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  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by zombiekitty View Post
    And I loathe fat, lazy slobs that don't work but I don't see how that has anything to do with the question the OP has asked?
    It's obviously just a vent about your own situation, and totally irrelevant to the question the OP asked, which is how you would like to see the CS system organised?

    Now that would be a funny spin off what kind of people do you loath YIKES

    Child support system i think each case should be assesed individually with mediation and a agree ment of access and payment should be done by both parties then the money should come out of wages like tax does

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sensational View Post
    I can totally understand why some parents go underground to avoid paying any CS.. they amount that is formulated is high way robbery upon the other working parent.

    But just because a family has broken down and separation occurs does not mean parent who has not got the children in his or her care, not need to support the child/children.

    My ex, father too, 2 of my kids took off too Taiwan, a country where his brother is living and teaching english, he went there as well, and CS cannot touch him for any CS... 5 yrs has gone by... now a single word from him, no nothing sent for kids bdays, xmas, random anything, no financial support, not a thing. Recently CS closed my case as its been a long time and they have no way of obtaining anything from him while he is in that country.

    I ended up with a new man, have a daughter to him, was with him for a few yrs, we recently have gone our own ways, as in live in separate houses but still together, but not defacto, as we need time apart... he helps provide for his daughter, and his 2 kids he has to his ex wife, in another state.. though this is leading somewhere, he was at one point paying around $1400 a month CS for his 2 kids from his ex wife, thats alot of money per month.. then a week or so or not even after she would have recieved her money, she would call him and ask if she could have $200, $100, $250 for this and that, and this bill is due and etc, for a little while a few yrs ago, he would give her additional money, but never informed CS he was paying more then required, it ended up being maybe $3000 more then ever required over a period of time. Then he became unemployed for a while and did not inform CS, few months passed and he was getting letters he is in arrears, as they kept the same formula payment for months even though unemployed because he did not inform them he was unemployed and he explained he could prove it by centrelink statements etc and they would not accept that and only adjusted his payments down to nearly $0 the day he had contacted them after recieveing letters of $3000+ arrears, he also explained he had paid his ex numerous times loads more then above required, but that was not taken into account or consideration because he did not advise CS he was doing that. Very crap. So that year when he lodged a tax return, they took it all and gave it to her.

    When he was re-employed again and paying alot of CS again, and his ex asking for additional money, he said no, cannot do this anymore, as he needs money for himself as well, to live some what... and when he questioned her, in what the hell was she doing with that enormous amount of money per month, she would claim it went on kids, mind you, she has 2 other kids, too 2 different fathers after his an dher marriage ended, and he was sure money was used on those kids as well as a gambling addiction she had, and then he started to refuse to pay her lump sums of cash, and started paying school fee's, uniforms, various clothings etc and reduced the amount of cash actually given per month, this set her right off... but there was not much she could do about it.

    He now gives his teenager son, $200 per month directly to his own account, he is almost 17, studying.

    CS is very unfair in how much they calculate other working parent to pay for CS. I know it was introduced so the Gov pays less in family support, but the amount people are required to pay is ridiculous and there needs to be a better system in place, its improving but it has a long way to go.

    Especially in situations where you see far to often the in most cases women getting the CS spending it on themselves, smokes, gambling, clothes, outtings whatever and not on the kids like it is suppose to be. I hate that.

    For the genuine good guy who cares about his kids, I really feel sorry for them and being caught up in the CS web.
    I completely understand what you are saying.
    A good friend of ours has been in the situation of paying high maintenance for his 3 boys but for some reason the mother always asks for more and for a while he was giving it to her on the side, it equated to thousands. What she was doing with the money we don't know but obviously that money wasn't going towards paying for what the boys needed which is the frustrating part. Maintenance should be paid directly to an expenses account I think to ensure it goes towards clothing, school fees etc so people can at least take comfort in knowing the money they are paying is actually being spent on the kids. Our friend is just glad now that all his boys are 18 and he doesn't have to pay for the ex's lifestyle anymore. He now pays for things for his kids when he feels like it and when they need something and ask him.

