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  1. #1
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    Default WHY do some people have to be so annoying when you have a baby?

    I don't get it. It really annoys the heck out of me, that when my friends have had their babies, I have given them all the time in the world to get settled in before visiting them, especially if they have had a c/section.... but when it has been my turn to have my babies, they have literally been there a few hours after giving birth and again continuously coming over with their kids & even parents etc when I have come home and sitting for hours, despite me saying that I don't feel well and am tired..

    What happened to giving someone space?!!

    Also, what is the deal with people you haven't had contact with for a year suddenly decending down on you to visit the instant you come home?! I mean... you have waited all blooming year, so what's the rush?!

    sorry for the winge, I'm just over everybody!

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    They're probably excited...

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    Aww I agree with CMF, they're probably excited for you, but I'm sure that's not what you want to hear

    I agree though that people can be massively annoying! What's with friends who have had one baby suddenly becoming experts and just because you happened to be pregnant after them they feel the need to share their "expert advice" 24/7 as if you're an idiot incapable of doing your own research or speaking to your own OB; So frustrating, takes all my effort not to tell them where to shove their unwanted opinions

    On a serious note, if it's really bothering you, give yourself permission to speak up and tell them you feel overwhelmed and need some space. Easier said than done I know, but now is the time to take care of you and your baby, it's not about them, as they've had babies already they should understand.

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    I'm thinking I am going to leave it a good few hours before announcing the birth to friends for that very reason. I'm sure they are just really excited for you but I totally get where you a coming from. This will be my first but I'm assuming you would be completely stuffed and also trying to get to know this new little person which would be a mission with people coming in and taking them from you!

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    Hun you need to get some balls and set clear guidelines. When announcing a birth always clarify it with soemthing like "mum and bub resting, those planning visits please check ahead of time." And something similar for when you get home. Send a photo/message out saying something like "look we're home! Hopefully we will be up to meeting people in a few weeks."

    - I know hindsight is a wonderful thing. They should give us these tips as part of hospital pre-admin!

    Even though you are home now there's nothing stopping you from starting now. Put a message out with a phthisic and say something like "we're going well but it's tiring work. Hoping to catch up with folks but please check ahead of time to make sure we're at our best "

    Then if anyone knocks on the door and they don't have an appoitment don't answer. Or get hubby to say you're sleeping.

    Unannounced visitors just after a baby is born... They really are daft.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    bokkie_wotwot  (03-10-2012)

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    Awwww i completely understand.
    What i did learn from my first pregnancy was that IT IS OK TO SAY NO! it's also ok to put yourself first and screen visitors when you need to.
    Those first few weeks with a new baby are so presious - you baby is not an Art Exhibition. So those 'friends' who suddely want to see you (baby) again after no contact for a year can go jump for all i'd care.
    Savour the moments alone with your family. People should have the decency to respect a new mum's wishes.
    If all else fails, turn off phones, dont answer the door or put a sign on your front door "mum and baby are resting now..."

    I agree they are probably excited for you and only have their best intentions at heart, but if they have had babies themselves, i wonder why they dont understand how it might just be a little all too much for you and to give you space, as you did for them.

    Congratulations
    Goodluck and remember to speak up

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Hun you need to get some balls and set clear guidelines. When announcing a birth always clarify it with soemthing like "mum and bub resting, those planning visits please check ahead of time." And something similar for when you get home. Send a photo/message out saying something like "look we're home! Hopefully we will be up to meeting people in a few weeks."

    - I know hindsight is a wonderful thing. They should give us these tips as part of hospital pre-admin!

    Even though you are home now there's nothing stopping you from starting now. Put a message out with a phthisic and say something like "we're going well but it's tiring work. Hoping to catch up with folks but please check ahead of time to make sure we're at our best "

    Then if anyone knocks on the door and they don't have an appoitment don't answer. Or get hubby to say you're sleeping.

    Unannounced visitors just after a baby is born... They really are daft.
    VicPark, you never fail to make me laugh! hehe... straight to the point!

  9. #8
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    I think that I am the only person that loved visitors when DD was born, my best friends visited nearly every day

    Although, I do completely understand your point. I thought it was common courtesy to ask ahead of time if Mum & Bub are up for a visitor or two, that's what I have always done, and I always try to keep the visits reasonably short because not everyone has been wide eyed like me for the first month after birth lol

    I'm upfront and would tell my visitors that I wanted to sleep if they looked like hanging around. As for the people that you haven't seen in ages before bub was here, I'd make a smart @$s comment along the lines of 'if I knew that I had to have a baby to have you visit, I would have done it sooner' haha. Just be upfront!

    Congratulations and wishing you all the best with your new baby


 

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