my ex used to push and push and push me, then we would be out in public and he would make a snide remark about something he had hounded me about for the past month, so I'd lose it and tell him "WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP ABOUT THAT" then all of a sudden "see, she's CRAZY, what a loonie, she just lost it at me when I just asked a question" *polishes halo*
sounds to me like the brother in this scenario is looking for a reaction, so will push her until she eventually snaps.
Results 121 to 130 of 159
28-10-2012 12:15 #121Senior Member
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- Nov 2007
28-10-2012 13:14 #122
28-10-2012 13:16 #123
She the victim of violence here...why is everyone missing this point?
28-10-2012 13:21 #124Ok Des I have a 9 yr girl and 13 yr boy (+ a few more).
lets face kids at times do this Sometimes (rare but they do happen) no matter what discipline you use.
This is what i do.
My girl gets a ban of some sort and small lecture about hitting, hitting is not on. My boy gets the whole long " you are a boy, boys are stronger than girls, there is never a reason to hit a girl, no matter what she does because you are stronger and you can hurt them much more etc.... and a bigger ban because he is older. That is for a simple hit.
If he was to cower over or lay on her (him being twice her size) He would loose every privilege he got. The computer, the tv, the wii everything and he would have certain amount of job he would have to do for her. Than we would start in on the Intimation lecture, how using his size and strength to frighten and terrify people will lead to bad things in life and that I want the good for him. I believe that laying on her is a much more worse than a simple hit IYKIM so would be dealt with a lot harder.
Good to see I'm not the only one who sees the enormity of a 13 year old boy who is a lot bigger and stronger than my 9 year old girl beating on her...even if she did hit him first...there is no reason to us his size and strength to intimadate and Lord over her like that.
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28-10-2012 13:25 #125
I've read through a couple of pages and I'm lost. When people respond you add more qualifications to the scenario, which is natural given they're your kids and only you can know what's going on. But honestly it's almost impossible to give a view about it.
My 2 oldest girls hit each other. I never see it happen though and it's reported to me by the younger one and then the older denies it. I grew up in a family of 4 kids where we roughed and tumbled and incited each other and drove each other mental until one snapped and then we all pretty much got in trouble and sent to 4 different rooms in the house.
Kids drive each other crazy, kids hurt each other and parents are left to sort it out. I'm not entirely sure there is any right answer here is all I'm saying, as there are too many issues it seems.
28-10-2012 13:27 #126
She's the victim in this, why should a vicitim be punished for being the victim?? I don't understand that concept. Isn't being beaten punishment enough?? (from her perspective) She's in pain, she's scared and she's cowering in the corner and to add more insult to injury..."Yes I know he verbally abused you but you hit him in the arm so now you don't get to watch tv...oh you have a black eye so can't watch tv anyway...well then you should not have hit him in the arm"
I think there's a lot of people here who has never witnessed such things, never had to deal with it and don't understand the enormity of what is going on. It's getting a tad annoying actually because I am witnessing it and I'm in fear for my child's safety...and yet her beating isn't punishment enough??? What the hell?? It's not up to him ...no....but it's what happens...it's the reality. Shoulda coulda woulda doesn't help sorry.
28-10-2012 13:32 #127
28-10-2012 13:35 #128
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28-10-2012 13:37 #129
Yep getting in there before it escalates is what I've been trying to do...but he's cunning I tell ya! OOh boy...he'll do it quietly, he'll do things like take her meat pie out of mircrowave midcook just to put his in....because he can. Because he is bigger and stronger and he knows she can't do anything about it, except cry, whinge and hit him. etc
28-10-2012 13:44 #130Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
it's not always as clear cut as "fighting is bad mmmkay" because there are imbalances between people re strenght/size etc. example, imagine a son and father getting into a physical fight - dad is a boxer, boy is a skinny nerd. They altercate, skinny nerd hits dad in the face, dad hits son back. Of course dad will cause more damage and should have a responsibility to react without going overboard.
I am also pretty sure that when there is damage done and there is enough evidence to suggest a partner has done it, the police can charge even without the victim pressing charges. This is what I was told anyway when I recently witnessed a fight involving both men and women, with large sticks. The joys of working on in the city.
Last edited by Benji; 28-10-2012 at 13:47.
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