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  1. #11
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    Congratulations!

    His response is well within the realms of normal. When I found out I was having twins, I cried for months. Yes, months. I mourned a lot of things Mum's can do with a singleton newborn that we (my hypothetical one baby and I) would never get to- and especially that special bond.

    You can search my posts on BH, I'm sure I wrote about it a lot.

    Whilst I am not saying your DH is going through the exact same thing I did, I am saying that the shock can be huge- huge enough to push you to your limits.

    As others have said, give him time. He'll come around. By the time they're born hopefully he'll love them as much as you do (but there is every chance he will still be adjusting and that's ok too)

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Your hubby needs to grow up. He wants a kid, has IVF but cracks up when multiples are announced? Really?

    And he tries to push the blame on you? His penis, his sperm ffs.

    If it were me I'd tell him to grow up and get over his little dummy spit quick smart.

    Btw congrats mumma!
    Just wanted to say- this is not helpful. You can't tell someone a huge shock like 'congrats it's twins' and just expect 100% of the people to jump for joy. Reactions can vary, as like I mentioned above. I'm sure my reaction was not what most people were expecting, but I can't help the way I was feeling at the time. I was seriously going through a period of grief and mourning. Just because he is not overjoyed it's twins, doesn't mean he is being immature.
    Last edited by Mod-Nomsie; 08-11-2012 at 20:04. Reason: typo

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  3. #12
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    Default DH is upset about having twin

    Could they be identical? Then they both could be from the one egg.....

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  5. #13
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    Lovely

    You know what- these things happen ALL. THE. TIME.

    He'll soon realise it was very unfair to blame it on you
    Last edited by Mod-Nomsie; 08-11-2012 at 20:31.

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    Default DH is upset about having twin

    Congrats! They look wonderful. I hope hubby gets over his case of cracking the poopies soon, so you can both enjoy them!!

  7. #15
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    Just thinking- there was definitely just one put back during IVF? No chance of two being put back in?

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    Default DH is upset about having twin

    Quote Originally Posted by Nomsie View Post
    Congratulations!

    His response is well within the realms of normal. When I found out I was having twins, I cried for months. Yes, months. I mourned a lot of things Mum's can do with a singleton newborn that we (my hypothetical one baby and I) would never get to- and especially that special bond.

    You can search my posts on BH, I'm sure I wrote about it a lot.

    Whilst I am not saying your DH is going through the exact same thing I did, I am saying that the shock can be huge- huge enough to push you to your limits.

    As others have said, give him time. He'll come around. By the time they're born hopefully he'll love them as much as you do (but there is every chance he will still be adjusting and that's ok too)



    Just wanted to say- this is not helpful. You can't tell someone a huge shock like 'congrats it's twins' and just expect 100% of the people to jump for joy. Reactions can vary, as like I mentioned above. I'm sure my reaction was not what most people were expecting, but I can't help the way I was feeling at the time. I was seriously going through a period of grief and mourning. Just because he is not overjoyed it's twins, doesn't mean he is being immature.



    Nomsie: how do you handle two babies cry at the same time? Was you breast feed or bottle?
    I'm stressing as much as he does but I try to hold myself together and be positive. And he said " you probably have no idea how serious this is. We are in deep sh*t" so wanna punch him in the face lol
    How do I don't know how hard it would be?! I will be the one who waking up to breast feed them!! Not him!

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    Default DH is upset about having twins

    I only have one egg left so yeh we only put one back in l
    imagine if I were put 2 back n conceive another one natural.... Triplet??? Lol
    Last edited by Babymiracle; 08-11-2012 at 20:24.

  10. #18
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    I can answer all of your questions with what worked best for me, but you may prefer a lot of different answers- asking those of us who KNOW what it's like in the multiples section of the forum is a great idea.

    Firstly- two crying babies? It's why we have two arms. HOM's and you would be in deep sh!t. Twins = really not that bad.
    022 CIMG2269.jpg

    This photo is me looking like crap, but don't focus on that. My boys are 2 weeks old. I look uncomfortable holding them both. I was inexperienced with little babies, but what better way to learn than to be thrown in the deep end with twins? What you can't see is me 1 week later, dealing with both like a pro.

    I breastfed- it was a personal choice, I was determined to do it, and where I lived at the time access to LC's was free (and highly important. My Mum also bought me a 12 month subscription to the ABA )

    Don't stress!
    See those things behind me? God sends. We had one electric swing, and one vibrating bouncer- we figured they must like at least one. The bouncer won, and it was a GODSEND. One in the bouncer, being bounced with my foot, the other in arms, swap after a while. You will naturally feel things like guilt if you cuddle one for too long- you will feel as though you are neglecting the other. It's not like that at all in reality though, and you can move past those emotions.
    My bouncer was also critical in helping me set the boys up for a BF, especially at night. I had it sitting in front of the couch, facing me. I would get one baby out, put him in the bouncer and go back for the other. I would strap my BF pillow around my waist, grab the other baby and go and sit on the couch facing the boy in the bouncer. I would keep the second baby in my arms, and reach forward and pull first baby out of the bouncer. Then it was easy to attach both to the breast and drift off into a doze whilst they fed. Then reverse the process to put them back to bed.

    ETA: just noticed that's NOT the vibrating bouncer (we had a Bright Stars one from Big W)- it was awesome.

    And also.. my god I look so YOUNG and so sososososososososo TIRED!! lol- but there's no hiding that. Good sleeping babies are rare. Good sleeping baby twins are a myth. (But time passes and so will the baby stage before you know it. Mine passed in a blur and I don't have memories from their first year- so try not to waste that first year, even if you rarely sleep!)
    Last edited by Mod-Nomsie; 08-11-2012 at 20:28.

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    Default DH is upset about having twins

    *Hugs*
    When I fell pregnant FOB got mad like your DH and said it was all my fault and wouldn't let me tell anyone at first.
    Then we found out it was twins and similar reaction. Won't go into it because it didn't have a good ending but that was to do with other issues as well.

    BUT I just want to add that whilst extremely challenging it's very exciting and rewarding having twins.
    I'm sure he'll come around, congratulations

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    Default DH is upset about having twins

    It's great there are other people here who know what you are going through! Lots of great suggestions for things I have never even had to think about. All the best to you and hubbie for the future.


 

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