+ Reply to Thread
Page 8 of 20 FirstFirst ... 67891018 ... LastLast
Results 71 to 80 of 191
  1. #71
    London's Avatar
    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
    Winner 2012 - BubHubber you'd like to meet IRL
    Winner 2012 - Best Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    11,392
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    4,936
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Not everyone shares their income in that way. I have never, nor will I ever, have a joint bank account. We have our own accounts and our pays go into our respective accounts...yet we never think of it as 'my money' and 'his money'. Its not for everyone, but it works for us.

  2. #72
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    4,765
    Thanks
    1,903
    Thanked
    2,790
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolns mummy View Post
    I want to be the one to pick them up when they fall, i dont want to miss all the firsts, and i dont want other to be major influences in my children.
    Presumably your children's father is a major influence on them though? Yet isn't staying at home with them every day?

    Sorry I know I keep harping back to it but it just bamboozles me that the female parent has this "lesser or two evils" type choice and the male parent gets to have the best of both worlds.

  3. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to shelle65 For This Useful Post:

    Ellewood  (22-10-2012),Guest654  (22-10-2012),HugsBunny  (22-10-2012)

  4. #73
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    19,776
    Thanks
    5,212
    Thanked
    7,064
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    I should say OP that my parents both worked, mum generally the main income earner and for a number of years my dad was the stay at home parent. Even when both were working, they worked hours where we were both picked up from school. I feel I had the best of both worlds - happy, content parents who got to do what they enjoy (and teach me about it) but they also shared the duties so we were always picked up from school.

  5. #74
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    4,669
    Thanks
    1,352
    Thanked
    2,646
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    Presumably your children's father is a major influence on them though? Yet isn't staying at home with them every day?

    Sorry I know I keep harping back to it but it just bamboozles me that the female parent has this "lesser or two evils" type choice and the male parent gets to have the best of both worlds.
    I totally get what you mean. When DS turned 1 and i was due to return to work we sat down to talk about it and i said i wasnt ready for DS to go into care. I told DF i would be happy to return to work and for him to stay home for a year if he wanted but he didnt want to, he was at a point in his career where it wasnt smart to back away for a year. He is completly happy for me to stay home for as long as i want.
    I think i get teh best of both worlds. Right now i get to stay home with my boy and i know i can return to work when ever i want.

  6. #75
    London's Avatar
    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
    Winner 2012 - BubHubber you'd like to meet IRL
    Winner 2012 - Best Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    11,392
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    4,936
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    I think the fathers 'role' is just as varied as the mothers now. Some men are still traditional and just work and the woman is 100% homemaker. Some men work and come home and help out. Some men work and do everything at home. Some men dont work and do everything at home. Some men dont work and do some things at home and the women is the breadwinner.

    This thread was particularly asking about a mothers role though, so I think thats why the father and his influence has been over looked in alot of answers.

  7. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to London For This Useful Post:

    HugsBunny  (22-10-2012),Lincolns mummy  (22-10-2012),MissMuppet  (22-10-2012)

  8. #76
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    3,525
    Thanks
    1,890
    Thanked
    2,539
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    This thread was particularly asking about a mothers role though, so I think thats why the father and his influence has been over looked in alot of answers.
    Nah.... It pretty much always comes down to the mums and our choices being scrutinised.

    Just to add, often even when dads take time off to be home with the kids they use the time to further their careers.... http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...ties-home.html
    Last edited by Ellewood; 22-10-2012 at 15:16.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to Ellewood For This Useful Post:

    shelle65  (22-10-2012)

  10. #77
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    19,776
    Thanks
    5,212
    Thanked
    7,064
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by BlackEyedPea View Post
    Nah.... It pretty much always comes down to the mums and our choices being scrutinised.
    Yes, must admit I'm still waiting for the threads criticising fathers for "wanting it all" and "not coping" because they wish to be employed and then the ones stating how traumatised the kids are because he decides to raise them full-time while they're little lol.

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Benji For This Useful Post:

    Ellewood  (22-10-2012),shelle65  (22-10-2012)

  12. #78
    London's Avatar
    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
    Winner 2012 - BubHubber you'd like to meet IRL
    Winner 2012 - Best Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    11,392
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    4,936
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Dont be silly, the men dont have time for forums. They are out working.

  13. #79
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    4,765
    Thanks
    1,903
    Thanked
    2,790
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I had a meeting with a senior barrister this morning and he told me proudly that his wife is currently overseas on business and he is being a "single dad" to his four kids. He seemed to expect a reaction of "WOW! Go you!!! Can't believe you can possibly manage that AND work!!!"

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to shelle65 For This Useful Post:

    Ellewood  (22-10-2012)

  15. #80
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    10,495
    Thanks
    1,430
    Thanked
    9,005
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    Might be odd to you but I've been a single mum in the past (and am aware of how easy it could happen again), not odd to me whatsoever It's "our" income as well, in fact DP has to prop me up significantly financially as he earns a higher income, but it's still important to me to contribute financially to the household income because of my past. I'm sorry you find it odd, but it's normal to me. And your situation doesn't strike me as odd either, just different.
    I completely agree. And when I was a divorce lawyer, nothing was "ours" when people are separating.

    I have been a SAHM and a working mum, and have recently returned to work again now DS is 18 months. My years as a family lawyer have made me always determined to earn my own income. And as for wanting to be the main influence in my children's lives, we have recently employed a nanny to care for my youngest while I work and she has so much energy and enthusiasm. I love her as does my son. She really adds another dimension to his life (and ours) and I think it's been a great decision to have other people come into his life at this stage.

    But getting back to the OP, I think kids will always find a reason to criticise their parents and they way they were raised (worked too much, didn't work enough, not there after school, always around us and never had her own life). So many of the posters here admit as much. My mum was a SAHM initially then returned to work when I was around 3 and went on to have a great career. Yet I know at times I've criticised her for not being there, and then at other times for being too available.

    For me it's about making the decision that is the right decision for you and your family at that time, no matter what that might be. But if you do stay home, have a back up plan financially. I've seen first hand women going through divorce later in life with no skills and no means to an income, and no super. To be middle aged and desperately poor is not a position I want to be in.
    Last edited by Sonja; 22-10-2012 at 15:49.

  16. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Sonja For This Useful Post:

    Benji  (22-10-2012),Clementine Grace  (22-10-2012),Ellewood  (22-10-2012),Rutabaga  (22-10-2012)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Do you ever stay at home all day?
    By chubbasmummy in forum Stay At Home Mums (SAHMs) Chat
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 04-10-2012, 13:58
  2. Stay at Home Dad
    By Fergz in forum Dads Chat
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 02-10-2012, 14:03
  3. What have YOU given up to be a stay at home mum
    By mamma2rubypie in forum Stay At Home Mums (SAHMs) Chat
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 07-01-2012, 18:37

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
FEATURED SUPPORTER
TribalanceTriBalance is a physio, yoga & pilates studio in Brisbane's inner north, offering specialised women's health ...
REVIEWS
"Pigeon teats rule!"
by Alex
Pigeon PP Wide Neck reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›