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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    Default Being criticized for getting pregnant while another friend is trying

    Sounds also like she was hurt to learn it through the grapevine which could be understood considering you were supposed to be best friends?

    I know I will write to my friends as soon as I hit the 12wks mark and the first to know will be the one that are so keen for a baby... I want them to have a bit of time to digest the news as it will probably not be such a happy news for them. IYKWIM :-(

    Anyway I agree with PP, her reaction is out of line and unjustified. Especially after she had time to think...
    Sorry about your friends reaction and congratulations on your big news!

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Peanut monkey I know it is hurting her that its me and not her. And I really hope she can somehow not hate me for it. Shes my friend, I wish I could help her in any way I could to make her ttc journey shorter. Unfortunately I cant and have just been supportive when she has talked about it in the past. I dont know what else to do?

    Lili81 she actually didnt say much about someone else knowing. (And only one person knew and wasnt meant to tell her!!!). If its just that shes upset I didnt tell her first, I hope she realises I tried to continually every day but after almost a week of not being able to see her and her cancelling on me, I was too excited and needed to talk to someone about it! DH is not so enthusiastic on which cot or car seat - his theory is which ever one does the job and isnt hideous...

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Firstly CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

    It's hard when you make that announcement that you are pregnant.....sometimes the reaction you get isn't the one you expect.

    My 2nd DD is 9 weeks old and when I was trying to get pregnant my oldest best friend had also made the choice to go it alone so we talked heaps and I was truly happy to pass on info I had gained on my journey. I found out I was pregnant in nov and my friend was also pregnant but she chose not to tell anyone yet but a month later she lost her baby and felt she couldn't tell me. I completely understand but felt sad that I wasn't able to support her with even virtual hugs as we live a couple of hours away from each other. It was something she wasn't able to talk about with me til months later. Maybe your friend will need lots of time to get herself in the right head space. It doesn't make her reaction right just overly hormonal lol I'm happy to say my friend told me yesterday she was 13 weeks pregnant and I was over the moon for her.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Congrats to you!
    Honestly it would can be tough to hear that someone falls pregnant before you. But if they were true friends they should still be happy for you. Its not your fault they can't fall pregnant. We were TTC for 9 months and my sister fell pregnant first try for her. Another 4 mths and a close friend fell pregnant - not trying. I was so happy for both of them, even screamed a little for them

    I understand where you're coming from too as my friend took me aside to tell me as she wasn't sure of my reaction.

    Took us 18mths with our first (with help), 1 month with our 2nd and then another 12 months with our 3rd (with help).

    Hopefully your friend will conceive soon and she may realise how silly she is being.

    Enjoy your pregnancy, don't feel guilty!


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