Donna I could of written ur post myself. I too am struggling a lot, DS is 4 weeks old & I have no idea how I'm supposed to get him into a routine of any sort or even manage to leave the house. He is so unpredictable.
For my own sanity I have stopped reading all the books & just trying to go with what he wants. I also pat & rock him to sleep if he is really unsettled or cuddle him because it's the only thing that calms him down. A lot of mums & midwives etc have told me that up to about 3-4 months they don't have huge memories so bub won't be able to pick up bad habits of needing to be rocked to sleep etc.
It's all about getting thru these early weeks & it's unfortunately very hard work. I had no idea it was gonna be this difficult.
Great tips by the way from all the PP :-)
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07-11-2012 08:55 #11
07-11-2012 09:29 #12
You've done great! Babies can't read books and the little guy just spent 9 months so close to you its only natural he wants to continue to be close to you.
I fed/rocked my DD to sleep till she was 4 months old. Only then did I feel "tough enough" to try and teach her to self settle. Sleep deprivation makes any decision twice as hard.
Once my boobs settled (around 6 weeks I think) I'd express enough for 1 bottle, then hubby would give that to DD at about 10pm. We'd have dinner together, then I'd be in bed by 8pm. Meant I got to sleep from 8pm till hopefully 2ish. That chunk of sleep really helped.
Also meant hubby got some 1:1 time without me hovering over his shoulder telling him what to do ;o)
Worked great for us. Your motherly instinct will tell you whats right for your baby, a book can't do that
07-11-2012 09:36 #13
Totally NORMAL! Feed him to sleep laying down in you're bed every sleep! It's so much easier!! That's what I'm doing right now! Ahhh relaxing!
07-11-2012 09:56 #14
Agree with PP- feed to sleep, cuddle/rock whatever that gets bub asleep.
My suggestion for the screaming afternoons is to take bub for a walk in the pram or carrier. The afternoon sun is good at releasing melatonin in the body to assist with night sleeps. The fresh air will help too.
I still do this with my 2yo and 5 mth old.
07-11-2012 12:24 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
I felt exactly the same as you with my first. It's such a huge change to your life and its so normal to feel a bit resentful towards dh or bubs - it doesn't mean you don't love them!.
The best two bits of advice I received that helped me enormously were:
1. Look at the first three months as an endurance test, don't worry about all the things you are 'supposed' to do, just put your head down and get through it, and
2. (From a friend with six kids) - just do whatever works!. She said she has rocked, patted, fed, driven, crawled out of the room on her stomach....she just said do whatever works for you and your baby and don't worry about what anyone else says, because at the end of the day they will all grow out of it eventually . It made me feel a lot better about feeding my baby to lep for the first two years of her life!!
13-11-2012 13:23 #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
Ok holding baby in one arm as I feed myself between patting his bottom and rocking but had to reply because I know just how u feel. First of all big hugs! What's helping me get through each day:
Before I know it he will be going to high school and will be saying "no mum" so I'm going to hold my newborn while I can, bad habits or whatever be damned.
I have boobs and despite all their problems (too small, not enough milk) they give my baby comfort so I'll stick him on there if it helps him sleep
When you are up at all hours of the night you're not alone. Think of all the other mums with a light on in a room of the house doing the exact same thing at the exact same moment. Me included!
So many mums feel exactly the same as us so we must be doing it right!
Last edited by Cookie1; 13-11-2012 at 13:26.
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