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  1. #1
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    Default Is it ok for a non-custodial parent to exclude the custodial parent from events?

    For example, non-custodial parent goes behind custodial parent's back and organises a birthday party for the child - say for example when you decide not to do anything big this year - and doesn't confer with/invite custodial parent? Keeps it secret from the other parent?

    Is this perfectly acceptable, or seriously wrong?

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    My vote goes to acceptable. The less I have to deal with my son's father, the better. I don't consult him either when we do things with/for DS.

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    Default Is it ok for a non-custodial parent to exclude the custodial parent from events?

    I didn't tell ex that I was giving child a birthday party this year. He has turned up to last few and completely monopolised child and refused to let anyone else even go near him. This years party was all about child and making sure he had an awesome party after a crap year. Plus I wanted him to have a chance to play with his friends.

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    Seriously wrong.

    ETA - I guess it depends on the relationship between the parents and how they normally communicate. DD's Dad would never dream of doing something like that without discussing it with me.
    Last edited by shelle65; 22-11-2012 at 14:28.

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    Default Re: Is it ok for a non-custodial parent to exclude the custodial parent from events?

    I certainly wouldn't expect to be a part of what my ex husband does.

    He's made it clear in the past that I have no right to even ask to know, let alone have input or control. I wouldn't want to stop him either

    Spent from my dome. Excuse autocorrect

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    PomPoms  (22-11-2012)

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    I don't tell my ex what I am doing with the children. He obviously knows about school occasions eg discos, award ceremonies. But as for private celebrations not any of his business, just like I don't want to have anything to do with celebrations he has with the children.

    So I guess I think it is acceptable.

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    HugsBunny  (22-11-2012)

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    In my own personal situation, we have celebrated together for birthdays (only 2 so far) as we both feel it's totally juvenile to arrange separate parties simply because we can't be adult enough to come together for DS's sake.... But his partner do far hasn't come along. Now that he has another toddler though he is starting to become deceitful/secretive about organising events fir DS with his new family and excluding me. For example, childcare Christmas party.

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    Acceptable. I dont advise/include/invite ex to anything i organise for DS and i wouldnt expect him to either.

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    I'd love to have a functional co-parenting relationship with my ex, it just fails though. There was DV involved, and he still verbally abuses me (in front of DS - mostly name calling and taunting) when we see each other. It just doesn't work. DP can't be around him without wanting to punch things.

    He very rarely makes the effort to do things with DS but he does have him a handful of times per year to take him to see his mum for special events and what they do I just find out about from DS after the fact, I don't want to discuss things with XDP.

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    I guess acceptable but I would have trouble letting go of that control. For example, parties = sugar, sugar = hyped up children, hyped up children = unruley bahaviour just when you had organised a quiet night in with movies. I don't do well with things not going to plan.


 

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