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  1. #51
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    Default Re: No heartbeat ..... 20 wks :( :( need adice

    lots of hugs. you're so strong.

    it's so hard, because regardless of how careful and cautious you are, these things still happen

    Sent from my Samsung Galaxy SII, please excuse any errors!

  2. #52
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    Default No heartbeat ..... 20 wks :( :( need adice

    So hard. Big hugs

  3. #53
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    almai is offline "you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."
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    Quote Originally Posted by gracec View Post
    Hi ladies
    Just an update from hospital .. All is calm & somewhat well. I havnt had the drugs yet.. so just waiting patiently for it all to start.. They've offered counciling.. But I don't know what they can say that you ladies havnt already told me.. I checked out heartfelt but they don't do babies before 20wks and my baby died at 15 wks they preferred not to however the hospital will take photos and we can spend as long as we like with our baby, even have them spend the night with is I'm just sad as this is very surreal.. Our 6 yo dd has asked to see the baby. We'll see what the baby looks like before we make a decision ..
    I just feel soo sad that we are at the end of our family making road . I wish the last 6 moths had been completely different and I wld maybe at ease by now with not extending our family.. Our 6 yo is absoutly devastated.. She's very sensitive, I told her to just cry. & ask any questions she may have .. I told her we will stay a family of 4... Thanks again for alll your well wishes & kind thoughts



    i am so sorry for your loss. life is cruel and unfair and just plain sh!!t sometimes!

    i was induced at 16 weeks due to my bubbah being "incompatible with life". i had a very emotional 6 hour labour and then discovered my 1 bubbah was actually 2. conjoined identical twin boys.

    they fit in the palm of my hand, skin was red and somewhat see through... but little mini fully formed babies they were.

    i was relatively young and had no idea what to expect or what to do afterwards. i wish i had taken more photos, i wish i had spent more time with them, i wish i studied there amazing bodies and features more and ran my fingers over them 1 last time.
    our hospital took hand and feet prints, and took photos. we had tests done to find out what went wrong and then had our babies cremated. (i found getting answers comforting. for me, knowledge was power) i have their ashes in a necklace pendant (i wore it everyday for 5 years and have now put it in 'their' box of memories as i try to move forward with TTC again)
    i also have their names tattooed across my back.

    i wish you strength and resilience to get through the next few hours, days, weeks and months. allow yourself to cry, to grieve and to smile again. i feel your pain and i am so sorry you are going through this.


  4. #54
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    Default No heartbeat ..... 20 wks :( :( need adice

    I've read along and not known what to say. I hope you are coping ok. Life just plain sucks at times and there is no rhyme or reason as to why these things happen. It's just crap.
    I hope you are gentle on yourself. Take pictures if you want... I would maybe call heartfelt again if you thought they might come around or ask a friend.
    Anyway, just sending you some hugs, losing your bub and going through labour is just awful awful. There are no words to make it better. So sorry for your loss.

  5. #55
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    Default No heartbeat ..... 20 wks :( :( need adice

    I'm so sorry to hear thinking of you. Hugs xx

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    Default No heartbeat ..... 20 wks :( :( need adice

    My heart is breaking for you and your family. I wish you all the best x x

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    Well it's nearly 2:30 am. Ive been tossing & turning .. My mind is racing yet again .. I've already had my pethadine & Valium to help me sleep .. But now I'm awake .. Again thinking of what today will bring . A very emotional day .. To walk out of hospital with no baby.. Just breaks my heart, I just feel dead, was I being creedy wanting to have a 3rd child.. We struggled to have 1, struggled even moreso to have 2...,3 was that being creedy.. I want yo stay in a hole & hide but I know life goes on.. I can't remember who suggested it but i like the idea of the ashes being in a pendant.. They will do an ortopsie & check chromosome ... I need to know if my girls will have any trouble convincing...
    We were thinking of getting 6dd to help name the baby, it might help her as well. She's already drawn pictures & made a bracelet for our special box that we will make up. I want this pain to be over... I know in time it will.. My 2 cousins that are due weeks around the time when I was due will bring back a flood of memories ..I was also due a week before my 6yo dd birthday .., so I think she will need extra cuddles at this time as well.. Hubby has been really supportive & just let's me dribble what ever is on my mind.. I did ask him how he was feeling .. " you know me, tough as rusty nail' but I know he's hurting to buy doesn't want to show it in from of me..

  8. #58
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    Default Re: No heartbeat ..... 20 wks :( :( need adice

    Grace, I send my best wishes and many hugs to you, you family and your precious angel. I hope you find some answers xx

    Sent from my HTC Liberty using BubHub

  9. #59
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    Default No heartbeat ..... 20 wks :( :( need adice

    I have no words but am thinking of you right now. As an ivf warrior I can only imagine some of the feelings you must be experiencing. As if ivf isn't hard enough...to have to deal with this . I will be thinking of you and praying for your family.

  10. #60
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    Default No heartbeat ..... 20 wks :( :( need adice

    No. You weren't being greedy to want a third child. This isn't your fault. I'm so sorry you are going through this.


 

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