Just curious as to how many people this hapoened to.
I know when we had one we had said we wanted 4 or 5 and then we had our second and decided we were done but got a bonus third!
I know my mum always wanted 4 too but stopped at 2 once the reality of children hit!
I admire peiple with large families, and have a few friends with 4 or 5 in their family but I also know a lot more who said they wanted a big family until they started having children and realised just how much work it is every single day and realised they coukdn't stretch themselves far enough to have a large family (which is the same for me despite.me having someone recently imply that to not have the 4-5 children I originally wanted I obviously find my children a nuisance! She is pregnant with her first...I'm curious as to how this plays out for her!! haha)
There are a thousand reasons we stopped when we did...the reality of day to day life with three, finances (I am a sahm but am studying now and we have sacrificed a lot but I know my DH feels a lot of pressure being the sole bread winner. It's not just as easy as making sacrifices), the difficulty of it all when everyone gets sick,how busy it is, the physical strain on my body (third pregnancy was so much harder than the first two and I wasn't a very fun mum which I wouldn't put my kids through again), the fact our kids aren't good sleepers and don't sleep until they are at least 2 which makes day to day life hard with other kids...hard to be fun, cool and calm when you've had three hours of broken sleep, and then the sibling arguments which just seem to get worse as they get older!
If it was down to how much we love our kids alone then we'd have a dozen...they aren't a nuisance, we just looked at what we could cope with comfortably and realised that it wasn't the 4-5 like we originally thought!
So who else has had the same experience?
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07-10-2012 07:35 #1-
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
Did you want a big family before having children and then change your mind?
07-10-2012 07:48 #2
I did the opposite, I wanted none in my 20's then two when we got married now we have DD (6months old) and I'd like 6 or 7!! I love it. The day after she was born I said to my mum I was ready to go again... should have seen her face!! :-)
07-10-2012 07:53 #3-
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
That was us too Ciaosmama! We wanted 2 and then Dd1 was born and we held off on ttc until she was 6 months old and wanted 4 or 5 but we were both ready to try again when DD1 was 2 days old!! Everyone kept saying 'just wait until she's more mobile etc. and you'll be glad you waited to try' but that feeling never came. Then DD2 came on the scene and we were more hesitant about no. 3 and by the time she was 12 months old we were done. Then DS surprised as a few months later but having one didn't make me change my mind...it was the reality of more than one that got is thinking
Last edited by Wastingtime; 07-10-2012 at 08:03.
07-10-2012 07:56 #4
Kinda... We wanted 6, took a break at 4 then had a few years before 5 and got a surprise 6.
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07-10-2012 08:23 #5
Yes! I always saw myself as a mum with three kids. After DS I will be grateful if we survive two kids! They are such hard work, especially with the no sleeping. Though I would love twins.
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07-10-2012 08:27 #6
I always wanted 4 children. We now have 3 and I and debating having number 4. I would LOVE to have another, it's more finances that concerns me
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07-10-2012 08:34 #7
Same as op here. Before I had kids I wanted 4 or 5 but now I have 1dd and another one due in December in pretty sure that will be it for us. Similar reasons to you, financial, lack of sleep etc.
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07-10-2012 09:14 #8
I thought 4-5 would be nice pre kids, then we had 2 spirited boys children close in age a few years later we now have DD
I feel like I am pushing myself and DF with 3 so there is no way I am planning #4 just yet. I have actually fallen pregnant twice this year once we terminated and just recently I have had a miscarriage (pregnancy while coming off the mirena due to hormonal issues) I'm getting the copper IUD put in when hubby is home next weekend.
While we haven't eliminated the idea of #4 it won't be until DD is due to go to kindy at the earliest.
07-10-2012 09:24 #9
fast forward 10 years, I'm now married to the love of my life and nursing my second DD! I haven't entirely ruled out one more... But also have two awesome step kids so I already have a much bigger family than I ever thought I would!
07-10-2012 09:30 #10
I always wanted at least 2, preferably 3 kids. Not anymore! My DD is 8 weeks old and I am totally happy with just her, for many reasons. Firstly my partner is 10 years my senior, already has an almost 15yr old DD and isn't really interested in any more. Secondly, neither of us earn a lot of money (which is not something that's likely to change and we are fiine with that) and for us to be able to do the things we want to do for the girls, having more kids would make that near impossible. For instance, we're saving up to take DSD to Japan next year for her 16th birthday - things like travel are important to us and wouldn't be possible if I had to be out of work for another large chunk of time and we had another person to pay for. Also we'd like to start thinking about buying some land at some point in the future.
Thirdly....babies are exhausting! My daughter is the most amazing thing that ever has or will happen to me, but I really don't know if I could do this newborn thing again, especially with another kid in tow! She'd need to be in school at least and my partner will be 43 by then and I just don't think it'll happen! But of course, you never know
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