Hi, I can't complain and don't want this to sound that way, but after being pregnant and giving birth, I now feel so boring and normal!
I had a miscarriage last year October, then got married in November. Fell pregnant again in December, gave birth in September. It's been a big year, and I felt special being pregnant, everyone was excited, I wore maternity clothes, people on the street could see our little miracle. Then she was born, and walking with her the first few weeks or even without her was very special, and still everyone could see I just gave birth, I felt special and proud. Now my little angel is 7 weeks, I fit back in my old clothes, I walk normal again, and if I don't take her with me, no one could tell I just had a baby.
Is it normal to feel this way, disappointed in a way, not feeling special anymore? I don't really have anyone around me, my family is overseas and my husband only has a sister who lives 2 hour flight away. I do have friends, but they're mainly from work and they haven't even come to visit. I stopped working a week before giving birth and it has been very hectic for them since, but still, a bit of support would have been nice, only had 1 phone call.
Anyway, I've never been the most social person, only a few good friends, but now that I feel a bit of an anticlimax after this whole baby-adventure, I'm not sure whether it is loneliness or depression or just normal.
I am joining mum groups etc and visit some local centers, hope to meet some other mums soon.
Baby is doing really well and I have had no issues at all during the pregnancy or afterwards. I know I am very lucky with that, but just wanted to put this out there, it actually makes me feel better
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07-11-2012 08:39 #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
I feel so normal :)
07-11-2012 09:02 #2
I feel so normal :)
It's normal as u get a lot of special attention when pregnant. I also had no one around when our DS was born. We have heaps of friends but not a single one came to visit us in hospital and no one even got us a card or flowers. I've been to see other friends and they always have a room filled with flowers, cards, gifts etc.
I think people r too polite to come visit etc when bub is born coz they assume first time mums r struggling with sleep or bub etc. and it is true for some cases but that support is actually helpful.
There are some of my friends who when we had DS, they stopped all contact... As in I have never heard a peep from them since and he's almost 18months!!
I think your feelings are normal and I would suggest mothers group, playgroup etc to make new friends. I found that helped me.
07-11-2012 09:12 #3
I think we all go through that...such a big lead up then 'normal' again. I def recommend joining a group. I was reluctant too but decided to try it out. BEST thing I did. We were all in the same boat and its been nearly 3 years now since I joined and 4 of us still catch up weekly.
It wasn't till I was at home with a newborn that I realised I didn't know anyone who didn't work...so days really dragged waiting for my husband to come home. Then I'd get narky if he socialised after work "because I had no-one to socialise with"!
I'm sure you'll feel better once speaking to other new mums ;o)
08-11-2012 08:30 #4Junior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Thanks all I went to mums group yesterday for the first time, and it was nice, nice other girls, and who knows, might get some friends out of it in the next few weeks. Good to know that it sounds quite normal, and I'm sure over time it will get better. Thanks!
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