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    LillyPonds (05-09-2012)

  4. #103
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    I completely understand what you are saying.
    A good friend of ours has been in the situation of paying high maintenance for his 3 boys but for some reason the mother always asks for more and for a while he was giving it to her on the side, it equated to thousands. What she was doing with the money we don't know but obviously that money wasn't going towards paying for what the boys needed which is the frustrating part. Maintenance should be paid directly to an expenses account I think to ensure it goes towards clothing, school fees etc so people can at least take comfort in knowing the money they are paying is actually being spent on the kids. Our friend is just glad now that all his boys are 18 and he doesn't have to pay for the ex's lifestyle anymore. He now pays for things for his kids when he feels like it and when they need something and ask him.
    Oh yes, the ex wife lifestyle.

    The expenses account would never work, childrens expenses go beyond fees and clothing, they're often very intertwined into the expenses of the family in general.

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    Stiflers Mom (05-09-2012)

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    Default *Spin off* How would you like to see the CS system organised?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    Oh yes, the ex wife lifestyle.

    The expenses account would never work, childrens expenses go beyond fees and clothing, they're often very intertwined into the expenses of the family in general.
    She probably got her nails done or went on a holiday! The m0le!

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    Bubmum (05-09-2012),Stiflers Mom (05-09-2012)

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    Default *Spin off* How would you like to see the CS system organised?

    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    She probably got her nails done or went on a holiday! The m0le!
    Or spent it on gym membership, hairdressers and boozy lunches. Which is what I do with my CS.

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    Stiflers Mom (05-09-2012)

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    With all this discussion about the ridiculously high CS some men supposedly pay.... most of us here are bio mums.... so we know what it costs to raise a child right? I just went out and spent hundreds and hundreds for my boys first year of school next year for uniforms. Still haven't got school shoes, runners, sport shorts. DD's uniforms are even dearer. $70 for one winter tunic.

    The majority of payers are paying no where near close to half of what it costs. Those that are paying alot clearly are earning a lot. My view is, why shouldn't the child see some of that large income for a better standard of living.

    It isn't the child's fault the parents aren't together, or they were an accident, pr bc the father has now decided his new kids are more important.

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    Default *Spin off* How would you like to see the CS system organised?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    I completely understand what you are saying.
    A good friend of ours has been in the situation of paying high maintenance for his 3 boys but for some reason the mother always asks for more and for a while he was giving it to her on the side, it equated to thousands. What she was doing with the money we don't know but obviously that money wasn't going towards paying for what the boys needed which is the frustrating part. Maintenance should be paid directly to an expenses account I think to ensure it goes towards clothing, school fees etc so people can at least take comfort in knowing the money they are paying is actually being spent on the kids. Our friend is just glad now that all his boys are 18 and he doesn't have to pay for the ex's lifestyle anymore. He now pays for things for his kids when he feels like it and when they need something and ask him.
    CS is paid in arrears so it's actually the custodial parents money. Rest assured, the money has already been spent on food or clothing, unless the child is starved and naked. My child costs more than the $200 a month I get, believe me.

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    Stiflers Mom (05-09-2012)

  14. #108
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    Default *Spin off* How would you like to see the CS system organised?

    God I love my ex sometimes. He sees the CS as going into my income pool. My son gets looked after out of that income pool. He never would question a hair cut or a night out.

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    If there was one thing I could wish for, it would be that the bio mum could not get blamed for any changes in assessment.
    We just got a new assessment and while it is admittedly very huge (my ex earns over 100k a year), it is not my fault. I do not make the assessments, I do not work for CSA so I have no say in it. It just is what it is.
    It seems that with every new assessment, unless it goes down, I am in the poo with him ringing up and crying poor and blaming me for the change and how is he going to pay and demanding MORE time with the kids (which is funny how it coincides with the rate change) and getting mean and threatening.
    If only he understood that I would refuse ALL money from him if I could.

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    eep double post. Sorry

    Ok, to add something fair in for the payers, it would be good if they went off net pay rather than gross pay.
    I would also say that it would be good if they took expenses into account, but then its my ex's choice to run up debt and be bad at budgetting, so I guess that wont work either.
    Honestly, I dont know how to make it fair, all I know is that Id love to not be blamed and yelled at all the time about this, and to be threatened with taking the kids more each and every time.
    Last edited by LotusMum; 05-09-2012 at 15:43.


 

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