All of our friends and family know that they have to call first before turning up......but the in laws don't respect this wish.
Last Wednesday evening, DH had an appointment to go to, and DS and I were off to Zumba. While we were getting ready, the in laws just rocked up at the front door.
We let them in but told them we were about to leave for the evening. Their response was "Oh we'll just wait here until you get back then" !!
We told them we'd be hours and so they got cranky, and left when we did.
DH popped around their house on Monday after work and they got right up him about it. They are difficult people at the best of times, so he basically told them to respect our privacy, call in future, and if they can't do that, then we won't make any effort to see them at all.....ever.
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09-10-2012 15:15 #11
09-10-2012 15:26 #12
I have no idea how your DH stands this.
My Mum overstepped boundries too and DH just said "No. Not in my house. This is our house she can't come in and automatically think that her status as your Mum trumps our rights in our house. Tell her to change, or don't have her here when I'm here."
I told her, she didn't change... so now I only have her here when DH is not.
09-10-2012 15:29 #13
No one comes to our house unannounced!!! I find this very rude!!!
My mum has a key to my house and still knows not to come unannounced! I love my space
09-10-2012 16:39 #14
I hate unannounced visitors.
DH's family have a habit of it, his patents, grandparents and brother have all been known to do it. And occasionally will come round the side door which ive asked them not to do as it gives me a mighty shock!
Ive told DH to pass on the message that coming up to summer and me being pregnant would be best they call or text when theyre coming as i might be walking around in my underwear. I know that will freak them as they're all quite modest do hoping that'll stop the drop-ins
15-10-2012 22:06 #15
My other halfs family do like to just drop in. At first it would bug me, but it's just different to our family. My family organise before, even by text and I am used to that.
Now I don't mind either way. However I get embarrassed if the house isn't tidy.
15-10-2012 22:18 #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
I hate un-announced visitors let alone some one letting the self in to my house! That said I will often drop in on my aunt, mum, mil or grandparents with no notice. At my grandparents I take the 'workers entrance' and let myself in yelling hello as I walk in, if they are home it's unlocked so that's what we have always done, same at my parents....at the inlaws if I'm with dh or they expect me I will use my key because they hate to get up, but if I'm un-announced I always wait to be asked in.
I'm just weird as if they did the same to me I'd hate it!!!!
15-10-2012 22:29 #17
This bugs me to no end! We live with my parents, so its never an issue...
HOWEVER, I have a friend who always rocks up, during my only child-free 3 hours a week -EVERY week without fail, 30mins after i drop DS off at care. In those 3 hours, id love to be able to kick back and relax, take a LONG shower, watch a movie in peace....but nope. Its always unanounced, bt she does come to the front door.. However i have been in the toilet and shes ended up inside!
Also, DF has a new friend from work.. we hardly know him, and he comes through TWO sets of gates, walks around the house to the back door on the entertaining area, and knocks REALLY loudly yelling out for DF. Usually with his Wife in tow! Its nothing personal, but im late 20s.......shes early 70s. What can we possibly have in common!?! She could be my grandma, and while i dont mind older people's company... i DONT need to know all her medical issues and testing (including bowel excretions) thats being done!!
And 3rd, Another of DF's "mates"... his MUM. She comes to our front door, knocks SO loudly, sets the dogs off (2 indoor pomeranians who yap nd DONT settle down for ages) It always JUST after ive Got DS down to sleep for the arvo (taking up to 90mins!) and it wakes him up...but worst of all, its for no real important reason!! "She was just telling me her son was in hospital 2 weeks ago on his holiday to QLD, he's ok now though, he's home"
That being said though, i NEVER go anywhere un-anounced, and will ALWAYS knock unless im told otherwise. I have been brought up with the belief that its someone elses property and you dont enter until asked.
16-10-2012 21:18 #18
My IL's all go to each others house unannounced and use the back doors. I found this very strange and uncomfortable. When we moved to the same town I did not want them to do that at our house. I didn't have to do anything though, my MIL and FIL came around to the back and we didn't hear them, so they came to the front door and we answered, they always came to the front door after that! My DH did not want them coming to the back either so it would have been dealt with if we had to! That was in the UK, now we live in Australia we get them staying for 4 weeks at a time instead of dropping over!!!
16-10-2012 22:04 #19
16-10-2012 23:05 #20Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
Omg this is totally my in laws! They never call or text asking if its okay for them to come over, let themselves into our backyard and always try to come in the back door (which luckily I nearly always leave locked) even though we have asked them to use the front door. And when we aren't home they get cranky at us for not being home - something they would have known if they were polite enough to call or be invited over first.
However we do tell our friends if we are having a BBQ or something to come straight around back as we will be out there anyway and prob won't hear them at the front door, but we know when they are coming and expect them so it's no big deal. But unless we tell them too they always use the front door.
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