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  1. #11
    FearlessLeader's Avatar
    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
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    Default Re: When your boyfriend buys a major purchase without discussing?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirby star View Post
    You dont live together thus don't share finances so honestly i think it's none of your business.

    If you were living together or sharing finances then yes it needs to be a joint decision

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    This. Although after 3.5 years I wouldn't be happy with just that level of relationship, and it sounds like you aren't either.

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  3. #12
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    Default Re: When your boyfriend buys a major purchase without discussing?

    Well, hes your boyfriend... So in my opinion and view that means it's his money.

    Married comes with a whole new set of rules, what's yours is mine etc etc.

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    If you were saving together for something (ie a house) or if he owed you money- then yes. If you don't share children or finance then no.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    This. Although after 3.5 years I wouldn't be happy with just that level of relationship, and it sounds like you aren't either.
    Agreed.

    But yes, it's his money. If you don't have any agreement/understanding in place then there's really no grounds for being angry. DP and I live together and have a child and his money is still his money. We have a joint account for all things house/child/future that we both put into equally and other than that I don't know how much money he has or care what he does with it.

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    If you're not sharing finances nor living together, I don't know why it would be any of your business.

    If you were planning on moving together, and it was simply a matter of saving money before doing that, then yes, I would be quite irritated as it'd show how important moving in together was to him... but I can't imagine my partner ever telling me how I can or cannot spend my money when we do not live together and it is not his money to decide how its spent.

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    If you aren't married, don't live together or don't have children together, then I don't think he should be expected to discuss any of his financial decisions with you.

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    Default When your boyfriend buys a major purchase without discussing?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirby star View Post
    You dont live together thus don't share finances so honestly i think it's none of your business.

    If you were living together or sharing finances then yes it needs to be a joint decision
    I agree with this too, you don't live together, guessing don't share finances, so why must he run every purchase past you?

    And can I ask why you don't think it's a good idea?

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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    Default When your boyfriend buys a major purchase without discussing?

    Same as GreenMama. We both put the same amount into a joint account for baby/house/bills etc and the leftover money is ours to spend how we please!

    It'd be a different story if you lived together or had financial plans together that this purchase interferes with but not other than that.

    As long as it wasn't our joint money, I don't care if DP comes home with a motorbike (although since she can't ride one, it's probably not the best idea)

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    I'm going to go against the grain here and say I'd be hurt too. No, there is no law that says he HAS to discuss purchases with you but personally I'd wonder whether he wanted to live with me if he was buying such major purchases without even mentioning it.

    My DP and I, IMO, rushed things and moved in within 6 months of getting together but he took me shopping when he went and bought a new desk because he valued my opinion/taste and, I guess, the intention was for his things to be mine in the near future!

    Even now we're not the type of couple to gain 'permission' from one another but if he came home with a new vehicle that he hadn't even mentioned in passing I'd be a little more than miffed!!!

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    If my boyfriend bought a motorbike, It would mean the end of our relationship- I have massive issues with them and have always made it clear it's a deal breaker from day dot.

    However, before dh and I moved out he went and spent a truckload on a car, I was annoyed as we were starting to talk about getting a house. But in the end, it was really none of my business so I let it go.

    (he does hear all about it now though, as we are still paying out the loan, and don't have the car )


 

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