I understand where you are coming from Dp gets really upset when he thinks about the time he has with dsd, he loves his daughter so much, has had her one night a week and every second weekend since BM left him 5.5 years ago (two nights a week at one point)
He pays a large amount of money in csa and it sucks. Not because he has to pay the money but because he would pay 10x that amount if he could have her full time. He didn't ask for BM to 'fall in love' with one of His best friends and up and leave. Taking his daughter and creating a separateness from him and her that is unbearable. He would never not pay CSA for dsd, it's what is right. He looks forward to the day that she is old enough to make her own choices about where she lives though
Results 41 to 50 of 158
17-11-2012 19:49 #41
17-11-2012 19:49 #42
Thanks Jacois. I just think its a terrible situation, outside his control mostly. I just don't get how she can dictate absolutely everything despite the child loving both parents equally and wanting to spend time equally. Our only hope is wait a couple of years until SS can express his opinion and he is old enough for consideration to be given to that. I just hope it's not too late.
17-11-2012 19:50 #43
17-11-2012 19:53 #44
The care arrangements that you mentioned are what we have and unfortunately both parents agreed in addition to the counsellor that the counselljng is not doing any good.
17-11-2012 19:53 #45
17-11-2012 19:57 #46Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
Although this is a step parent/blended family area I often see replies that appear to be more from people outside of this situation.
You have a point that society generally does believe the child is better with the mother at all cost. Dads do not get a fair deal at all.
If you have court orders usually it says that parental responsibility is shared equally between BOTH parents. Women in particular don't often remember this ( myself also ) & men can tend to turn a blind eye to this.
Going back to mediation is your only option. Factors like the mother moving often & lack of stability preventing 50/50 care can be discussed here. We are also in a situation where BM moves often. We had talked about moving closer but we safely assume she would likely then move.
Get lawyers advice & do everything by the book. DO NOT stop paying cs, I do not agree with that under any circumstance. Keep written records of everything, it does come in handy.
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Bunny Lover (17-11-2012)
17-11-2012 20:03 #47
I think Dad should have sorted this well before now, when the arrangement went from 50/50, I can get my back up with some of these threads because so often dads seem to be all talk and no action, it sounds like this situation needed urgent action when the child was moved.
17-11-2012 20:03 #48
17-11-2012 20:05 #49
17-11-2012 20:16 #50
But to do nothing is leaving them in this situation and not only that, has set a precedent for what was expected from both parents. She changed something that was fundamental to him and he let her.
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