really keen to go and see what he managed to do - my guess would be no one would turn up because he wouldn't know how to go about inviting people
    How did you two ever procreate?

    Sorry very inappropriate question!!

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  8. #35
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    Default Is it ok for a non-custodial parent to exclude the custodial parent from events?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackEyedPea View Post
    How did you two ever procreate?

    Sorry very inappropriate question!!
    Lol I had to plan and organise the whole thing!

  9. #36
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    Hahahahaha

  10. #37
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    Default Is it ok for a non-custodial parent to exclude the custodial parent from events?

    I tried inviting my ex to a birthday party once. He was sullen and rude to everyone and made it clear he didn't want to be there, so never again. DHs ex invited us to DSDs birthday twice. It was before everything got as bad as it is now but both times I went I was horrifically uncomfortable, she was rude to me and DH and I'd never put myself through it again. At one of them, all her family were there and they all made a point of ignoring me and giving me filthy looks, all for the crime of going out with her ex, as if I had something to do with their break up?!

    So no, we celebrate separately and the kids are fine with that.

  11. #38
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    Default Is it ok for a non-custodial parent to exclude the custodial parent from events?

    Yeah, it sucks but I get it. I guess that's why DS's dad doesn't bring his partner along or she choses not to come along. It's definitely for the best in our situation. He used to bring his other son over for a play and hang out for hours here when she was at work - so i would get chores done or just have a rest - but that's pretty much come to a stop too now. It's cool, i understand, but if he stops attending birthday parties or important events I will be quite upset with him and for DS. I like the fact he keeps his life with her separate to us (ive never actually met her yet!), but I realise it can't go on forever. It's not about jealousy (god no I have much higher standards in men now) its about what she did to me.

  12. #39
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    Default Is it ok for a non-custodial parent to exclude the custodial parent from events?

    I guess people like the idea of attending joint events for the kids, but in a lot of cases it's just not a good idea and the kids are much better off not having to put up with the stress of it.

  13. #40
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    Default Is it ok for a non-custodial parent to exclude the custodial parent from events?

    An invite to the Custodial would be much more acceptable but I can't imagine ever asking a non custodial for permission...

    It would be dodgy if the custodial was organising something and the non custodial knew but just went and held their own. Not just for the people they knew but like invited the whole class so it looks stupid when the kid is giving out two party invites to every friend...

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