123 magic

[moongazer]

Can someone explain 123 magic to me?? I'm a little confused. I feel like I need to start getting some effective technique up my sleeve to deal with my DS1

[intruderalert1234]

Have you done the course or watched the videos? How old is the child?

I use counting like 1,2,3 magic but modified it to suit my then 2 year old.

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[Hullabalu]

How old is your child. My 4 yo understands it well. As a family you decide what are big behaviours that are unacceptable. These get counted. Some like swearing and hitting are an automatic 3 and get an instant tines out. I am not so good with emotion coaching. I recommend a course. It takes you through it step by step. I still yell sometimes but not as much. I also feel calmer. It has really helped with the constant whinging from ds. It still happens but helps remind him to stop. He is learning there are consequences for undesirable behaviours. Plus he is growing up too.

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[Elijahs Mum]

Subbing - I want to read it to, I started counting today when just turned 2 DS would not come inside when I called him so I started saying "one , two" and he yelled back "three,four,five!"

[intruderalert1234]

Subbing - I want to read it to, I started counting today when just turned 2 DS would not come inside when I called him so I started saying "one , two" and he yelled back "three,four,five!"

Thats cute, my 2 1/2 year old used to finish the count, now he knows whats coming (i always go warning (eg stop doing x or i will put you in time out, that's 1 etc)he now when i say that's 1 he slaps my hand screaming no i don't want one, i dont want two, i don't want three! <- that's not so cute but prettt funny

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[London]

DS school uses it and we have it at work.

Basically it focuses on the counting. There are 3 levels. If the child gets to the first 3 its a time out. Then if they get to 3 again its another time out. If they get to 3 again its a bigger punishment like missing free play (or calling the parent). Working from the bottom up its like.....

1 2 3 (call parent/miss free play etc.)
---------
1 2 3 (time out)
---------
1 2 3 (time out)

Normally they use a laminated bit of paper and the name is written on the number as its counted OR the childs name is laminated and is velcroed/blue taced onto the number as its counted so the child can see what number they are on.

They teach you that rather than having a drawn discussion or debate with the child on exactly what they have done, you just count.
For example, rather than "Johnny you dont talk when I am talking, thats very rude and interupts everyone" ..you just say "Johnny thats a 1" or "Johnny thats a 1 for talking when I am talking" and you carry on without getting into an argument with the child about it.

I find it works on most kids at work, but I tend to modify it. I sometimes give a warning to 'difficult' children before I count them. For example rather than saying "Johnny thats a 1 for not joining the group" I'll say "Johnny you have 5 seconds to choose to go join the group or its a 1" (o 2 or 3 depending where they are on the chart already) then after 5 seconds "Johnny thats a 1".


Does that help at all?

[moongazer]

Yes it helps thanks.
My son is about to turn 3.
He blatantly ignores me continually and won't stop when I tell him to, in shops etc, so I have to run after him.

I have done a 123 when he doesn't get in the car seat etc, but maybe a more structured 123 would be more beneficial.

I'll have to look into it more.
Thanks

[moongazer]

Subbing - I want to read it to, I started counting today when just turned 2 DS would not come inside when I called him so I started saying "one , two" and he yelled back "three,four,five!"

Cute!! But frustrating I'm sure'

[London]

Its more of a "thats a 1" then move on and if it keeps happening or something else happens "thats a 2" etc. rather than (for example) "put that down.....1......2....3". Make sense?

[moongazer]

Oh yeah. Makes more sense now. I may have to do a bit of googling. I guess I need to tell DS that this is how I will do things from now on, and punishment would be time out or removal of toy etc...