My LO is now 2 weeks old. Most of the time I am coping ok, but then there are the other times I just want to scream and cry.
He wakes up every two hours if not more often at night for a feed. By the time I feed and burp him then get him back to bed I feel like I myself am in bed for half an hour (realistically it's probably more like an hour). By the morning I just feel exhausted.
He will then be calm for a few hours and sleep ok but then usually around lunch time (or 3-4pm if I'm lucky) he will just cry and be unsettled. He acts hungry most of the time I thought but I'm starting to realize that his hands in his mouth are not necessarily hunger signs but tired signs.
He won't go to sleep in his bed like everything says he is meant to. I'm trying to only cuddle him until he's almost asleep and then put him down and pat him to sleep but then other times the only way I can get him to sleep is to cuddle him or sleep with him. And now I'm worried I'm doing everything wrong.
I usually manage to get an hours sleep during the day so am not feeling too tired really but I'm feeling like I'm going to snap soon. When he's crying and won't stop I just feel like screaming for him to be quiet. And then I feel guilty about feeling that way and I just want to cry.
I am resenting hubby that he can still go about his day mostly unchanged, yet I am constantly on call for this little being. Don't get me wrong he is doing as much as he can for us but i'm breastfeeding so there is only so much he can do.
I love my little boy so much but part of me keeps asking myself what have I done.
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06-11-2012 16:44 #1Senior Member
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- May 2012
06-11-2012 16:53 #2
I don't have much advice but please believe me when I say it will get easier! I have a 4.5 month old DS and felt exactly like you have described for the first 6 weeks. Apart from the exhaustion, childbirth is a huge thing to go through. Eventually they do start sleeping more and it gets easier. But until then it can be tough. Do you have any mummy friends around to go out with for a coffee or anything?
Big hugs xx
06-11-2012 16:54 #3
Also, I still rock my DS to sleep in the day and he sleeps in my bed from about 5-8am most days. Do what you have to to get some sleep!
06-11-2012 17:00 #4
Re: Feeling overwhelmed/frustrated
I felt the same with ds.
If you find he sleeps better with you then do it. If he sleeps on your boobs go with it. Try not to follow what you should be doing but follow what your heart and instinct tell you is right for you and your bub.
Not every bub will settle without being held. My DS would not asleep with out me there in some way. Either in the room talking or holding him.
I hope you feel better soon.
Sent from my LG-P500 using BubHub
06-11-2012 17:08 #5
Please don't worry about doing things wrong!! Do what you have to do to make your little man happy! I fed and rocked my little dude to sleep until he was at least 9 months old. He's now 12 months and self settles most of the time.
I was given a little mantra at the beginning and repeat it quite often. Feel free to steal it lol "this too shall pass" I have a bub hub Facebook group of friends and we often tell each other that at hard times
06-11-2012 17:15 #6
So completely normal to feel that way! I still feel that like that and my kids are 7 and 5 yo and 12 months!
For me it lasted about 2 - 3 mo where I really struggled to cope. The constant feeding, the crap sleeps, the crying for what seems like no reason and you have tried everything to make it stop and it wont. Having a baby is one of the hardest things I have ever done...I have made mistakes and I am still making mistakes but my kids are happy and healthy and thats all I can ask for. Having a newbie is so overwhelming.
I cried a lot during those months...DP would try and help but when bubs wants boobs there is nothing much you can do.
I still feed DD to sleep....I dont care if thats not the 'done thing'. She likes it...it helps her to calm down, gives her a full belly before bed and it helps me to unwind as well.
It will get easier! I promise! Its ok to feel like screaming and dont feel guilty either. I used to go scream in my pillow sometimes so I could just get the frustration out.
As bubs gets older the sleeping will get better, he will become more efficient at feeding as well so the time to feed will lessen and you will start to see a bigger gap between feeds.
Oh and I would curse DP when he would casually stroll in from work, ask how my day was and proceeed to tell me how 'hard' his was.
Its okay to feel this way....but if you think its getting the better of you and you are feeling depressed then do see a dr as you may be suffering from post natal depression.
06-11-2012 17:15 #7
The first few weeks and months can be so tough, especially when it is your first and you are worried about doing everything 'wrong'. My only advice would be do what you need to to settle bub. If that means boobing to sleep or letting bub sleep on you, then just go with it. Your little bubba spent 9 months snuggled up inside you, it's a pretty scary world out there for a 2 week old and they just want mum! Do you have a carrier or sling? They can be a lifesaver as bub can feed/ sleep and you have your hands free to do some things.
Please don't worry about what your newborn 'should' (according to unrealistic expectations in books usually) be doing. You can work on getting your bubba to sleep independantly later. There's not much you can do about the night feedings, but it will eventually get better. Hang in there, you're doing a great job.
06-11-2012 17:25 #8
Your baby sounds exactly like mine. I have low supply so my feeding is breast, bottle then expressing, nappy change then settling him to sleep then half an hr later he's awake again!
It's hard during the night but today I had a nap every chance I could to prepare me for tonight. Some nights I fall asleep sitting on the couch with him on my chest.
When he screams I just remember that that's the only way he can communicate and not always means something wrong. Apparently it's normal for babies to cry up to 5 hrs a day! I also think of those poor mothers with multiples.
I think speak to your early childhood centre and they may have some suggestions for settling. When I was in hospital he was screaming one night and the nurse wrapped him in a warm blanket and he was quiet instantly.
Don't feel angry at him or yourself, it will get easier and if you are like me and he is your first, you ll gain more confidence everyday and be able to understand him more.
No matter how many books you read nothing can prepare you for the reality of a newborn. It's hard but just look at the perfect little angel you created who loves you unconditionally !
06-11-2012 17:30 #9Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
I agree with all pp! Go with your instinct and don't worry about the books! I coslept for first 8 weeks and for me it meant I barely even woke up to feed. Also bub slept in sling all day. Now at 6 months, she's sleeping in her cot for two long day sleeps and at night (she does wake for feed/s). I'm trying to say that the supposed 'bad habits' got me thru the first three months and no ill effect now...
It will get easier, promise
07-11-2012 08:21 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
Thank you everyone for your advice. I'm trying to forget about the books for now as a big part of me wonders how on earth a newborn is suppose to follow such strict routines.
After DS being awake for almost 6 hours yesterday afternoon crying most of that time because he was overtired I finally managed to get him to sleep and we had a pretty good night.
I also moved his cradle out of our room as he is a noisy sleeper and every time he made a noise I was awake even though he was asleep still.
And I fed him laying on the couch so I dozed off while he was feeding.
Feeling alot better after a successful night, fingers crossed the day follows suit.
Thanks again everyone.
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