I was bullied by a guy when I was 15 because I wouldn't sleep with him and it got so bad I ended up having to change schools. I used to go to a private school so my mother didn't take me seriously until I told her I would kill myself if she made me do Yr 11 there. She got the message and allowed me to change schools .. best thing I ever did!
View Poll Results: What did you find was the most effective way of dealing with a bully?
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07-09-2012 09:29 #21
07-09-2012 09:50 #22Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
this is a fear of mine when my girl goes to school..being bullied or being the bully..
I didn't have any issues at school..so I have no real advice..
Does anyone on here no anyone who took their own life?...(sorry if it upsets people I am just curious)
07-09-2012 09:52 #23
I said "ignoring them," but that didn't stop any bullying, it was just the way I dealt with it. I didn't see any other effective methods and I do think that most of the time, moving schools doesn't help much. It may, but often if there's something you're getting teased for that's about you as a person, kids at other schools will start on about it too. I think that would only help if it was ONE PARTICULAR CHILD who was just an outright bully/jerk... or if you were getting bullied for an incident (eg. People thinking you're a sl*t for something you did at a party, or you peed your pants or something...).
07-09-2012 19:42 #24
Bullying *Possible Trigger Warning*
I was bullied in year 8. A lot of people from my PS went to my HS and a few girls who bullied my best friend in primary school (as she had platinum blonde hair, was an amazing singer and always sat up straight with good posture I think they were jealous of her talent and maybe thought she was posh for sitting so straight an feared her being different with her hair colour) decided that they would tell girls in my home room not to be friends with me. Camp was terrible 3 weeks into the year, I got teased because I didn't have any brand name clothes.
So I ended up being excluded from every new group of friends I joined as people were always told to hate me. I got nicknamed 'snuffy' as in Mr Snufellupagus from Sesame street because of my nose (ever since I hate my big nose though in told by friends and DH it's not big - I don't believe them still)
Boys in my home room used to say 'you're annoying' when I started talking to them so I'd stop talking to them and go away.
I even got snubbed because in home economics I was keen on choosing my group for cooking, they didn't seem to like my enthusiasm (wasn't cool apparently)
It was always a thing that it wasn't cool to be smart and those people who were, were called a square.
I had my pencil case stolen too.
I coped by ignoring the taunts, behaving like I didn't hear them and after 3 new groups of friends, I decided to approach three girls who were looked upon as the least cool an thought they'd never treat me like rubbish and they didn't. We didn't end up being in the same home room the next year but year 9 was awesome as I made new friends who weren't influenced by the bullies and things finally got better. I think the bullies just figured I wasn't worth it any more.
DD is only 6 months old and I'm scared to death about her being bullied! I dont want her to go through what I went through, so I'm not sure what to teach her (as far as not being a target as to this day I still don't know why I got picked on) and what to do if it happens.
I used to try and be like everyone else but now I like that I'm an individual! So I want to encourage my DD to be an individual and be herself but I'd hate that to make her a target of bullies.
DH has red hair and whilst I expected DD to have red hair and wanted her to as it is just awesome(!!!......) she ended up with brown hair. But there's that part of me that thinks phew.... That's one less thing for kids to try and tease her about.
I think the question is, how can we teach our children to not be targets (can we do that!?) I also get frustrated as there so much emphasis on how to cope with it, but why is there never any focus on why are bullies bullies and prevent it in the first place.
Parents need to start teaching their children how to be kind people and respectful of everyone no matter what they think of someone (let's face it we aren't going to like everyone) until we as parents and schools etc start by trying to reduce the incidence of bullying before it starts, it will continue and we need to be more proactive in ensuring each of our kids don't become a bully.
I for one will be devastated if I ever hear that my DD has bullied someone !!!
I've always thought about somehow running a 'business' where adults of all different ages, interests, backgrounds and experiences (if they were bullied or bullies themselves) can talk to students about their experience and how now we are adults none of that stuff matters (being 'cool', having the 'right' clothes, the 'right' coloured hair, the 'right' level of smartness etc and talk about the devastating effects it has)
Last edited by CuddlesAwait; 07-09-2012 at 19:50.
07-09-2012 20:27 #25Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
Bullying *Possible Trigger Warning*
A lot of bullies come from homes where they are bullied themselves, they might be neglected and crave the attention that being leader of a 'gang' gives them or they may have low self esteem due to either their parents or others beating them down. So I am thinking that their parents aren't going on parenting chat sites to get tips on best practice as much as the parents of the quiet, polite, unassuming children's parents that these kids seem to target. Perhaps that might be why there seems to be a focus in the coping strategies. Just thinking aloud.
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