I get what you're saying.... In reality it's a very powerless job being a SAHM - powerless with respect to if hubby does decide to leave and not continue to support you in that lifestyle, you then have to start over having lost your financial security and job/career skills in the case you need to return to work. I know many grown adults who while they appreciate and love their mothers, they have said things like 'I just wish she had have done more' or 'she didn't do anything, she was a SAHM'.... It's not that they're meaning to insult their mothers, but they kinda have. I guess the difference these days is that women (and men) can choose whether they want to be a SAHP whereas in our mother's generation women often didn't have much choice and were pressured into it, which lead to a widespread discontent and this perception they were bored, or boring.
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22-10-2012 08:52 #21
22-10-2012 08:55 #22
Stay at home mum vs career mum
I am very blessed to be able to be a SAHM, does that mean I am too 'uneducated' to comment!
22-10-2012 09:00 #23
Stay at home mum vs career mum
I think it has very little to do with whether the mum works or doesn't, it's an individual thing. You have a desire to work, have a career, maybe your mum didn't. Maybe that wasn't her thing.
If she didn't like Italian food, but you did would that also impact on her ability to be a good role model?
It sounds like (and I only have a few pieces of your story) your mum and dad knew they could afford to have her at home, and that they were giving you a balanced upbringing. You had an ambitious and business-minded role model, maybe your mum was comfortable with the knowledge that your dad was taking care of that part of your 'education' and she could focus on nurturing?
Just another point of view.
I agree with everyone who said rather than placing your own values onto others and seeing how they measure up to you, just focus on the kind of family you want, what is important to you and what isn't. As you can see, it will vary GREATLY from person to person.
I don't think you meant to be offensive, and I tried not to take it personally, but just because I really don't give a hoot about a career path, it doesn't mean I can't help to make a balanced and successful and intelligent human being...
I was successful at my job, but I didn't enjoy it, and it was a means to an end. Now hubby earns enough that I can stay home indefinitely and I think all mums in that position are just the luckiest people.
22-10-2012 09:03 #24
22-10-2012 09:06 #25Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
OP, I would reserve judgement on the subject until your baby is born. She may just change your mind!
Please don't share your opinion on this with your mum. I think that would be devastating to hear
22-10-2012 09:09 #26
I think myself being a SAHM I am setting a good example, I'm showing her how she needs to treat her man, have dinner on the table every night, home baked goods for school lunches and treats, have a spick and span house, I'm showing her how to get the perfect crease in a pair of mens trousers... I'm teaching her this is a woman's place and how to do her job well.
No, but really I'm raising my kids exactly how I want to, with my own philosophies, I'm limiting external influences on them during this crucial developmental period. This is invaluable to me.
I had a great career, I moved up in every business I worked for very quickly, did a lot of amazing things and made a lot of money.
But the values I have and that I want to instill in my kids focus more on family, home and love.
22-10-2012 09:12 #27
My point was that she was resentful that her mother missed these things, with the onus being on her mother. Are kids everywhere growing up resenting their dads for working and missing these important events?
22-10-2012 09:13 #28has left the building
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
Being a good role model has nothing to do with whether you are a SAHP or in a career imo.
22-10-2012 09:25 #29
22-10-2012 09:28 #30
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