*Spin off* How would you like to see the CS system organised?

[delirium]

I don't usually do spin offs.... but the CS thread has me thinking. Both custodial and non custodial parents feel the system, to put it bluntly, sucks.

So what does everything think should happen to make it more equitable for everyone? Or is it impossible to please both sides? What flaws need to be fixed and what can they be replaced with?

Please be nice

[Mokeybear]

Subbing and will be back after dinner etc the other thread was very very thought provoking.

[faroutbrusselsprout]

It's such a one fits all approach.
It would be impossible but I wish each case could be dealt with individually.
I have no answers and I know I'm in the very small minority that has been able to make a private agreement with receiving and paying. Every time I read posts on here about some cases makes me very grateful.
Step families suck massive ones.

[delirium]

Every time I read posts on here about some cases makes me very grateful.
Step families suck massive ones.

I have said here before I'm not sure DH and I would have continued if he already had kids. I wanted to be the first one to give him kids, to not have to share him. I think whether you are the step parent or the bio parent it's tough going. Growing up I hated being part of a blended family bc of all the crap that went on. My mum running my father down. My SF competing with my Dad until he had kids to my mum then he could have cared less about me.... so yes it does suck.

Having said that, some are able to make it pretty successful....

[Ra Ra Superstar]

It would be good if it was a 50/50 system. I have no idea how that would be implemented though.

I would also like to see harsher penalties for people who dodge CS.

[SassyMummy]

I think a percentage of the non-custodial parents wage needs to be taken REGARDLESS of how much that is... ON TOP of a "absolute minimum" they need to pay. So, let's say the government decides that each child deserves $5000 a year from their non-custodial. EVERY child should get that from their non-custodial, but then on top of that, the non-custodial also must pay a percentage of their wage to the child.

I mean, it makes sense to me that way... a child who LIVED with both his parents would be benefitting from one of them getting a raise and earning a lot more... and this should be the case regardless of whether or not the child lives with that parent too.

I think non-custodials and their partners also need to realise that the child from a previous relationship isn't just going to vanish because they decide to have children together... so they need to decide how many children THEY have based on how much the other child is already costing them. It may mean they might need to have only 2 kids instead of 4 to survive comfortably, but you know what? Too bad. That child deserves to be treated fairly much more than adults deserve to have as many children as they want.

Both parents, custodial and non-custodial, will find issues with having a child from a previous relationship... so it's not just hte non-custodial that suffers in this instance. After all, even if my ex paid a decent amount of child support (he pays none), my partner would still be footing a lot of the bills for DD, and whether or not WE had more kids together would be dependant on how we could cater for them AND my existing child... why should it be any different for her Dad just because he buggered off? It shouldn't. My daughter deserves no less just because we're no longer together.

Anyway, that's how I see it as fairest.

I don't think I'd ever begrudge paying for my child if I wasn't her custodial parent. Yes, that may mean some of hte child support I'm paying means her other family can go on holidays...but who cares? I mean, surely that's benefitting HER, right? It's probably much nicer that side of her family can do things together because of the money I give them, rather than her never ever gettin to do things like that because they're struggling to put dinner on the table.

[ItWasntMe]

I would like harsher penalties for people who dodge CS, eg purposely underestimate their income, work cash in hand. I would also like the minimum amount raised because I think $2.70 or whatever it is a week is a ridiculous amount to expect parents to provide for their kids. I would like serial breeders (people who go around creating kids and not providing for them) to be given the snip *disclosure- yes I know this is against their 'human rights' but what about the rights of the children?'
My child isn't even 3 yet and has had 2 half siblings occur in the last 2 1/2 years to different mothers.

[Cleigh]

It's such a one fits all approach.
It would be impossible but I wish each case could be dealt with individually.
I have no answers and I know I'm in the very small minority that has been able to make a private agreement with receiving and paying. Every time I read posts on here about some cases makes me very grateful.
Step families suck massive ones.

Please dont make it sound like all step families are the same Im a mum and I work very hard to make sure that everyone in the family is accomodated.

[SassyMummy]

Not all step-families are sucky.

I think my daughter has a much better family life with DP as her father figure than she would have if I was still with her father. He supports her emotionally and financially... it's her own father who does absolutely nothing for her, not even send her a card for her birthday. Not all step-families are horrible to be a part of. It can be horrible to have a child with a dropkick ex though...

[River Song]

for us, the system works pretty well...but we are reasonably amicable so I am not sure how it would go otherwise.

I get a decent amount of CS...ex has plenty of his own money. We have both remarried and have move children with our new partners. We sort out maintenance privately...there have been threats of non payment when ex gets shirty, but, he has always managed to put DS first and not follow through (still a bit stressful me though).

I think it is disgraceful that parents don't support their kids financially...both mothers and fathers. I find it awful that parents run their kids parents down to them, it is emotional abuse.

The system cannot be done case by case...any more than unemployment benefits can be done one by one. It is just not possible. What needs to happen...is that people need to stop being greedy and selfish...sadly, the chances of that are slim to none!

edited to add - my step/blended family is not sucky. It is wonderful. We are all better off this way!