I was so scared of it that I would actually convince myself I wasn't sleeping when I was.
what helped was (and this is a lot easier said then done) not worrying if I couldn't sleep. telling myself, it's okay, just get up and have a read of a book for an hour/watch tv/knit/etc then try again. If I can't sleep it's not the end of the world.
generally I'd do something really boring, then try again.
there were some nights where I struggled to fall asleep, & Id stay calm but after 3/4 hours of not sleeping I'd find myself getting panicky & on the verge of panic attack. it's hard.
I also thought I was completely alone in this.. I've told some people before and theyd look at me as if I were crazy "why would you be afraid of not falling asleep? what a stupid thing to be afraid of" so that didn't help either.
for me, sleeping next to my partner is my biggest thing, just knowing I can wake him if I can't sleep helps ease my mind (even though I wouldn't actually wake him anyway) but now I've become reliant on him as my "safety net" so I get panicked when he goes away for a night.
the key is to try as hard as you can to relax & not get into a panicked state if you can't sleep as that will just aggravate the problem.
maybe listen to some radio while falling asleep?
one that helps a lot was to think of a 5 syllable phrase (mine was always "I will fall asleep") & with your in breath say "I" out breath say "will" in breath say "fall" so on so forth. (obviously dont say it out loud just in your mind) if you stray from this (which you generally will) just don't fret and to back to it until you fall asleep.
I don't know if you've already heard all this before, if you have I apologise, but these are things that have worked for me. you just have to practise it. get into the habit of spending an hour before bed getting into a deep relaxed state (even try meditation if you can do it - I can never seem to "get" there)
good luck, and just remember you're not alone!! Huge huge HUGE hugs xxxx A
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15-09-2012 15:50 #11
15-09-2012 15:55 #12
one more thing, those thoughts you talked about ie going crazy, being like this forever, never sleeping again etc, I used to have the SAME thing go through my mind. & I'd also cry hysterically & have massive panic attacks (I didn't realize at the time that's what they were)
your NOT going to go crazy & you WILL sleep again.
but these thoughts is actually what's stopping you from falling asleep.. the more wired your brain is, the less likely you will fall asleep. that's why you have to try not to think those things (again SO much easier said then done!!!) so try the relaxation, or the 5 syllable phrase while deep breathing (in through your nose out through the mouth)
you haven't mentioned this so I'm not sure if you have thought about this, but for me, this is anxiety related. I have a lot of anxiety issues.
might be coming out after a difficult time if you've never suffered from it before.
pm me if you ever want to chat xxx
Last edited by mamasurfs; 15-09-2012 at 15:57.
15-09-2012 16:26 #13
Poor thing. I'm having late pregnancy insomnia at the moment and it's the WORST!! Going to bed knowing you won't sleep for 4-5 hours anyway is so distressing.
My only thought is make sure it's not post natal depression. PND expresses itself differently in different women, and for some it's anxiety including sleep disturbance. Perhaps read through some resources about PND just to make sure you don't identify other things that are happening that support this. The fact you had IVF bubby and traumatic BF experience statistically put you at greater risk of this.
15-09-2012 16:33 #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
Where are you located and how long is the wait for the sleep clinic?
I have seen a great sleep Dr in East Melbourne (in the burbs but he is city too), and it was really quick to get in and see him, then to do the sleep clinic.
He is also very priced well too ($250 normal and $125 pension/if he feels like giving this rate lol).
Let me know if you would like his details.
Good luck. Perhaps try take some magnesium. Great for restful sleep.
15-09-2012 16:57 #15
First off massive hugs to you.
Just wanted to say that with my first baby I would lay awake all night while my baby slept peacefully.
This went on for weeks until I finally saw a GP who diagnosed PND.
The anxiety levels would be so strong all day just thinking about how much sleep I wouldn't be getting that night.
In bed my heart would pound out of my chest and my stomach in knots for no reason at all.
I'm not saying you have PND but maybe talk to your health care providers about the possibilities. Xx
15-09-2012 17:44 #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
Thank you mamasurfs and others. I just got teary reading the responses. Thank you so much for your replies. It's do helpful to know Im not the only one like this and I totally am having the same problem with anybody understanding how it feels. I have felt increasingly sick during the day and that is almost worse than the trying to sleep bit. As much as the drugs seem easier, I actually then feel guilty about that and it unleashes a whole new lot of worries. Mamasurf, do you have to think about sleep anymore? When I lie there now I tell my mind to do things like 'imagine DD in five years' or 'let's think about next Sunday' until I fall asleep. I worry that I have forgotten how to sleep and that I will never again see my bedroom as a pleasurable place. I hate it at the moment!
I am aware of progressive muscle relaxation and need to give it more of a go as I'm kind of in the 'nothing works' frame of mind at the moment which is so no obviously helpful! I'm finding I'm getting hysterical after only about 30 mins which is ridiculous but j am so anxious and on edge, I can't ever see myself sleeping...
I'm in Adelaide so can't see the Dr in Melb. My GP faxed off a referral to the sleep clinic which has a psych attached yesterday so I will call them Monday to check wait times. They said a few weeks initially but I will try and found desperate!
I know the crazy thoughts are crazy... And yes I am aware of PND symptoms. I have secondary depression and anxiety symptoms but they are due to the not sleeping, not the other way round.
15-09-2012 17:47 #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
I'm in two minds about whether to take the meds tonight now... I've felt anxious all day and teary. I know IVF bubs puts me at increased risk of PND too as this is one of my many thoughts... My delivery wasn't traumatic but I do have a history of anxiety but it's never got to this point before. What treatment did you ladies have for PND?
15-09-2012 18:04 #18
I'm not sure how much temaze you have but why don't you write yourself a schedule of what days you will and will not take it over the next two weeks. That will give you one less thing to stress about, if it's decided ahead of time.
For example Sat yes, Sun no, Mon yes, Tues no. Alternating nights might be a good idea because then you will be relieved of making that decision every day and will know that at least every 2nd night you'll get some decent sleep, and it also reduces the risk of any possible dependence issues.
Personally when I've been having big sleep issues, even if I had a bad night it was always a lot less stressful when I knew somehow the next night would be better (whether cause DH would be home, or bub would be at his Grandma's or something).
15-09-2012 18:08 #19
Another thing you may find helpful is physical exercise. Even getting out for a walk around the block helps release positive hormones and can help with anxiety and sleep.
I find the fresh air and exercise gives me some perspective back as well and things don't seem so bad.
15-09-2012 18:10 #20
with the mess unleashing more worry, I can comprehend that too! in a different sense, for me it was antidepressants that I had those thoughts with. I have no advice on that one though!!
it sounds like this sleep deprivation has opened a whole can of anxiety you poor thing!!! I also know what you mean about the "nothing works" frame of mind. as I said, it's much easier said then done. I even ended up associating trying to relax and deep breathing with making me panicky, so id just start feeling jittery and panicked whenever I started doing those exercises! it was horrible.
I really REALLY feel for you, & I hope you will start feeling better soon!
if the mess are helping, maybe take them once every 3rd or 4th night, so you can at least tell your mind "it doesn't matter if I can't sleep, because at least I know I can get some sleep one way or another" if that makes sense??!
I hope you can start sleeping again soon! it WILL pass! xx
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