Gender dissapointment

**Steph83** · 06-11-2012 20:10

So I found out we are having another boy Yesterday. I cried for 4 hours because I was upset it was a boy and then I cried because I was upset that I was upset it was a boy! I came out of the scan in tears everyone must have thought I had lost the baby or something. I know I should be grateful that the baby is healthy, but I couldn't even focus on that. So feeling really guilty about all this, I know it sounds horrible but I really didn't want another boy

Anyone else ever feel the same? I'll get over it right? And I have heard lots of stories of people being told they were having a girl and it ended up being a boy, has anyone been told they were having a boy and ended up having a girl?

**smash023** · 06-11-2012 20:15

How many boys do you have ??

**MrsOhara** · 06-11-2012 20:17

*Hugs*
I had the exact same thing this time around except we found out we were expecting a 3rd girl.
I bawled my eyes out and felt like the biggest ***** because I should be grateful to have 3 healthy children.
I got over it within a day after going baby shopping and DF and I couldn't be more excited regardless of gender

I have scans done at every appointment and we've had it confirmed by two people it's a girl.
I think I'd be very shocked and stressed out if it were a boy now because we already have so much pink and personalised stuff for her lol.

**mummyjac** · 06-11-2012 20:23

I have 3 darling boys, and yes I was very disappointed when I found out that the last two were boys. It probably took me the rest of my last pregnancy to get over it. Now that he is here I wouldn't swap him for the world. I love my little men, but I would have loved to have had at least one girl

**WineTime** · 06-11-2012 20:30

I think it's okay to be bummed. You wanted a girl, and it makes you a bit sad that you're having a boy. That doesn't mean you wont love your boy, it just means you also would've liked a girl. And thats ok.

Maybe just give it some time, and dont be hard on yourself.

**Nila** · 06-11-2012 20:49

Sorry you feel that way, I currently have 2 boys and we are trying for #3 we would love to have a girl but as a lot of people have said as soon as you have him you wont feel the way you are right now cause you will love him anyways!!

**peanutmonkey** · 06-11-2012 20:51

Op please be kind to yourself. I'm sure you will love your belly babe just as much as your boys you already have but allow yourself some time to grieve for the daughter you aren't having.

I am pregnant with #3 and I have 2 boys already. We attempted gender swaying this time around and we will find out the sex in January. I am worried about having similar feelings. This is our last baby and I will love him or her regardless but if it's a boy I will be grieving for the daughter I will never have.

My suggestion is to give yourself a time frame. Allow yourself say a week to feel sad and grieve. And then make an effort to move on. Buy some cute New boy clothes, celebrate your wonderful baby boy

Hugs. I hope you have some support IRL to be there for you but if not you are more than welcome to PM me if you need a friendly ear

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**Bulbasaur** · 06-11-2012 20:52

When I was preg with my DS I was so upset he was a boy because I was sure he was a girl. But after the disappointment I loved him and still love him. The more he grows the more happier I am he was my first and he makes me proud. You will be ok and get over those feelings. Alot of people feel them and it's ok! You will love your little man more then life it self xxxx

**biscotti** · 06-11-2012 20:56

Hi there,
Some posts in this thread have been edited or deleted by the Moderating team.

Please note that at the top of this section it reads -

Forum: Baby's Gender
An area where members can discuss gender planning (both naturally, and with technological assistance) and gender disappointment. Please note - any posts that aren't supportive or on topic will be deleted.

Any further posts that are off topic or of a non supportive nature will be removed and infractions applied

**Boobycino** · 06-11-2012 21:02

And steph - so much empathy. I cried - and cried because I cried - and cried because I couldn't stop crying at the *thought* I might be pregnant with a boy. It's a horrible feeling. Not it's horrible to have a boy but horrible guilt muddled with wanting and pain and confusion. Or at least it was for me. Even after 2 years ttc so throw a hefty whack of me saying "you ungrateful so-n-so" to myself.

Please be gentle with yourself.

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Gender dissapointment

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