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  1. #1
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    Angry poor kids, but what can you do in this situation :(

    so i was shopping at woolies tonight when i saw a woman who was with about 5 young boys (some her kids) anyway she was yelling at them and just going crazy because these boys kept walking around in dif isles without her (that what i thought she was yelling about anyway) but something that really upset me was and i quote 'get back here and behave or i will smash the p1ss out of you right here and now' i will add that the boy had a broken leg and all of them looked pretty scraggly and not well taken care of. (like bruises and sores and dirty and worn clothes) im not trying to be judgy but that really upset me. why talk to kids that way. the mum looked really really mean and nasty. whT can you do though when you see and hear that? i really wish i could have done something but what?
    those poor kids, it really broke my heart. i dont understand how any mother can talk to her kids that way, its just really sad.

    should i have done something? (7 month old dd was in the trolly at the time too and dh wasnt near by at the time so i just let it go as i was a bit scared that either dd or me would get hurt)

  2. #2
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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    She was shopping with 5 young boys, by herself? With no help? And they were running around the shops not listening to her? And it was the end if the day?

    Well no.. while I don't like what she said, and it's not nice .... here's a flipside..

    perhaps.... the kids have been running crazy all day. She needs supermarket and can't leave them at home, because that's irresponsible parenting... so she tries to get them to clean up, but they won't... so in the end she just has to take them, like they are scraggly and dirty after playing on a hot Sunday (if they are anything like my boys it would have probably included mud, water, bikes and trees... so you know, dirty stuff)..

    So knowing that they will run riot in the shop, becuase they don't listen to her, she still has to bring them.... and dirty at that.
    So they do run riot through the shop... and she's stressed and tired from dealing with it all day... and she says that because she's at the end of her tether.... and some people just aren't very articulate with words.

    So a) you know she's not going to 'smash the p1ss out of them' because... well they are running wild, children who are being abused and punished like that... I don't think would DARE to be so openly naughty and disobedient.
    b) she's not irresponsible enough to leave them at home... which I'm guessing a neglectful abusive parent would.

    So anyway.... perhaps instead of judging what she said, you should have a gander at the whole situation. Which was there was a woman, with no help, trying to buy groceries, probably for school lunches tomorrow, with 5 kids who are running wild and don't listen to her, and she's probably been doing nothing but cleaning up after them all day. I'd be ready to lose it too! I broke a broom tonight actually (not on my children, but having a meltdown to DH after they were in bed )

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    I've been the person freaking out yelling at the kids in public before... generally if I say something ridiculously over the top and violent, the kids know I am not serious about the punishment, but I am serious about wanting them to behave. I usually say something very harsh like "get here or I'm going to have to kill you" (usually to my younger brother and sister) of course I don't mean it but if someone were to view it and not understand the context I suppose it would look bad :S I think the only time you should do something about the way someone is parenting their child is when they are physically harming them.

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    they werent being that bratty though. they were by her side for the most part of the shop from what i could see. im not judging i was just stunned by what i witnessed.
    when i was a kid i would purposfully do stuff to get mum angry, so yeah i do believe its possible for abused kids to do that. you know whats coming to you anyway so you dont care. i was wha kes lkke crazy growing up. i got it all the time anyway so i didnt care if i got a whacking for doing something i wanted to do if i was going to get it for something else.

    its possible that the scenarios you shared is what happened here, but honestly, i doubt it. i dont know, i just think its wrong either way, she shouldnt talk to her kids like that.

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    There's no justifying saying that to your kid. If the woman has 5 kids that can't behave (doesn't sound like that's the case) then that's on her.

    Online shopping and home deliveries doesn't cost that much.

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    Not everyone has the luxuries on online shopping and home deliveries.

    I agree with OJ here. My first thought was 'why does she have to talk to her kids like that? Frustration, anger, tiredness, impatience, frustration.'

    I tell my boys I'll spiflicate them (a throwback to my own mother saying it to my siblings and I) but they sure as heck know that I never really would. And I take my boys out with me to the supermarket all the time looking less than polished. It was really hot the other day so for the first time in months we were wearing shorts, and L swore black and blue that he didn't want his hair combed, didn't want his faced washed and he was going to wear his gumboots come hell or high water So I let him. He looked as though he had just climbed down from the treetops to join civilisation for the first time.

    I know it's really hard not to judge- I find myself judging all the time. But I think unless we see immediate danger to the children we have to just stand back and think of all the other possibilities for the scenario.

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    I wouldn't say online shopping is a luxury anymore. Most homes have the Internet, and it only costs $9 (less than half a pack of ciggies).

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I wouldn't say online shopping is a luxury anymore. Most homes have the Internet, and it only costs $9 (less than half a pack of ciggies).
    What about the computer that it goes on?
    It IS a luxury to some socioeconomic groups.

    I'm a pretty Judgey McWudgey at the best of times so I probably would have been shocked at hearing that at first, but after some thought I would have come to the same conclusion as PP. Perhaps the kids are being abused, but perhaps they aren't perhaps she's just had a really bad day (I don't know where you are but last night was the end of the school hols here). And God forbid a kid have a broken bone and everyone thinks the parent has belted them up.

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    Not just a broken bone, but some bruises! If someone saw me telling off DS in the shops with him looking scraggly & bruises in the legs all that would mean was that I was shopping on a day that ended in Y.

    There's also reasons why someone would use the shops instead if ordering off the net - no credit card, emergency top up shop, the shop was on the way home/dropping the kids off & she mistakenly thought it would be easier than doubling back.

    And what does the price of cigarettes have to do with anything? To assume that the mother is a smoker based on the info we have from the OP is ridiculous.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ChickyBee View Post
    And what does the price of cigarettes have to do with anything? To assume that the mother is a smoker based on the info we have from the OP is ridiculous.
    I am not assuming the mother is a smoker. I was using wit to highlight a point that has obviously been missed here. Many people say "I can't afford this, I can't afford that" yet if they tightened their belts they could.

    I don't care what y'all say. There is no excuse for speaking to your kids like that. If you can't handle it.. Don't have 5 kids. If you are so overwhelmed by the 5 kids you have get some help.


 
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