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  1. #31
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    Default Step mums need your reassurance

    I'm a step Mum of DSS13 & DSD11 and have been with them since they were almost 6 & 8. We have a wonderful relationship & I am particular close with DSD who asked her Mum if she could call me Mum as well without any prompting from me or DH. We get on well with BM & her partner & they have the kids most of the time. We see them every few weekends and most school holidays. We have always let the kids lead the way but they know there is lots of hugging & kissing for hellos and goodbyes on my side of the family as we live so far away from each other & they really get into it when with us. They are very openly loving towards me & also BM's partner in front of both sides. We try to make it as comfortable as possible for them & it makes it a much happier time!

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    Izy  (03-09-2012)

  3. #32
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    Default Re: Step mums need your reassurance

    I'm sure they do a well. They just have a different perspective on things.

    It might be cause I have majority care that ex feels he's missing out on lots so doesn't want to know things at my house. He wants to 'discover' his sons new skills, interests etc.

    The communication book was going with things like 'unsettled night. panadol. Possible teething.' If it were still going I'd of put down that he declined a nappy for bed time a few nights so had 'fluffy undies' (cloth nappy). 2 out of 3 of those nights he was dry.

    But the communication went with info. Came home empty. Nothing noteworthy apparently. I was even told that texting ex when ds first used the potty for a pee, and then again for a poo, was excessive and not needed.

    Sucked in face book friends... They cop it instead lol

    Forgive any weird substitutions... Silly phone, but I still love it

  4. #33
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    Default Step mums need your reassurance

    I'm sorry Izy I think they are being rude beyond belief, you must feel like you send your child off to a black hole. Why on earth wouldn't your ex want to know about your child's daily achievements particularly if he is angry we doesn't get to spend more time with him, that's including him and making him part of daily life I would think. I take my hat off you to be putting up with the 'rules'. Heaps of hugs!

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    They just have different parenting styles. I like the idea of a village around children, they prefer their own personal unit.

    I'm going to close the thread now, cause I really don't want this to become a 'right and wrong' kind of thing. And I don't want either sides to be judged. I really just needed to hear that people can be amazingly compassionate and loving to their step children, the same as they are to their own biological child, but be different in front of bio mum. That my snapshot means nothing in the bigger picture and not to jump to conclusions.

    Thanks so much ladies And hopefully as DS gets older he'll be able to articulate what is ok based on HIS wants and desires rather than hers or mine.

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    HowCrazyCool  (03-09-2012)


 
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