I was a really terrible crappy parent, and then an awesome parent, then crap again, then perfect, then even better than perfect and then crap again and finally even crappier because DS is a bit of a rough kid.
Your friend got lucky. Don't worry according to most mums I've met a good baby means a terrible teenager. Lol.
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Results 51 to 59 of 59
08-10-2012 12:23 #51
08-10-2012 12:47 #52
sleeping through from 3 weeks? Because of a "good routine"?
If your 'friend' was expecting her newborn baby to follow a routine then she's the one that's the bad mum. Babies eat, sleep and play when they want to. A good mum is one that's patient and helps their babies learn how to sleep in their own time.
You're doing a great job. Ignore her
08-10-2012 13:04 #53
I have one easy child, one hard one. Both raised exactly the same way. Most of the time it's just pure luck to get an easy baby. Hate those smug types that think bc their baby/child is good that makes them parent of the year. Nope, most of it is just luck and nothing more.
08-10-2012 13:27 #54
I think people view parenting differently. OP you are not a bad parent at all. Choosing to not follow a strict routine DOES NOT make you a bad parent. We follow a pattern of events rather than a strict routine ie, wake up, food, play, more food, sleep etc Even at 2yo she knows that a walk comes before breakfast and nap follows lunch then we can go to the park to play etc
My 2yo has certain traits/characteristics that some would view as good or bad parenting ie
She doesnt not like to sleep by herself. Next to a parent/caregiver/friend in daycare - she will happily sleep 11-12hrs night and 2-3hrs in the day. In her own bed you will get 9-10hrs overnight with a couple of resettles and 1.5-2hrs in the afternoon. My mother would call this great parenting (as she thinks its wrong to make children sleep alone) and my MIL would call this bad (she is of the opposite opinion)
She likes to cuddle to sleep (good with my Mum and awful with MIL)
She eats all her veges/pasta/meat but point blank refuses all things potato. (bad MIL as they are potato based in their household... she wont eat chips!)
She was TT at 18mths (bad with both MIL and mum as we left it too long in their mind)
she wont finish her plate if she is not hungry (she wastes food according to FIL)
she likes to read/or have books read to her on the toilet. This is not good according to my cousin as it leads kids to bad habits of wanting books on the loo. I have no issue reading her a story while she poops... I always have a couple of books in my bag for her. I also doubt I will be doing this when she is 13.
she changes her clothes 3-4 times a day... hates being messy/dirty. my fault as I constantly change my clothes if I get spewed upon by DD2 (4mths). again I dont mind as its not like she is at risk of getting hurt.
we parent as we would like our children to be raised and in a way that works with our lifestyle. My hubby is a shift worker so strict times will never work in this house as we like to include DH in our day as much as possible. If I kept a strict 7am-7pm day DD1 and DD2 would only see their day every second week. They wouldnt get to go to family dinners weekly, or early morning walks with me or surprise afternoon picnics with friends. And that is not happening.
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08-10-2012 14:13 #55Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Western QLD
So I have had three reflux babies, and almost 3 yr old who still wakes at night , I must be a terrible mother
08-10-2012 14:44 #56
hahahhahahahahaha my second was perfect for the first 4 months, then it went badly down hill from there. 15 months and still hasn't slept a night through since 4 months old. I wouldn't be too smug if I was her, it can change at any time
08-10-2012 15:10 #57
My DS was two in august and has ALWAYS been an epic sleeper. Has woken maybe 5 times over night in his life? and has huge day sleeps. He also very easily toilet trained well before he was 2 and is just generally a delight. Add to this I had the worlds easier pregnancy and birth with him. It was sheer blooming luck!!
In fact, I am due with my second in roughly 12 weeks and I can tell you right now DH and and I are VERY nervous. There is no way known to man we could fluke another child like DS, but add to that, it's our second and everyone kind of expects you to know what you're doing. We feel like first timers.
Your friend, as others have suggested is an idiot. what a ridiculous thing to say. I honest to god wish DS was entirely a result of my totally awesome parenting because I would write a book and make millions. Except I don't think anyone would buy a book that reads- 'If the baby is asleep for more than 3 hours in a row silent high five each other in the hallway. End of advice. The rest is chance'
08-10-2012 15:28 #58
My 1st 2 were perfect babies! Slept and ate well, then DD3 came along and we did exactly the same with her as we had with the older 2 - but she was such a different baby! Colicky, reflux, poor sleeper, fussy eater, terrible tantrums etc. you name she did it!!
I used to listen to other mums talking about how poorly their babies slept and would think to myself, it's not that hard you just feed them and pop them in their cot and they'll go to sleep!! Never actually said that out loud though! The I found out the hard with DD3 it's not alway as easy as you think.
My sister's first baby has always been good, slept well, fed well ate his vege and does what he is told. Now 3 1/2 and he has never had a tantrum, just a good easy going kid! We joke that he's either going to be a rotten teenager or he'll marry someone his mother doesn't like!
From my experience, it really depends on the baby and their personality as to ho well they sleep etc. Reflux and colic added to the mix and it can be really hard.
08-10-2012 15:32 #59
Wow. All this judgement from someonewho hasn't even gone through teething. Yes.. Be smug back. Throw her words back at her when the time is right. You know, when she has had a few nights of being a bad mum cos she dares to let her baby grow teeth and forcibly cut their way through gums that have never held teeth before. Oooh... She would be the worst mum in the world should her child get gastro or the flu..
Seriously.. She is not qualified to make those calls yet. Maybe once her bub is out of bub stage then she can make some form of qualified judgement based on her EXPERIENCES but until then bide your time and get pay back.
I had a friend who knew how to raise kids cos her sister had heaps of them and she baby sat alot.. When she had hers I heard hers is a right little handful..
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