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  1. #1
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    Default How do we get that first go on the toilet with our DD?

    Hello,

    I'm looking for some wise advice from parents who've been here before...

    Our little girl has just turned three. We are also expecting a new Bub in December (Boxing Day!). She ticks all the boxes for signs of toilet training:
    - happy to wear undies and nappy-pants -> doesn't really like the old nappies anymore.
    - is happy to sit on the toilet
    - hides or seems bashful if doing a #2
    - will ask for her nappy to be changed most times - wet and soiled
    - quite capable at dressing / undressing
    - follows instructions very well (for a toddler, anyway!)
    BUT... we just can't seem to get her to actually 'go' on the toilet.

    She attends day care four days a week as both hubby and I work full time. I work from home with her on the 5th day. Day care have been great and are encouraging the toilet, also.

    I have been told to skip the potty, given that we have the toilet at home AND at day care and the potty is just an extra step to have to train away from.

    I don't want to completely force the issue as my experience with my little girl in trying to force the next stage of anything new has always backfired and let to more stress and heartache than it's worth eg. giving up high chair, giving up breastfeeding etc. She just gives things up when she's really ready to do it, so I would like to follow the same line with toilet training, but having just turned 3 two weeks ago, I feel we should be trying to progress a bit more.

    I tried to reward her last week if she went but this didn't go anywhere. She said she wanted to go to the toilet, so we put her on it, and she was great and sat there for quite some time and we could hear 'noises', but nothing happened. Within about 5-10 minutes of putting her nappy on, she'd done a #2. We kept encouraging her the whole time and just worked with her on what she want as she wanted the door shut for a while. I am also very careful not to reprimand her if she has an accident with undies on, too.

    Oh, and she hates not wearing pants. If she wears a dress, she always has to have pants on over her undies / nappy. So trying the whole commando thing or just wearing undies is a difficult battle, although, I did have a win over the weekend when it was quite warm, so hopefully this might change now that it's warmer.

    We are certain that once she does that initial #1 or #2 in the toilet, that it will all just click in place. But how do we get that initial one to happen???? Help???

    Cheers.

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    Default Re: How do we get that first go on the toilet with our DD?

    Is she a copy cat? I found with my DSD that she would normally go successfully after I had gone and she had seen me go. I also would put her on the toilet on an hourly basis and ask her continually if she needed wees or poos. The thing she loved at first was hearing the sound of #1s in the toilet. Took a while to get the #2s to work though...

    Hugs and good luck to you. Hope this helps you out :-)

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub

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    Default How do we get that first go on the toilet with our DD?

    We used to read dd1 books to get her to sit long enough on the toilet to actually do anything.

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    My DD sounds very much like yours (and we are almost in exactly the same position with a 3 year old and a baby due on christmas eve!!) - we waited until she just said she wasnt wearing a nappy anymore. We had a bit of a relapse after that when DH went back to work after 2 months off which was really hard but then in the end what worked was lots of encouragement to use the toilet as that's what 'big sisters' do and every time she went at home DH would pick her up and spin her around in a circle celebrating. We now have the very occasional accident if she can't get there in time. Good luck!

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    Default How do we get that first go on the toilet with our DD?

    We used to put our little guy on the toilet while the bath was running as a routine early on. I think the sound of running water helped. Then as he grew more confident with that no pressure method if he didn't have any wee, he was relaxed about going to the toilet and was easy to step it up to regular toileting.

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    Thanks so much for everyone's great advice.

    Carleena - Hope your new bub arrived safely, if on time. We are still waiting!!

    Smidget3004 - she is a bit of a copy cat, but not even that is working. I have been doing that with her for a few months now to no success.

    We have been trying the big sister / big girl talk, and she won't wear a nappy anymore without a tantrum, only wears pull ups. This is to the point last week I put her in a nappy (as it was about 30 minutes before bath time, but had a dirty nappy) and she had a shocking tantrum. Off to her room for some time to calm down, and when we went back, she had taken the nappy off, put it in the nappy bin, and put on a pull up! Does all that, but won't go to the toilet properly.
    Missie_mack - have tried encouraging the use of the toilet first thing in the morning, but no luck. She just absolutely refuses.

    We definitely don't apply any pressure, as doing that in the past with other things has just led to regression and frustration - for all of us. What I am finding frustrating now is that she has been doing at day care, but just won't at home. Even last night she was outside in bathers with no pull-up, and we kept reminding her to tell us if she needed to go - as she will ask at day care! - and she did ask her Dad who rushed her in, sat her on the toilet, then nothing. Arrgghh!

    We moved out the change table from her room yesterday into the new Bub's room for when he arrives, so hopefully that might help, too. I guess it's just a case of waiting. It's just a bit frustrating - especially when you start getting "unwanted advice" from your mother-in-law at Christmas lunch!!! I adore her, but being heavily pregnant and uncomfortable, a lecture is not what I felt like

    Hope everyone had a lovely Christmas


 

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