i try to make sure kids are fed/napped/etc before venturing out.
first i divert/distract
then ill remind ie 'you need to sit quietly in the trolly please. now, where will we find the bread do you think?'
remove the cause/object (my dd loves to pull her shoes off, o ill take them and keep them in the nappy bag till we leave)
then bribery 'shall we get some yummy strawberries for afternoon tea?'
if all that fails i get out of there asap. (though thats only happened once or twice in 2 yrs)
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04-09-2012 01:07 #11-
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04-09-2012 02:20 #12Senior Member
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Managing bad behavior??
I've been known to take treats out of the trolley now they are older. When they were young I'd feed change etc take snacks talk to them and usually we'd avoid any tantrums. These days they usually throw tantrums because they want something or they don't want to be there. Once they learned throwing a tantrum doesn't get them what they want the only time they misbehave when we are out is if they are bored. I try to give them jobs to occupy them and avoid that though. I guess I'm lucky we haven't ever had any full on melt downs yet, an the rare occasion it's been close there has been two of us so one of us would take him/them to the car and wait.
04-09-2012 15:14 #13
hi, I didnt ever use time out, or naughty corner sort of stuff. I did 123. If i had to say three, they got a consequence, maybe a smack, maybe put to bed, maybe toys taken away, whatever suited the situation. Any bad behaviour in public, I would get down to their level, look them right in the eye, and very sternly tell the child to stop whatever the behaviour was. If it continued i would pinch the back of their arm, just enough to get thier attention, and again insist the behaviour stopped. If there was still a problem, then we would be going to the car, and going home. I can say, I have never had to do that. I have managed to get what I needed done, and I dont think I ever had to go home because my children were not behaving. Marie.
04-09-2012 15:28 #14Senior Member
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- Feb 2006
In reality though, I try distraction first. If that doesn't work, yes I ignore. You DO need thick skin to ignore all the judgey people, but I always just focus on the task at hand, ignore the screaming, and as PP said don't make eye contact with others as that gives them (apparently) an open invitation to be nasty.
I have never gone home. If I'm out it's generally because I have errands to run, so I must continue, or it's because I want to enjoy myself out somewhere, which IMO it's not healthy for the parent to be punished by missing out just because the child is acting up. And never EVER have I threatened "if you don't stop that we'll go home!!" even though I have NO intention of following through with the threat and actually going home (one of my friends does this and it drives me up the freaking wall!).
04-09-2012 15:35 #15
Re: Managing bad behavior??
I think a lot of the looks are just people wondering what the noise is all about. I think the majority of onlookers will understand and or sympathise, with a few old biddies and non-parents etc doing the old tut-tut I know if I hear a kid acting up, I feel nothing but sympathy for the parent
**Nothing spells as goof as typo splats**
04-09-2012 15:43 #16
Managing bad behavior??
My older two kids know better and have always been great shoppers. Never had a tantrum , they know at the end of what ever I'm doing if they behave they get a treat and they always do.
My third son almost 2 has decided he is a big boy and doesn't want the pram. One day I pulled up to the shops and he persisted in telling me "no pram" , I said "no mummy is in a rush I need to be quick you will go in the pram" we parked I got the pram and I went to put him in, he screamed and carried on and I thought are you frigging kidding me!
In my head I was like NO WAY! I am the boss you do what I say!!! Knowing he is a huge fan of the shopping center I pulled him out of the pram put him back in the car screaming and went home with him upset the whole way telling me "go back, in pram"
Needless to say it's been 4 weeks and he knows when I pull out the pram he either gets in or goes home.
Im one of the ones who cant deal with my kids being feral outside of the home so I always nip any bad behaviour first time every time , including nasty behavior towards other kids etc
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