There's no use crying over spilt milk, but there'll be plenty worth weeping about when your child's growth is irreparably stunted for failing to consume adequate quantities of this wholesome dairy cure-all. "Drink your milk!" should not just be a mother's pleading request. It must be an anthem across America in the quest for strong bones and healthy teeth. Spoinl them with sugary soda pops and your family dentist will hold you accountable!
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13-10-2012 00:18 #11
Rule #10 Milky Way
13-10-2012 00:20 #12
Rule #11 Creature comforts
Bogeymen under the bed and monsters lurking in closets can strike terror into the hearts of your children. Calm their overactive imaginations by distracting them with a soothing bedtime story. Try a timeless classic from the Brothers Grimm to ease their worried minds, then lead them in reciting a reassuring bedtime prayer in which they "pray the Lord their soul to take" in the event they should die before waking.
Last edited by Mod-pegasus; 13-10-2012 at 14:00.
13-10-2012 00:31 #13
Rule #12 The truth hurts
Little white lies are not only permissible, they're sometimes necessary in the delicate balancing act called parenting. "I love you children all equally..." is no worse a fib than fantasies of the Tooth Fairy or admonitions that Santa Claus is watching their every move. So go ahead - indulge yourself in a few tall tales if it means leanding an air of peace and harmony to your home.
13-10-2012 00:42 #14
Rule # 13 Simple gifts
The true rewards of motherhood can't be quantified by a price tag. A yarn necklace strung with dried macaroni noodles far outweights the value of a diamond tennis bracelet of a pearl choker, don't you agree? Likewise, breakfast in bed on Mother's Day may consist of soggy cereal or burnt toast, but it'll taste better than any champagne brunch - because it came with a side order of love!
13-10-2012 00:51 #15
Rule #14 Minding their manners
Your children's behaviour is a reflection of the values you've instilled in them. Backtalk and sass must not be tolerated, nor shall hyperactive silliness be rewarded. Teach them to be civilized darlings who can respond with "Please" and "Thank you", respect their elders, and recognise that God did not intend little nostrils to be receptacles for little fingers.
13-10-2012 00:53 #16
Rule #15 Figure "great!"
Motherhood is no time to forget the dangerous curves that helped you land your children's daddy in the first place! Those extra five to ten "pregnancy pounds: should melt away in the blink of an eye, but you can hurry things along with some weekly calistenics to make that little extra "jiggle" do a vanishing act.
13-10-2012 01:08 #17
Rule #16 Pulling rank
A mother is the captain of her household, and her children are the foot soldiers expected to fall in step withe the commanding officer's edicts. Forget who's boss and you just might have a mutiny on your hands. When the going gets rough, just remember that, "Because I said so," and "I'll give you to the count of three" are the only marching orders you need.
Last edited by Mod-pegasus; 13-10-2012 at 14:00.
13-10-2012 01:11 #18
Rule #17 Three Square
Getting little sally to appreciate your burssels sprouts casserole instead of begging for one of those new fangled TV dinners gives rueful meaning to the term "bargaining table." In convincing children to eat their vegetables, guilt trips (There are children starving right now in China!) prove far less effective thn tangible threats (I'll send you to bed without dessert) Be ever on the lookout for furry, four-legged accomplices lurking under the table.
13-10-2012 01:21 #19
Rule #18 Rub-a-dub-dub
After a hard day of backyard play, your litttle ragamuffins could easily be mistaken for a roving band of filthy street urchins. But a little soap and water never killed anyone. To the contrary, a meticulours scrubbibg in the bathtub is one of your best defenses to stave off a whole host of childhood maladies and insidious germs. Don't forget to clean behind their ears - wouldn't want a potato patch to sprout up there!
13-10-2012 01:28 #20
Rule #19 Lullaby & Goodnight
It's a bittersweet time of day when you must part ways with your little one as they journey off to the land of nod. Thankfully, you can use this time to catch up on your own sleep reserves by enjoying a solid eight hours of deep, interrupted slumber. so go ahead and relax - after spending the day molding exemplary little minds and creating productive young member of society, you deserve it!
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