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  1. #1
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    Buttoneska is offline Winner 2010- Most Community Minded Thread Award
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    Default hypothetical - what do you do?

    Your 70yrs old and get a call from the cops informing you your cousin has passed away and requesting your help with his affairs, funeral etc. You are told the police have spoken to nine other ppl prior to you and all have refused to get involved.

    You are not close to this cousin and he is not a nice person. He has served time in goal for rape, beat up every wife he has had, is enstranged from his children, kidnapped his first wife (mother of children) after she fled and drove around with her locked in the boot for 3hrs, held his 2nd wife hostage for a week when she tried to leave him, attached your brother, threatened to kill your children and nieces/nephews, tried to shoot you when he found out you were talking to his ex wife and giving her money to look after herself and children (and fired gun into you house while your children were home).

    Do you help police/organise funeral/help settl estate (his money wil go to children) or do you wash your hands of whole thing and leave it to the goverment/cops to bury him.

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    god no . i'd wash my hands off the whole thing.

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  4. #3
    Buttoneska's Avatar
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    Are you morally obligied to get involved given you are the closest family member that would attend his funeral out of respect though, do u go the extra mile and assist? if so why, for your cousin, your own conscious or because its not a fair burdon for the state/tax payer. Plus whatever the costs for the government to do will come out of his estate (much higher then doing it yourself) and mean his children (real victims of the awful man) are left with even less money.

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    Default hypothetical - what do you do?

    No, if we were not close and he did those horrible things to my kids ( and his) I wouldn't, the government would take over and make sure all the money went where is was supposed to, I wouldn't call it washing my hands though as if we never saw or heard from him and he obviously did not try to make ammends I wouldn't really know if he was alive or dead anyway?

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    Default hypothetical - what do you do?

    I would only ever get involved if his kids asked me too, as yes they are the real ones who have suffered ( and their mum)

  8. #6
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    Its sad isn't it. It my dad who has been asked to help. He and his brother have agreed to organise funeral but declined to get involved sorting out the house/property. Apparently state trustees will do that.

    Dad is getting a lot of flack from both sides and doesn't know what to do.

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    Default hypothetical - what do you do?

    Gosh what an awful situation for him, what does his nieces and nephews want to do?

  10. #8
    Buttoneska's Avatar
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    You mean the dead guys kids (so dads cousins kids). We don't know them, the mum fled interstate about 30yrs ago and we have had no contact. All we know is they have since refused any involvement and have asked police not to give any of us their contact details. Legally they will get any money left over from estate which will be considerable and dad thinks he should help them get the most possible within limits of his capacity and desire to help.

    So far they have found about 5ppl who will be attending funeral next week, noone else wants any involvement.

    But even ppl who won't go to funeral are saying dad and uncle are oblugied to settle estate, so much for the taxpayer as anything else.

    Not that's its an excuse but this guy was a hopeless drunk as well and died alone without a friend in the world. Was dead for 5days before anyone knew.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttoneska View Post
    You mean the dead guys kids (so dads cousins kids). We don't know them, the mum fled interstate about 30yrs ago and we have had no contact. All we know is they have since refused any involvement and have asked police not to give any of us their contact details. Legally they will get any money left over from estate which will be considerable and dad thinks he should help them get the most possible within limits of his capacity and desire to help.

    So far they have found about 5ppl who will be attending funeral next week, noone else wants any involvement.

    But even ppl who won't go to funeral are saying dad and uncle are oblugied to settle estate, so much for the taxpayer as anything else.

    Not that's its an excuse but this guy was a hopeless drunk as well and died alone without a friend in the world. Was dead for 5days before anyone knew.
    I'd walk away. I'm sorry for your situation xx

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    Default hypothetical - what do you do?

    So sad, I think your dad is in an impossible situation, big hugs


 

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