Feeling like this is very normal in the first few weeks. I felt very emotional and teary and for me it passed. If it doesn't pass then go and see your GP.
In regards to your inlaws - massive hugs! If I were in your shoes I would be on the verge of something too. If people are there then they're there to help, not be entertained.
Start delegating. Your time is taken with bonding, resting, feeding, sleeping, caring for your baby. If they can't respect this or your wishes then time for your DH to have a quiet word with them.
People forget that it's not about them and their wishes or wants. They need to be reminded. I've found this became a lot easier for me when I became a parent.
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15-09-2012 09:29 #11
15-09-2012 22:06 #12
PND? Inlaws visiting
Exactly the same happened to us too when DS was 6 wks - MIL coming from interstate to "help" and instead I waited on her hand and foot for a week while she commented on every parenting choice I'd made thus far, and read all my novels with a cuppa I'd made her in hand. And I had already been hospitalised for PND, no encouragement or understanding from her at all. I wish I had been brave enough to post something similar at that time as all pps have given great advice! I really, really feel for you and hope your DH realises how much this stress this visit is causing you. Definitely time to put you first, have you thought about making an appt with even your MCHN or GP just to talk it out, cry, get angry, etc before the ILs visit is over? I got some wonderful support that way. And if the ILs have to go stay in a hotel, or a tent, so be it! Your sanity is so much more important than their comfort or enjoyment. Hugs.
Last edited by little lady; 15-09-2012 at 22:12.
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15-09-2012 22:11 #13
PND? Inlaws visiting
PS. About the old toys: the minute the ILs are out of sight, chuck the ones you don't want straight in the bin. It's pretty therapeutic! A well-meaning friend used to give us garage-sale toys. Guess what was in one of the stuffed ones? Bedbugs. Uuurgggggh.
15-09-2012 22:22 #14
Re: PND? Inlaws visiting
Some people need to be told, I would mention after dinner how hubby needs help to clean up as I am off to bed to get my rest while baby is sleeping. Deal with the toys when they leave.
Take Care of yourself
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16-09-2012 16:28 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
PND? Inlaws visiting
Thank you so much to everyone who has posted. I feel so much better reading everyone's supportive messages.
DH has been wonderful and really understanding of my meltdown. He spoke to his parents to get them mobilized into looking after themselves, so at least they're finding their own breakfast before we drag ourselves out of bed. They're certainly not catering for us or doing dishes etc, but it's a start I suppose. It's in their nature to be leeches I think.
Does anyone else find it odd that we had to pay for the Chinese takeaway for all of us last night? If my family were staying they would have insisted on paying at least for themselves but more likely for everyone, as a gesture of thanks for the accommodation etc, but they didn't even offer! Is it just me or is this poor etiquette?!
Anyway, I'm reassured to read a lot of posts suggesting that teary outbursts are still normal a month after giving birth and I am gritting my teeth and making it perfectly clear that I am not here to wait on them. I can't wait til Wednesday when I can have my baby back and my house tidy again!!!
16-09-2012 16:51 #16
Order pizza tonight and put the same assumption back on them tonight that they did with the Chinese last night!
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17-09-2012 05:43 #17
You poor thing that sounds awful, and very unfair to be expected of you deal with overnight visitors I didn't have anyone over at all for two weeks when I got home(except when I was in hospital for the week).
Like someone else mentioned nipple shields help with the initially first few weeks of pain. For both my boys I used them for 3 months but now I'm still breast feeding my 9 mth old and haven't used them since. I found with my 2nd boy feeding him together in the bath really helped getting his attachment down pat as he was more relaxed and so was I.
Good luck with your inlaws, hope the week goes fast for you.
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