+ Reply to Thread
Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst ... 234
Results 31 to 40 of 40
  1. #31
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    6,771
    Thanks
    350
    Thanked
    2,359
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default When your boyfriend buys a major purchase without discussing?

    Quote Originally Posted by Issey View Post
    It is not really about the money, it is about not involving me in any decision making or considering my opinion. We have been together 3.5yrs.
    May I ask why aren't you living together?

    I would be annoyed but then again I would also say I overreact to situations then apologise

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    19,776
    Thanks
    5,212
    Thanked
    7,064
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Justwant2beamummy View Post
    I guess for a big purchase like that I'd like to feel he valued my opinion.
    That's exactly my take on it. Doesn't matter whether they live together or not, I would like to assume in OP's position I'd be living with him and that big hunk of metal one day, but it's nice to be included and have discussions.

    My DP and I discuss anything and everything. We don't ask permission, but we certainly make the other feel involved. I couldn't be in a relationship where there were too many surprises, that's just me. He hasn't done anything 'wrong' but for me it wouldn't be mr right. I think if this is an example of what he's like, it's good to get these things ironed out before moving in / marriage etc.

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,869
    Thanks
    879
    Thanked
    1,202
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by BlackEyedPea View Post
    I didn't say there was anything wrong with it - my point was the OP clearly has different ideas about how she defines their relationship than her bf does. And that's what they need to clarify.
    I didn't think you thought there was anything wrong with it. Just gave 2 examples of people I know who are boyfriend/girlfriend who do not live together.

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    3,524
    Thanks
    1,890
    Thanked
    2,539
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by BbBbBh View Post
    I didn't think you thought there was anything wrong with it. Just gave 2 examples of people I know who are boyfriend/girlfriend who do not live together.
    Sounds like an ideal arrangement to me tbh

  5. #35
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,869
    Thanks
    879
    Thanked
    1,202
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    [QUOTE=London;6892577]After 11yrs, you would think the kids would be fine with the idea of mums bf moving in with her.....wouldnt you?

    I think the kids (4 girls) would be fine with it-they always do family holidays. I think its the mum who wanted to keep the kids separate. Now that her youngest is 16 she is considering it

    Sorry to detract. Back to the OP

  6. #36
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    8,804
    Thanks
    7,291
    Thanked
    9,742
    Reviews
    5
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default When your boyfriend buys a major purchase without discussing?

    OP you said he mentioned it a few months ago and he knows you didn't like the idea. So he did tell you and he did get your opinion. He then, it seems, decided to do it anyway because its his money and his decision in the end. You aren't living together, sharing finances and he's in his 40's- more than old enough to make his own decision. You don't need each others permission or even input about purchases unless your finances are combined IMO.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Atropos For This Useful Post:

    MissMuppet  (06-11-2012)

  8. #37
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    13,071
    Thanks
    620
    Thanked
    939
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts

    Default When your boyfriend buys a major purchase without discussing?

    I've been with my dp for bit over a year now and we don't live together. But we have discussed it and both agree that we will be within a couple of years. It's works well for us right now. But OP I have seen your posts about your dp and get the feeling your're not happy with the way things are and the fact that the relationship isn't progressing the way you would like, and the bike is a part of a bigger problem I feel (sorry if I'm being too nosey or out of line) I think you need to really work out if things will ever move beyond what they are now and have the courage to speak up that your not happy about it, and either work to compromise or decide if its time to move on.

  9. #38
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    26,923
    Thanks
    2,736
    Thanked
    6,747
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    It sounds like he DID mention the bike previously though... and she wasn't keen. If I were talking to a boyfriend I didn't live with about an object I wanted, but he was telling me it's a bad idea, I'd just not talk about it with him anymore... but go do it anyway.

  10. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SassyMummy For This Useful Post:

    HowCrazyCool  (07-11-2012),Stiflers Mom  (07-11-2012)

  11. #39
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    2,415
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked
    4
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Temet Nosce~ View Post
    I've been with my dp for bit over a year now and we don't live together. But we have discussed it and both agree that we will be within a couple of years. It's works well for us right now. But OP I have seen your posts about your dp and get the feeling your're not happy with the way things are and the fact that the relationship isn't progressing the way you would like, and the bike is a part of a bigger problem I feel (sorry if I'm being too nosey or out of line) I think you need to really work out if things will ever move beyond what they are now and have the courage to speak up that your not happy about it, and either work to compromise or decide if its time to move on.
    I think you have hit the nail on the head. The relationship hasn't progressed the way want. He has made it clear he doesn't want to live with me because I have too much stuff. I am working on that issue. This is probably the last straw I suppose and we have discussed breaking up but decided we wanted to try and make this work. He has been FIFO for the past 12 months and it has certainly taken it's toll on us as I am not feeling connected to him. I suppose because I have been married before I am a little on that wave length and I expected this relationship to progress to that level (hoped).

  12. #40
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    391
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked
    120
    Reviews
    0

    Default When your boyfriend buys a major purchase without discussing?

    ...
    Last edited by FiredUp; 06-01-2013 at 01:30.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Discussing death with children
    By ~ElectricPink~ in forum General Chat
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 04-07-2012, 01:21
  2. 22 wk Ultrasound showed dilated kidney, Dr discussing abortion.. vent
    By Needaname in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 10-05-2012, 12:15
  3. Discussing work hours on return from mat leave.
    By Uh-Oh in forum Working Hubbers - Employed
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 03-05-2012, 15:10

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
FEATURED SUPPORTER
LCF Fun Languages AustraliaFrench, Spanish, Mandarin, Italian & German lessons for children 0 - 12 years. Play-based and immersion language ...
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Jolly Joyful JuneConception & Fertility General Chat
Feeling like a terrible parentGeneral Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
Boys namePregnancy & Birth General Chat
Purchasing PramFirst Trimester Chat
Britax safe n sound unity capsule base?Product Recommendations & Questions
REVIEWS
"Made bed time less anxious"
by Meld85
My Little Heart Whisbear - the Humming Bear reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›