I have waxed and waned on this since having DD1 7 and a bit years ago. After DD1 and then again after DD2 I returned 3 days a week 8 til 5. It certainly was easier to manage when they were at childcare as they could stay there til 6 and while the dinner bath bedlam wasn't fun, it was so much easier than negotiating the whole school thing.
I now work 2 days a week in house and start around 930 and end in time to pick the kids up from school and preschool. DS1 has a nanny those days. Although my contact hours are shorter I have to do work at night or on the weekend when I can fit it in.
It's a long winded way of saying I'm not sure whether I'm better for working. I feel so tired some weeks from juggling 3 kids, work, after school activities, meals etc that I feel like throwing it in. But then when I'm at work I enjoy the actual work and feeling like something more than just "mum". Don't get me wrong I love being mum but I need more. That's just me and not a reflection on anyone else.
I think it also depends on the nature of your kids. DD1 is a very social easy going kid who fits in anywhere, and DS is shaping into the same. DD2 is clingy, extremely shy, tends to be very whiny, tires easily, and doesn't adapt to change very well. So for me if I only had kids with easy going natures work would be a breeze, but because I don't it's harder.
+ Reply to Thread
Results 11 to 18 of 18
11-11-2012 09:59 #11
The Following User Says Thank You to Sonja For This Useful Post:
11-11-2012 11:26 #12
Thanks for your replies
Im home ATM and due to go back 3 days pw in feb when ds2 turns 1. I'm loving being home but sometimes am bored and lose motivation when it comes to following a routine and the days end up rolling into each other.
I'm kind of looking forward to the 3 day break from home and am hoping to be more refreshed on the days I'm with the boys.
I will have a cleaner fortnightly to help too which will make a huge difference!
The Following User Says Thank You to 2BlueBirds For This Useful Post:
11-11-2012 11:48 #13
11-11-2012 12:21 #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
I work 3 days a fortnight and this is an ideal balance for me. It's nice to have a breather and a bit of a break from DD. DD is with her dad on those days and also comes down to me for feeds 3 times a day. So I see her every 1 1/2-2 hours anyway.
11-11-2012 12:53 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
Part-time mummies (in the workforce)
Both yes and no here. It changed over time.
I went back 2 days per week when DS was 13 mths. I found it was good for both of us. Me to get a break from being at someones beck and call 24 - 7, and for him to know there were other people he could trust and rely upon.
Fast forward 20 odd months and baby 2 on the way, i was too grumpy, tired and stressed to give him my best on my days off. Just finished work last week and feeling like a much better.
11-11-2012 13:13 #16
Part-time mummies (in the workforce)
I work 3 days per week. On Mondays I finish at 3pm so I can pick up DD from daycare by 5 (work is a 1hr40min commute each way) and on the other 2 days I work from 8:30/9am to about 6pm. DH does the daycare pick-ups on those days.
It's definitely a juggle, especially when DD gets sick as we don't have family close by to help on short notice. I do however feel better working than I did when I was at home full time. Going back to work was part of my recovery strategy when I was struggling with PND.
I'm not sure what I'll do when we have #2. We're TTC at the moment so we'll see how that goes before I worry too much about it.
To answer the question, yes I do think I'm a better mum in some ways (happier, providing more financial security, making more effort for 'quality time' etc) but I'm sure in other ways working makes me less than ideal (more tired, not there for her 100% of the time, less time for activities).
I think you need to look at the whole family though and what situation creates the best possible family environment. It's not about just being the best possible mum or best possible dad or whatever - you have to do what works for everyone and brings the best out of the whole family. Maybe a little utopian but it's worth a try!
The Following User Says Thank You to Cue For This Useful Post:
11-11-2012 17:37 #17
Looking back I would try and have at least one of the home days a quiet day where no one needs to do anything; where the most stressful task is a quick fly around the shops to pick up milk or bread.
One of the things I have really valued being a SAHM for the past 2 years is that I got "good" at being at home with the kids. I don't stress over whether every little thing they're doing is educational, or will make them better people. I know my kids well enough now to know the bigger picture, and to not sweat the small stuff.
And that's what makes me a better mum.
11-11-2012 19:11 #18
Yep for ME I am a much better Mum when I am at work. I miss my kids like mad and can't wait to be with them but the mental stimulation, being around adults, having a hot coffee and even time to make phone calls without little people trying to be involved is my breath of fresh air. Like a PP said, I used to get into a rut too, the days just seemed to blend into each other and I was sick of it all. Yes the money is helpful but it's the benefit to me and ultimately my kids that is the best part for us.
Last edited by ICanDream; 11-11-2012 at 19:14.
By ThisIsLiving in forum Working Hubbers - EmployedReplies: 2Last Post: 17-08-2012, 20:58
By Ready To Run in forum Working Hubbers - EmployedReplies: 5Last Post: 19-06-2012, 19:22
SoftmatsSoftmats specialises in safe, non-toxic, and durable play mats. The international Premium Dwinguler™ Play Mats and ...
LATESTToilet training: when is the best time to start?Why it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Funniest thing your kid has said to youGeneral Chat
Menevit versus Blackmores Conceive Well MenConception & Fertility General Chat
Separation anxiety at daycare - 20 month oldToddlers (1 year olds)
Suspected endometriosis with no symptoms?Endometriosis Chat
April/May TTC group chatConception & Fertility General Chat
IVF babies due Sep/Oct/Nov 2017pregnancy and babies through IVF
Growth Of Intellection. Discussion?General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
What is going on!?Conception & Fertility General Chat