I can soooooo sympathise with you, I just wanna reach out and give you a big hug .
I've had problems with my MIL ever since I came into DH's life. Before we were married we broke up once, and his mother was a huge part of that. I am sort of lucky in a sense that he agrees with me that his mother is completely out of line and just not a nice person. At first I tried to be nice and tried to fit in, as you do with your other halves family. Then at one point I said to myself "Why am I putting up with this? They are no better than me. I do not deserve to be treated this way". DH agreed and we majorly cut them out of our lives. And just so you know, that is your right to do so. It is up to you how much you want to have to do with them. you do NOT have to put up with being treated that way and you did the RIGHT thing speaking up for yourself, I just want you to know that. Anyways, after the in laws got the hint that they wouldn't be seeing us anymore if they treated us like that, they got a bit better. it took time - years - but now MIL is definitely better. she hasn't totally improved, there are times when she tries it on but we just back off and she gets the hint again.
Can I just ask, how much damage can they really do if they live interstate? They can't be knocking on your door and hanging around criticising everything you do. I'm not in your situation but is there any way you could just ignore them and their ridiculous attitude? Just focus on you and your family, that is what is most important. There are always going to be people in life that don't agree with what you do, that's just life. It shouldn't stop you from doing what you believe in
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02-11-2012 09:40 #11
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02-11-2012 12:58 #12
To be honest, I wouldn't unblock them and put them in a special list. I wouldn't want them on my friends list at all.
I would open another FB account in DH's name and add them as friends. I would upload any photos you want them to see to that account. Make sure DH has the passwords also, so if he wants to talk to them on FB he can. Other than that, I wouldn't be doing anything for them.
(If you don't have another email address for DH - just open a free gmail or hotmail account for fb purposes).
But in saying that, I have no longer have any relationship with my ILs. DH is welcome to have as much or as little contact with them as he pleases and DD only gets contact when she is supervised by DH. They are the last people I want on my FB page knowing what I am doing. The only thing I do for them is send them a photo calendar of DD every Christmas with photos I have taken throughout the year.
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02-11-2012 14:47 #13Member
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- Sep 2012
Fb is great but it does cause fights. I blocked my sister after some long very public disputes and my mum has never accepted it. I was damned when I talked to her and damned when I didnt. TBH who cares what they think. I just refused to talk to or about my sister and there is no problem (this does not always work though).
I can sympathise with the MIL issue. Mine has made many comments about my weight over the years and has no filter on what she says. She always says she cares about us but I really dont think its any of her business! She is also a tight ***. They are rich and watch us struggle with money. We went out for dinner with them one night and she complained that the soup was $10 so my husband just ended up buying it for her.
She also makes comments that she just wants me to fit into the family. I am 25, my DH 27 and his other 5 siblings are all 40s and 50s with older kids and MIL is in her 70s. I thought I fitted in ok but obviously she doesnt think so.
Also Im sick of hearing about one of DH's nephews who has had health problems so is really spoilt and treated like a baby to make up for it. They all say he loves babies and is so sweet but TBH he is a little ***! Once he asked me if I was carrying? (hes 11) then he said I must just be really hungry (Im big but not that big). When my DS was 4 days old I reluctantly let him hold him (I was pressured) and he yelled in his face. Even my mum who doesnt know the boy thought he was going to start hurting him.
Anyway a bit off topic but that felt good to get it out. Hang in there and just concentrate on your family! You know whats best for your child and dont unblock them from fb.
03-11-2012 19:54 #14
I agree with the pp who suggested your dh havr his own fb account. Its his family so he can be the one to put up photos and give updates etc.
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