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  1. #21
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    Default Do you feel angry/upset at missing out on natural birth?

    The doctor I saw when I went in said I would be signing my baby's life away if I didn't agree to be induced. Which turned out to be bs. Which is what my instinct told me at the time. Wish I had listened to me and not her.

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    SassyMummy  (19-11-2012)

  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bulbasaur View Post
    I get a little upset when some ladies get so upset. I know a lot of ladies really want a vb but if the bubba comes out safely I think that is all that matters. No offence to anyone, just my opinions.
    That quote really doesn't help people. I know you weren't trying to be hurtful with it, but it's about as helpful as saying, "It just wasn't mean to be..." when a woman has a miscarriage or something.

    For some, the actual experience is important to. It may not be to you, but it can be to many other women. It doesn't mean we're ungrateful for the healthy baby, but we wanted MORE than just good health. We wanted an experience we could look back on fondly... one that we had, for whatever reason, looked forward to.

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    Annabella  (19-11-2012),Bulbasaur  (19-11-2012)

  5. #23
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    I feel sad when I think of my last babes birth - an emergency c-section @ 31 weeks - I feel sad about what we both missed out on. With my two others who were born vaginally, I had skin to skin, milky cuddles - I just breathed them in and they nuzzled into me for hours. I physically felt so good.

    I'm so thankful that we are here and well and happy, but I'll always feel a tinge of sadness and that's ok.

  6. #24
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    I felt cheated that I didn't get a natural & seemingly easy birth 1st time around. I was induced which took forever and had a failed epidural (so had a 2nd one), then a 3rd degree tear and my ds stopped breathing a minute after birth. I was then stuck in delivery for 4 hours unable to move my legs enough to get into a wheelchair to go & see my baby in special care. I wanted it different 2nd time around.

    2nd time around I tried really hard to delay induction (due to gestational diabetes & a big baby) and even ended up in hospital with possible early labour that went nowhere. I was active and avoiding an epidural for a lot longer in my 2nd labour and then finally had to have one cause the pain was SO bad but by then I was quite happy to go down that route cause I'd tried & that was what I wanted ... to try. And then thankfully I had the epidural cause my dd got a teeny bit stuck and needed forceps to get her out (she broke her collar bone ... yep, too big!). But I was up & in the shower an hour after delivery and my dd was well (her collar bone wasn't a major issue thankfully). After that delivery although far from a 'true natural delivery' gave me closure from the 1st time and I don't feel there was anything I could have done differently to make it better ... except maybe going for an earlier induction when she wasn't so big.

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    Default Do you feel angry/upset at missing out on natural birth?

    I completely understand how you're feeling.

    I thought I'd go with the flow but like some other pp really was hoping to avoid a cs and really believed I could naturally birth.

    I ended up with an unscheduled cs after a spontaneous labour and 1.5hrs of pushing. Basically the opening to my pelvis is too small and so DS couldn't exit my pelvis even though I was fully dilated.

    At the time I was just happy to have my healthy boy and still am.

    However in the weeks/months after the birth I started feeling really inadequate as a mother and like I failed whenever I heard others talk about their vaginal deliveries (even those that weren't completely natural).

    It has taken time but I can honestly say that now I am at peace with it all, I am proud of how I laboured, that I was drug free until the cs and felt like I was handling things well that whole time, more than what I'd expected from myself!

    I will have to have a cs next time and I am fine with that now.

    I guess my long winded point is, it's common and ok to feel unhappy about how your birth went but that with time hopefully you will be less bothered by it and eventually it may not matter to you at all.

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    Last edited by lolly137; 17-09-2015 at 19:40.

  9. #27
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    Default Do you feel angry/upset at missing out on natural birth?

    Quote Originally Posted by lolly137 View Post
    I dislike the way I am looked down upon and glossed over by other women (and some men) because "I'm not a real woman/mother because I didn't birth the way God intended"
    4 cs?!

    You are more woman and mother than most to go through that kind of major surgery 4 x and then manage a newborn straight afterwards!! 👍

  10. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by lolly137 View Post
    ...when it comes up that I never got any of that nor any labour (body never went into labour even at 41 weeks)...
    I only wanted to comment on this bit but firstly wanted to say that I'm so sorry you've been made to feel like anything less of a woman because you've had 4 CSs. Back to the quoted bit, technically a baby isn't 'overdue' until 42 weeks. There are also other factors to consider such as length of mother's cycle. Many HCPs assume a 28 day cycle but a longer cycle will generally mean a longer gestation (well, the due date will be pushed out a few days to accommodate the length of cycle). I had no signs of labour with my DS and he was induced at 42+2. My DD was born (spontaneous) at 41+3. There's even whole bunch of woman who have 10 month pregnancies (my heart goes out to them!!).

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    Default Do you feel angry/upset at missing out on natural birth?

    My birth story is similar to OP.

    I was induced (due to water breaking but no regular contractions after 24 hours, just lots of 10 minute to 1 hour random contractions). I wanted to try and go without drugs for as long as possible but being induced, the drip was turned up every 30 minutes and I could t handle it. I started with the gas but couldn't get it to work. I was in agony and eventually got an epidural. My contractions were 1-3 minutes for ages but I wasn't progressing, the babies heart dipped during contractions, and there was meconium in the water. I was whisked off for an emergency c section.

    On the operating table, I was given a spinal and then they were ready to cut. At the last minute they realised they forgot to take off the baby's heart monitor from his head. That's when they saw I had dilated 4cm in an hour. So I was ready to push!

    I ended up with a forceps delivery, lots if tearing (wasn't told how many degrees) inside and out.

    After all that I loved my birth experience. I wanted to go natural at the start but after it was all said and done I realised I ended up with the best option of not feeling a thing! I kinda feel like I cheated my way but I loved it.

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    Default Do you feel angry/upset at missing out on natural birth?

    Nope. I had a crash c section under a general to save me and my babies life. No anger about missing out on a natural birth whatsoever.


 

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