Baby Shower Invite Dilemmas

[Mama Mirabelle]

This is probably an age old problem, but I don't know what to do, what would you do? Mum is throwing me a baby shower and asked me to prepare a guest list. I have a bunch of relatives I don't want to invite because they are truly horrible people and will make me miserable by being there. If they're not invited they will find out and all hell will break loose, but if I invite them they will criticize every thing, sit in a corner and sulk, and generally be unpleasant moles. Would you invite people to keep the peace or stand your ground and do what makes you happy?

Also, if I do invite these relatives, for many reasons which i wont go into, I don't want to open the gifts I receive from others in front of them. Would it be acceptable to simply say I won't be opening gifts but will be opening them later with DH. Would you find this offensive or rude after going to the effort of bringing a gift?

[kriista]

As much as you'd like to keep the peace this is one day that's about YOU and your family (dh & bub) if they will ruin things don't invite them. You don't need the stress. Good luck x

[Nomsie]

Firstly, what a sh!! situation to be in.

I don't think you have to open presents in front of everyone. You can always throw out the "I'm just so tired, I have to lie down now" excuse to get people to go. Maybe get some good friends on board who you know will support you.

It's YOUR baby shower, you shouldn't be feeling guilty at all.

Would it be possible to have another get-together for just these people? An afternoon tea or something? For all they know, that is the baby shower? I realise it would require more effort though. Guess there is a downside to everything.

I think... if I was in your position... I would invite them but make all my other guests aware that they can be a bit difficult, and not to take anything to heart. Would your Mum back you up? Would she tell them to cut it out if they started their silly business? A powerful ally can really be helpful in these situations.

[Mama Mirabelle]

Thanks for the speedy replies

Mum would probably be happy not to have them there (they're from Dad's side), but once there I doubt she'd say anything to them about their behavior. It's like talking to a brick wall with them, not worth your energy.

Good idea about the 'fake' shower though! I might have to seriously think about that; on the other hand a whole afternoon spent solely with them sounds like hell on earth LOL

[Renesme]

This is probably an age old problem, but I don't know what to do, what would you do? Mum is throwing me a baby shower and asked me to prepare a guest list. I have a bunch of relatives I don't want to invite because they are truly horrible people and will make me miserable by being there. If they're not invited they will find out and all hell will break loose, but if I invite them they will criticize every thing, sit in a corner and sulk, and generally be unpleasant moles. Would you invite people to keep the peace or stand your ground and do what makes you happy?

Also, if I do invite these relatives, for many reasons which i wont go into, I don't want to open the gifts I receive from others in front of them. Would it be acceptable to simply say I won't be opening gifts but will be opening them later with DH. Would you find this offensive or rude after going to the effort of bringing a gift?

That sucks hon. After many years of my family screwing my over I now only invite people I want there and I don't care what they think. Personally I like seeing people open the gifts at parties and stuff. I probably would be a bit offended if people didn't open them while I was there, but different people have different views. Do what you feel comfortable with.

[lambjam]

I would go with a second shower. Keep all your fun games and decorations for the people you love and have a simple afternoon tea for the others.

Sorry you're in this position, it's disappointing when the special times in your life become all about others

[WineTime]

Just dont invite them. If they sulk about it, who cares? You dont like them anyway.

Dont have a separate party.

My husband has horrible people in his family and we just dont ever invite them. They're awful and deserve to miss out and its certainly never bothered us.

[Clementine Grace]

dont invite them. Its YOUR baby shower, only have people there that care about you. If they find out and you have to confront them just say "oh i didnt want a big fuss so mum only invited a few of my friends". Dont bow down to mean people, they dont deserve it!

[summastarlet]

Do what you want!! I invited relatives that I would have preferred not to have at my baby shower and I wish I hadn't!! One in particular just sat in a corner sulking and made nasty comments.

[melimum]

Don't invite them, its your day. If they put up a fuss, just say it was a small affair with close friends, or say it was a surprise baby shower and you didn't do the invites.