Oh London, your poor boy! My ds punched the other boy back on the arm the final time. It was enough to make the other boy not pick on him again but that's not to say it's right. In the end I guess ds will do what he feels is right at the time. I agree re not enough teachers and I guess if bullying isn't seen the teachers are reluctant to get involved because they didn't see it.
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09-10-2012 15:12 #11
09-10-2012 15:19 #12
I think firstly we have to differentiate between bullying and just nasty behaviour. Bullying is repeated and targeted aggression intended to physically or mentally hurt someone. Nasty behaviour is more the one-off incidents. As someone who spent a large portion of their childhood being bullied it kind of irks me to hear the misuse of the word bully as I think it dilutes the power and affect real bullying can have.
I think like any parenting approach it has to be tailored for the child. My DS is very tall and very solid but he is a very gentle boy with a lovely disposition. I've never heard him say or do anything to intentionally hurt someone, he would most likely be the victim. Right now I would recommend that if someone is not playing nicely with him to walk away and find something else or someone else to play with and maybe tell a teacher. He's learning karate at the moment which we hope will encourage mental and physical agility as well as self discipline.
09-10-2012 20:10 #13
I just wanted to add that what was my source of comfort when I was being bullied as a child was an unshakable belief in myself. I was raised to be confident and to believe that I was bright and clever. Whilst this helped me, the person who bullied me was brighter, more popular, bigger, stronger, wittier etc than me, it was my own brother.
09-10-2012 20:41 #14
The OP mentioned the bullying seems to be becoming more common, I disagree in that it has always happened but it is no longer accepted as part of growing up and something that you just deal with, we are more aware. What we do have is more avenues through which people can be bullied. Now it is not just on the playground or the phone or a note in the school bag, it is text messages, email, facebook and whatever other social media they access.
I agree with Cazhaskids - encouraging kids not to suffer in silence, talk to an adult, and keep talking to an adult until you find one who will listen. Also being very clear about when to engage physically, what it means to act in self defence as opposed to pre empting violence and agression, or just lashing out.
09-10-2012 20:42 #15
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