I wondered about this as well. We decided not to find out. From 19 weeks we've been feeling lots of kicks, which has really helped us bond with baby, despite not knowing gender. Seeing bub on the scan helped too.
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27-09-2012 18:47 #31
27-09-2012 19:37 #32Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
absolutely 100% helped me bond and i think DH too. (although i then had amjor paranoia that they were wrong)
I really struggled to feel excited about my pregnancy although it was planned and knowing DS was a DS helped me imagine him as more than just a generic baby... i could think about and plan for a little boy etc.
I had a friend pregnant at the same time as me (DD born the day after my DS) she didnt find out the sex because she wanted the surprise. She regrets not finding out. She said 5 mind after her DD was born it made no difference that she didnt know. but I had months of being excited about getting ready to meet my little boy
27-09-2012 20:47 #33Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
We didn't find out the gender of our first bub and still felt very bonded. As soon as I felt flutters I felt a real connection. As soon as Hubby felt it kick him he bonded as well.
28-09-2012 21:37 #34
I rhink it depends on your situation. If DH and i had our hopes up for a certain sex or had strong feelings that it would be a certain sex, then we would have found out. But we really don't mind either way, so want to make the most of the opportunity for a surprise (which we don't get many of in life these days), and to not be in control (which also doesn't happen a lot in life nowadays).
We have been referring to our LO as 'baby' (eg. 'phwoar! baby's very busy in there today'), rather than 'it', so it feels like a person despite us not using ' he/she'. I'm also not too keen to cover everything in blue or pink... Goodness knows our child will get a decent enough dose of gender socialization as they grow up.
Having said that, I'm as curious as hell and would love to know, so it's taken a lot of will power to not find out, but at 22 weeks I'm really enjoying the suspense.
29-09-2012 08:04 #35
I have been in both situations i didn't find out the sex of my first until he was born. The whole pregnancy was a bit surreal and it was hard to believe that i was having a baby until he was in my arms. Not finding the sex made the anticipation on the day incredible and at that point i was so happy i didn't find out.
This time i was positive i was having a girl as this pregnancy is so very different. I found out i am actually having a boy and it has definitely helped me bond with him. I know he is coming in just under 10weeks and i can't wait. I definitely feel much closer to him than i did with DS1 during the pregnancy.
29-09-2012 08:06 #36
We didnt find out the gender in order to better bond with baby. We just cannot wait to find out. That's just us. But after finding out the gender and giving our babies their names (both boys), I find that I really bond very well with him before he was born. So for me, I think finding out the gender is nice.
29-09-2012 11:04 #37
I think, for me, it wasn't so mich finding out the sex that made me feel more connected, it was being able to give DD a name. She wasn't just a baby anymore, she was her own little person with a name.
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