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  1. #1
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    Default WDYT about getting your partner involved in your battles...

    This hasn't happened to me, before speculation or whatever starts. lol. I've just seen it a few times, and particularly recently, and it made me cringe.

    Now, I'm not talking about FAMILY issues (particularly with HIS or HER family, rather than your own), nor am I talking about an issue that actually involves him... but let's say YOUR boss is being a jerk. Or YOUR GIRLFRIENDS are having a falling out (you're involved in it). Something like that. Something that really has nothing to do with him except for the fact he's your partner.

    Is it okay for him to fight for you? As in, go in and tell your gfs off. Give your boss a call and a talking to?

    Whenever I see this happen, I shake my head and think, "Oh guys... you're creating more issues by involving them..." and think it's a really dumb idea in the majority of situations.

    If you're NOT COPING (seriously not coping) or abuse or whatever is involved... then fair enough... but when it's just a bit of a tiff or something that honestly, isn't that serious... is it okay to get your partner involved?

    What do you think?

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    Default Re: WDYT about getting your partner involved in your battles...

    I'd be SO ****ed off if my df fought my battles. And I wouldn't dream of calling his boss or talking to his mates about issues with him.

    I can't imagine a rational person doing so unless as you said exceptional circumstances, abuse etc.



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  3. #3
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    Default WDYT about getting your partner involved in your battles...

    Yeah, I think it's kind of a controlling thing to do. And it speaks volumes about his faith in his partners ability to stand up for herself, IYKWIM?

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  5. #4
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    Default Re: WDYT about getting your partner involved in your battles...

    Well, I will often stick my nose in with friends so I guess I wouldn't mind DP having an opinion about my issues, and voicing them. I dunno, I would be annoyed if he called someone up to blast them or whatever, but I'd be perfectly happy for him to mention to someone 'that was a sh!tty thing you did' if it came up. I'd want him to take my side and fight *with* me if needed, but not *for* me, if that makes sense.

    It's a non issue though, he's Mr non-confrontation

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    I think we should all be grown ups and fight our own dramas...

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    Default Re: WDYT about getting your partner involved in your battles...

    Oh goodness No... No way would I want my hubby to do anything like that! How embarrassing!

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    I don't agree with it. I know someone who does this and she even uses her kids. We had an arguement and she got her 3yr old to say don't be mad at my mummy she didn't do anything. Not only had she done something but I was ropable after that!

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    Default WDYT about getting your partner involved in your battles...

    It shows the woman has no balls and the man is a control freak.

    It's the same as when people get their spouses to call in sick for them at work: it looks pathetic and just raises questions about their intentions and the dynamics of the relationship.

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    Default WDYT about getting your partner involved in your battles...

    I fight my own and DH let's me.

    However recently an issue between me and his family arose and he handled it because it was his family not mine he felt he should clear it up. Also because we were going though our 2nd embryo transfer from 2 stim cycles he didn't want me to be worried upset or concerned with it all.

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    Default WDYT about getting your partner involved in your battles...

    I would never ever expect or accept my DH getting involved in issues as described in the OP.


 

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