DS was born nearly 7 weeks ago and this morning DH and I ventured to DTD for the first time since. I had a 2nd degree tear and the scar still feels very lumpy, but not painful at all and I've had my OB checkup and she was happy with it, but when we went to DTD it hurt like it was tearing open again. We experimented with a few positions and eventually it was ok, but not particularly pleasurable! Is this normal? And can i expect it to improve?
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29-09-2012 07:37 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
Painful sex after 2nd degree tear
29-09-2012 08:00 #2
Hi, I had a natural tear with I had my DS1 years ago. I dont know what degree it was OB never told me. We DTD SIX months later and I was in pain... so you DTD at 7 weeks...I would say it would be really normal. I hope I wont get another tear this round. Take care of it or it may end up in an infection. I did even without the DTD.
29-09-2012 08:04 #3
OP I had a 3rd degree tear after DD and I was so scared to DTD... We tried at about 5 weeks and it was super painful and then again at 6 weeks and whilst it was still painful it was bearable iykwim... I found it was kinda like being a virgin again lol... It took a while for everythign to stretch back to size etc after my stitches... We just took it very gently for a long time and used plenty of lubrication.
29-09-2012 20:01 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
Thanks for the replies. I honestly had no idea that tears heal in way that the area is totally different to what it was before. It feels so thickened and tight. The Ob asked me whether we'd DTD yet (this was before we did) and seemed a bit surprised that we hadn't! I can't imagine doing it without pain before now!
I am so surprised that there are so many women walking around with this sort of thing going on, seeing tears and episiotomies are so common!
Glad to hear I'm not alone in the painful DTD though. Hopefully time will see it start to be enjoyable again.
29-09-2012 20:29 #5
Yup I had a second degree tear down and two minor tears up - like a Y
I feel like the down tear was stitched too "tight", it feels like it comes too far up now.
It was so painful at first, we've probably dtd a dozen times in 6 months its still slow going, and still so painful afterwards i want to sit on an icepack, but its been more and more enjoyable. Its so frustrating though wanting it but feeling like im not "working" right.
Its getting better. Im sure soon itll be perfect.
29-09-2012 20:39 #6
I wouldnt dare try at 7 weeks! You are very brave
We didnt DTD till 5 months later and it hurt~
29-09-2012 20:46 #7
Same as the others, I had a 2nd degree tear with DS1 and it took about 5 months for it to not be painful!!!
I had no tears with DS2 & DD and we were DTD 3 weeks after birth pain free
29-09-2012 21:56 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2012
I had a 2nd degree episiotomy,
We tries dtd at 6 weeks and it hurt so bad i thought i was going to rip apart.
We didn't end up dtd til ds was 12a weeks and it hurt alot the first few months,
Lots of lube, very gentle & use something to keep you aroused,
Also smaller degrees of penitration can help loosen the area off so if you can get your dp to use say 1 finger then 2and etc til it doesnt hurt.
The main thing is to make sure you are very well lubricated and very relaxed / aroused (not easy when you expect it to hurt) and just try to breath through it, if it hurts to much say stop to dp as pushing through the pain will only make you more anxious
26-10-2012 16:37 #9Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2010
I know this post is a month old, but just stumbled across it and thought I'd share my experience.
It has taken me 9 months post vaginal delivery (straight forward second degree tear with stitches) to feel no pain during sex. I still feel discomfort but no pain like before. We first tried at 8 weeks post partum and seriously I thought that maybe the docs had sewed me up too excessively tight! It was worse than being a virgin!
We tried about once a month thereafter. No amount of lubricant seemed to help during subsequent sessions and no position helped ease the pain. I eventually had to 'stretch myself' manually down there to stretch it back to normal. The vaginal scar looks ok, just feels like the scar tissue is tight and very non-elastic.
Even when I got my cycle back at 6 months post partum, sex still felt unenjoyable. I thought starting ovulation again would fix it all.
Finally at 9 months I felt ok enough down there to start jumping on the TTC wagon ! No pun intended. For me, I feel like sex will never return to what it was like before I had a vaginal birth.
To be honest i feel like this issue is NEVER discussed antenatally. It's a post birth issue , like infection and postnatal depression, but no one talks about it. And women don't really talk openly about it so thank you for bringing it up.
Thankfully I have the worlds most understanding hubby and an easy happy beautiful baby boy.
So you're definitely not alone in the discomfort during DTD population, but I hope it improves swiftly!
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