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  1. #31
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    Default Am I being petty?

    Quote Originally Posted by Michelle_N View Post
    Just wondering....does your DP or your family know how you feel?

    You said in your last post:

    "Dp doesn't even know I was upset so she has no way of knowing iykwim. "

    So I am kinda wondering that maybe as you have never said anything people are just assuming you arent fussed if noone make a big deal of your birthday.

    My DP tells me all the time that he isnt a mind reader ....maybe you need to tell your DP that you want a fuss made. Sure its not a suprise but at least he knows and can do something about it.
    I agree!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Bizzybee View Post
    Not changing your plans isn't petty at all but it's a little petty you won't compromise on doing something with them to celebrate.

    If he has dinner with you once a week as it is why don't you ask if she'd like to bring a birthday cake for desert (or get dp to suggest it to her)
    This as well.

  2. #32
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    you sound really upset and for that i offer you some hugs.

    However, you are contradicting yourself...you are angry that no one ever does anything for you...but then say you don't want to do anything with anyone.

    I really think you need to let things have a fresh start and learn a lot about compromise. You are making it very very hard for her to be nice and setting yourself up for disappointment. You might find it is not what you are saying, but how you are saying it.

    She is trying to be nice...if you want her to keep trying to be nice...you need to be gracious and reach a compromise!

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to River Song For This Useful Post:

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  4. #33
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    Default Am I being petty?

    Quote Originally Posted by River Song View Post
    However, you are contradicting yourself...you are angry that no one ever does anything for you...but then say you don't want to do anything with anyone.
    That's what I don't get. After 10 years of nothing, I'd be OVER THE MOON if I were you that your MIL is making an effort, instead you are complaining about it?

  5. #34
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    Default Re: Am I being petty?

    Quote Originally Posted by RunawayPrincess View Post
    That's what I don't get. After 10 years of nothing, I'd be OVER THE MOON if I were you that your MIL is making an effort, instead you are complaining about it?
    No, I'm complaining that I have made plans for my birthday and she's upset about that and that I won't change them to do something I don't like. I'm really pleased she wants to do something, and extremely grateful she gave me thought, unfortunately she happened to pick the year I consciously chose to stop wallowing in self pity, give the past 10yrs the finger and get out there, take charge of my day and do it my way. Murphy's law I suppose.

  6. #35
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    Default Am I being petty?

    That's where compromise comes into play. "I'm REALLY sorry but I have made plans, however I do still want to do something with you too, so how about we do coffee and cake at my/your house on xyz day/night"

  7. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkplease3 View Post
    No, I'm complaining that I have made plans for my birthday and she's upset about that and that I won't change them to do something I don't like. I'm really pleased she wants to do something, and extremely grateful she gave me thought, unfortunately she happened to pick the year I consciously chose to stop wallowing in self pity, give the past 10yrs the finger and get out there, take charge of my day and do it my way. Murphy's law I suppose.
    I get that, but I wonder if part of the reason she's upset is that she thinks you don't want to do anything with her? A counter suggestion may have softened the rejection for her. E.g., "No, I've made these plans, but I'd love to do something with you too. How about we have a special birthday dinner on Tuesday instead?"

    I understand that you're giving the past the finger, but it seems like you're also giving her the finger too! And in giving the past the finger you might be giving the future one as well. Fair enough if that's what you want, but just pointing that out.

  8. #37
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    Default Am I being petty?

    No off you go and enjoy yourself..

  9. #38
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    Default Re: Am I being petty?

    I don't think you're being 'petty' but I don't think you should blow her off completely either.

    ExDPs family have never done anything for my birthday either.. I always plan something and invite them along; if they don't come I don't care though.

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub

  10. #39
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    Default Re: Am I being petty?

    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    I get that, but I wonder if part of the reason she's upset is that she thinks you don't want to do anything with her? A counter suggestion may have softened the rejection for her. E.g., "No, I've made these plans, but I'd love to do something with you too. How about we have a special birthday dinner on Tuesday instead?"

    I understand that you're giving the past the finger, but it seems like you're also giving her the finger too! And in giving the past the finger you might be giving the future one as well. Fair enough if that's what you want, but just pointing that out.
    Fair enough, I can see how that might be taken the wrong way and not how I intended it. Compromise I know is important, I guess I'm just not used to people genuinely wanting to do anything, so didn't understand the fuss iykwim if I said thanks but no thanks.

    Any suggestions I could suggest to her that doesn't involve cake, coffee or well....food?

  11. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs E View Post
    No I don't think so. It's YOUR birthday so you get to do what YOU want in my book. Have an awesome time in Sydney
    This. If they really want to do something for you then nobody is stopping them.


 

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